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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Anyone else think Supernanny should keep her ideas to herself until she's had her own kids!

28 replies

OlaMamas · 30/12/2008 19:05

Having a continuing mare with my 15 month DS STILL!!!! Please don't tell me its a difficult phase!!!!! It's been a difficult / nightmare 15 months!!!! AAAAHHHH

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CoteDAzur · 30/12/2008 19:10

Call Supernanny

Original poster

OlaMamas · 30/12/2008 19:11

Think even she'd admit defeat with this one!!!!

OP posts:

Leo9 · 30/12/2008 19:20

What are his behaviours?

piscesmoon · 30/12/2008 19:24

I think it is much, much easier if it isn't your own DC!

MrsMattie · 30/12/2008 19:25

Is his behaviour '/un-asssss-eptable'?

rubyslippers · 30/12/2008 19:26

at Mrs Mattie

Original poster

OlaMamas · 30/12/2008 19:46

More than unacceptable!!!!! speaks Ola mamas sheepishly..... whilst still ensuring one is fully made up for the cameras of course!!!!! DS1 Text book..... is this my comeuppance one wonders!!!! DS2 Colic that lasted ..... well not convinced its gone.... STILL NOT SLEEPING THRU..... Demanding.... clingy... has to be constantly attached to my thigh.... wakes DS1 who then turns into a tired and very grumpy 3 year old!!! Controlled crying!!!! Yes tried that!!!! Even offloaded DS1 to give it a proper guilt free few go's.... This one has staying power to impress.... we go past the stopping breathing stage straight to the gonna make myself sick!!!!! And can stop with an instant if picked up!!! Also hates everyone apart from me and grandad!!! Oh and naps for no more than about half an hour daily.... well unless held!!!! Not always practical with an active 3 year old! ADVICE Please Supernannies!!!!!

OP posts:

CoteDAzur · 30/12/2008 19:48

Maybe you should lay off the coffee.

If you write in sentences, minus the exclamation marks, I'm sure more people will understand what you are talking about.

Original poster

OlaMamas · 30/12/2008 20:07

Thanks CoteDAzur....great to find the worthwhile support and knowledge of...I assume another mother? (!) That one ok with you? Just checking you fully understand my message?

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Leo9 · 30/12/2008 20:15

Hmm, his clinginess sounds similar to my ds actually. It was ok for me because ds is a single child but I guess with a second child it is harder - you have stuff that you have to do!

To be honest though I think alot of this behaviour you can't, and probably shouldn't, fight. If he is clingy and needs to be with you that is very normal for his age and in my opinion, the more he has his needs met, the sooner he will be secure enough to go onto the next phase.

Likewise with crying at bedtime; we tried to get ds to conform to the normal 'give him a kiss and come out' type thing, but he simply did not want to be left and like your DS he could scream, and be sick, and NOT give up. We felt that he was showing us he needed something different so we went with it, and one of us would stay in the room with him to help him drop off. Even at 6 years old he still needs to know that we will be coming back to check on him.

Is it possible to fight his wants a little less, might that make things a bit easier?

littleducks · 30/12/2008 20:16

oh dd is 2.7 and not sleeping through, i would mark that as behaviour you cant change and concentrate on the bit you can, so when he wakes he cant make noise or disturb his brother

how routined are you? i hated it at first but the only way to get dd to sleep is to make it an every day unmissed habit (oh and saying just a little nap even at 7pm)

Leo9 · 30/12/2008 20:23

oh yes meant to say, not sleeping through yet at his age would be very normal in my circle of mums. More the exception to have a child sleeping through than the norm!

totally second what littleducks says; you can't stop him waking but you can work on dealing with it in such a way that there is minimal disruption etc.

Some things you do have to accept you can't change; and once you've accepted that I think finding solutions becomes easier because you're not so agonised about even having the problem in the first place.

girliefriend · 30/12/2008 20:24

15 months is a difficult age they are moving from baby to toddler, it can freak em out a bit!

