toddlers and vegetables - do you distract and persuade or let them get on with it?

[deaconblue]

about 8 months ago I decided to stop spooning food in while distracting ds with toys and books, but since then he hasn't eaten a single vegetable (not exaggerating) and the already small reportoire of what he will willingly eat is getting increasingly smaller. Today after a week of him eating almost nothing I drew with him while spooning in chicken casserole and he ate a whole portion.
Am now confused as to the best approach. He needs a balanced diet but it seems like a backward step to start distracting and spoon feeding him. what do you reckon?

i give her raw carrot while preparing which she chews and eats quite a bit. i always put bits of veg and meat on her plate as finger food, even sloppy stuff like cottage pie etc. anything that requires spoon feeding i give her a spoon and let her go for it and maybe sneak a few spoonfuls in while she is trying. my dd is 18 months. hth.

he is capable of feeding himself everything, he just chooses not to if there is a choice iyswim. He's 2 and 8 months and would only eat meat, cheese, bread and pasta if he had a choice. I hoped that if I just let him get on with it he might start eating the veg, potatoes etc himself but it's 8 months on and he just leaves his veg on the plate every day.

i let mine get on with it. thankfully they are so far good eaters, although they have their moments of not wanting to eat things, or just eating the bits they like

we're vegetarian though, so most meals are veggie based.
even if we were using a meat substitute or something though I would tend to make that about a quarter of their portion and the rest veg.
if they odn't eat it they go hungry and there is no pudding if they haven't at least tried each thing on their plates.

when ds1 was going through fussy phases I cut out all snacks during the day to ensure he was hungry enough to eat his meals.

i do think that children are capable of regulating their own appetites, so I wouldn't be worried if they were only eating a small amount. I would however make sure I gave them smaller portions but with a similar make up (ie, 3/4 veg and 1/4 whatever else)

How about fried up patties - like bubble and Squeak? It's the only darn way we can get veg into DD1 (2yr 2m) at the moment. I smash up veg - get them crispy on the outside and, if I'm feeling nice, top them off with a bit of cheese.

I see other LOs eating steamed carrot and broccoli and think - if only! And to think - weaning went so well - I was really smug! That'll teach me!

ds tends to go through phases where something he previously loved he stops eating & something he didn't like he'll suddenly start eating so I keep offering him a wide variety of foods. I also use the rule that until he's tried everything on his plate he can't have anything else. He also has lazy days (don't we all) where he'd like to be fed & he's nearly 4 now. Admittedly it's easy for me not to stress too much about it as ds is at nursery full-time & has a cooked lunch there where he eats all sorts of things he wouldn't entertain at home. Does your ds eat much fruit?

My DD (2;2)is also capable of spoon feeding herself and using a fork but also chooses not to. It's extremely frustrating but also varies sometimes she will feed herself a whole meal and at others she will not lift a finger (except for yogurt) so I find myself regularly feeding her. I do wish I had done it differently from a much younger age but she has never been a foodie and has always been underweight (not hugely as I have always ended up feeding her to supplement her diet).

My ds (23 months) has always been a fussy eater but is now getting worse. He will eat at nursery (although refuses meat) but at home it is becoming impossible to get him to eat anything (other than Weetabix, toast, fruit, yoghurts and cake!). I have cut out snacks in between meals and manage (usually) to keep calm and act as if it doesn't bother me, but it is driving me mad as I worry about his nutrition. dh wants to start refusing to give him his second course until he has eated his first course but I am not sure that he is old enough for this yet as I just want him to eat something(he is a skinny little thing and constantly runs around). Any thoughts?

Sensibleknickers it is so hard to strike the balance between encouraging good eating habits and good nutrition isn't it? I don't have the answers but I suspect it's different depending on the child.

DD is getting fussier too (she is 2.4). Tonight she ate, boiled ham and some roast potato. DH then popped a carrot on her fork and "posted" it through a napkin ring as a game. she ate them all She ate them that is all I care about! If you have to do some spooning then do it, he will eat on his own eventually.

We find eating together whenever we can really helps, I start off with her food on my lap/in my place at the table. She wants to eat my food. I make a fuss about it being mine, she laughs, I give it to her and go get my real plate. She eats hers.

I am hoping this is a phase!

DS is 22mo so a bit younger but for certain meals I still let him read books while eating and fork in food because he eats a lot more this way. For his favourite meals he will feed himself but if it's something he's not so keen on then he would just ignore it if left to his own devices.

As he only eats a limited range anyway, I figure keeping as varied a diet as possible is more important than him feeding himself at every single meal.

have you tried presenting the food with a dip? maybe mayo/ketchup or a spoon of beans or cheese sauce? dd will eat anything at all if she has a dip with it.

I wonder if this is an age thing? We we previously blessed with a DD who would eat anything. At 22mo she has just started to sift the veg out of casseroles/curries etc, and express a firm preference for meat/rice/potatoes. I have actually been spoon-feeding her for the first time in order to get some veg into her.

SensibleKnickers, I like the idea of cutting out snacks. I am continuing to give pudding though, as DD only has fresh fruit for pudding and at this rate will need it to avoid scurvy.

i put it on dds plate, if she whinges i say she has to try it to 'see if she has learned to like it yet' and then she can leave it

when brussel sprouts came into season (nov?) she thought they were awful two weeks ago she ate her sprouts and left her carrots and ate sprouts on xmas day while dh wouldnt

she had a teaspoon of sweet potato mash today, she still hates it, i wont make it all the time but will keep offering it

helping with shopping and cooking can help, dd wants me to buy avocadoes and leeks and picks them, i agree but she has to eat some, she wanted a red cabbage (pretty looking) and i cooked it, she wasnt keen but has tried now and asked me to buy again so i may add it into my veggies list

I do always give pudding, as I don't want it to seem like a treat -- its just a part of the meal like any other.

boy is 2.8 like yours. he only " likes" and eats a few vegtables in their naked shape, cucuber, frozen pes , frozen sweet corn, raw brocli. Others he will eat hiden in curry,, cottage pie or a pasta sause. SO, he has a vegtable i know he " will"eat on his plate at each dinner , sometimes he eats it willingly, sometimes grudingly. the rule now is no pudding ( other than fruit) till some veg hs been eaten. doesn't have be all of it, but 3 peas or one piece of brocli or cucumber.
Now he knows the rules he eats the veg if he wants pud.
He is even pickier about fruit than veg! only eats apple or satsuma. Its dull, but hey he ets those so I'm not too worried.

perhaps it's just an age thing. Have chatted to 2 rl friends about it today and both are currently spoonfeeding their 2 1/2 year olds too. He eats banana, melon and strawberries and dried fruit so not too worried about the fruit side.
Today though he refused his cottage pie (with carrot, baked beans etc mixed in) but when I started to eat it suddenly wanted it and ate the lot.