Original poster

OlaMamas · 30/12/2008 20:25

Had a routine with DS1, but he seemed to fit in the norm and I know every child is different but it is so difficult to go with DS2's flow when it has such a harmful effect on DS1. He loves his sleep and suffers dreadfully when he has a lack of it, which thanks to DS2 is generally the case! Have come to realise DS2 doesn't need the sleep and do try to give as many cuddles and give in to clingyness wherever possible! But DS1 has his own demands as well as a household that needs running, cleaning and sorting! A mothers work really never is done! Struggling with the juggling at the mo!

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girliefriend · 30/12/2008 20:26

oh and no supernanny is fab IMO! Talks a lot of no nonsense common sense which I like! But she isn't really going to be able to do much with a 15month old! XxX

Leo9 · 30/12/2008 20:30

I think maybe work on keeping ds2 quiet in the night and I guess that's going to be you or DH sitting/laying in there while he settles; clearly you can't leave him to cry in the night.

I think also yes you do have a house to run etc but you have to deal with the reality; you have to play the cards you're dealt. I would suggest putting off what housework you can until the evening and doing it as a team with dh. It's not ideal and it's tiring but it is what I had to do with ds as he was a 'high maintenance' child like yours. But there is no point trying to push water uphill - you can only do what you can do in a day and with a child like this, that's going to be less than with an easier child.

FairyMum · 30/12/2008 20:34

Some children are just like that. Don't sleep, clingy, no routines.....normal for some children. I think you would find it a lot less stressful to just accept this is life with a baby/toddler.

Original poster

OlaMamas · 30/12/2008 20:35

I know that really....was just feeling insane doing "controlled crying" alone which drives me to distraction, when all I really want to do is pick him up and cuddle him off to sleep which supernanny says is a NO NO when I first started thread! Anyway..not sure there's anything that can be done to make this 15month old any easier! Thank god I love him to bits!

OP posts:

Leo9 · 30/12/2008 20:36

You can't make him easier but you can change little things you do to make your life easier, IMO.

littleducks · 30/12/2008 20:42

do they share a room?

mrsgboring · 30/12/2008 20:42

The Supernanny programmes are very selectively edited too - when you see a parent successfully controlling their child post-SN visit, they are clearly doing a lot of positive praise and being quite child-focused. What the production team seem to want to show is all the naughty-step "Show them who's boss" and "Teach 'em a lesson" world-view which sometimes comes dangerously close to child-hating vindictiveness. IMHO and all that.

I agree with the others about fighting your DS2's temperament as little as possible.

Original poster

OlaMamas · 30/12/2008 20:49

They don't share a room no but the house but we live in an average 4 bed semi so it isn't huge! Soon as DS2 stirs DS1 isn't far behind. Tend to think of bedtimes at the moment as my relay training! In and out of both DS's bedrooms with a few in-between kicks of DH to do his share as he miraculously is the only heavy sleeper in the house and manages to stay asleep!

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meandjoe · 31/12/2008 12:13

aww bless you ols, just found this thread. sounds like things are very tough. i know what you mean though about being difficult since birth, as you know from other thread! just wanted to add my support, i really don't know how i'd survive with 2 children, i think you are doing great!

everyone said my ds had colic too, he bloody didn't, he is just bad tempered and has been since about a week old! it will get better though, i'm sure once they can talk and express themselves, understand you etc.

my ds still has days where he clings to me but still just wants me to walk him around, won't sit nicely on my lap, grrrrrrr. he takes crappy naps too although have finally got him to take a 2hour nap in the pushchair sitting in living room with me. if he's in his cot he wakes up crying after 30 mins so had him napping on me for months but i only have one child, i can see it's impossible with 2. sending you huge symapthy and a lot of hugs! xxxx

Helsbels4 · 31/12/2008 12:23

Supernanny irritates the life out of me and I'm often seen shouting at the tv, "Well it's alright for you, you haven't got bloody kids. Try preaching when you have!" A lot of what she says makes sense but only if:-

a) They aren't your childen and you know you can give them back when you've had enough and

b) If you have the patience of a saint.

amess · 31/12/2008 12:26

Can't imagine how she and her team have managed to get away with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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