DS aged 5 not played with any other children during Christmas break

[TheSweetLittleBunny]

DS is our only child, and has been at home with us for the break doing Christmassy stuff. He has a half sister aged 9 who lives with her mother 80 miles away and we saw her on Saturday at my sister's house for the day. Apart from that there has been no play with other children.
Understandably everyone is so busy and it has been hard to make arrangements at this time of year. But he doesn't seem at all fussed and is quite happy to have us play with him or take him out to fun places. He has been bored a couple of times, but has played in his room or watched TV etc. He has lots of friends at school, and is friendly with children at his other activities he does, but does not seem particularly attached to any one in particular.
He tends to make friends with children older than he is. He had a little girl his age he has played with since he was 1, but they seem to argue so much when they see each other and now he says he "I hate her and I am not going to her party". (Which is on Sunday). There was a boy he was good friends with at nursery and they went to each other's 5th birthday party, but afterwards it was always difficult arranging a meet up time with his mum, so I gave up in the end, believing that as X already had a brother finding playmates for him was not so high on her list of priorities perhaps.
He is currently playing Hot Wheels with DH upstairs and is 100% happy then after that he will be quite content to watch one of his DVD's with me while I iron. But I just want him to have a couple of little boys to play with on a regular basis. I am worried that he is lonely. Am I worrying too much?

He is happy enough when we play with him, but we can't do "childish" things all day, we need to just sit and do adult stuff, and when we say to him to go off and play on his own for a while, he really resists going up to his (extremely well stuffed full of toys) room to play. That's when I feel guilty and worried about him being lonely.

I think at 5 its usual to be happy without playmates. I know ds sometimes wishes he could have peace from his sisters who spoil his games. He hasnt seen any friends from school over the christmas holiday and to be honest I wouldnt expect him to even if eh was an only child

I have two children (5 and 7) and neither want to play with anyone else but each other right now. Apart from their toddler cousin and a couple of babies, neither have seen or requested to see any other children of their own age.
I would not worry too much right now. After a first term of school I bet he is glad to have a couple of weeks rest from them all. I am glad to have a break from the playground and parents so not suprised my kids want a break from their peers. If that makes us dull, so be it. Personally, I think it is nice that they can enjoy their own company and family company without constant need for peer entertainment.
Perhaps during term time, nice to set up a few more playdates, but would not be concerned over the holidays.

(My opinion is a little coloured though as I could happily live on an island with just DH and the two kids and never see anyone ever again. Maybe the odd email and mumsnet, but no need for constant human entertainment and interaction to make me happy )

I feel so much better now. I was feeling guilty about this. At the school gates I am friendly with most of the mums and say hello and have a little chat and a laugh - but no one seemed to make any arrangements to meet up over the break, and I would have thought that would be a good thing to do to offload the kids for a while and let them do their own thing. I made an arrangement to contact one of the mums who I am now friends with, but she works nights and sleeps in the day.

If he doesn't like going up to his room on his own, then I'd just bring some toys downstairs.

Ds is an only child and we haven't organised anyone to come and play over the holidays - been too busy up to now. Might see if some of the neighbours want to play this week.

The little girls mummy said I should persuade him to come to the party - but she was such a brat last time they were together I think that has really put him off her - surely he is old enough to make his own judgement as to whether or not he wants to go to the party?

We tried the toys downstairs thing, but it gets very noisy as we are open plan and we would not be able to do our own thing as he would then want our full attention again. He has downstairs stuff like drawing, puzzles, plasticine that he does though.

DS1 is 4.5 and started school last September. He had a week without seeing any of his friends whilst we were away at Christmas, but still went off and found kids to play with at a wedding we went to, and when we visited soft play places. However, he's had lots of entertainment from GP's and aunties. Now we're back at home, he is happy to play with us, but would rather play with his friends than on his own.

I think if you're still at the stage where playdates mean a parent comes along too, that it's a pain at Christmas when people want family time. Luckily we've got a few similar aged boys on the street, so DS1 goes off to play at their houses without us. Perhaps if you work up to this stage over the term, then you'll fare better next holiday?

Ds(4.10) is currently playing outside, with the other boys.
This is the first time. I thought this was normal.

We're kind of open plan downstairs, and have most of the boys toys downstairs too. We usually try and set something up, then encourage them to play with it by themselves whilst we get on with things. Sometimes just being close and getting encouragement is all that they want.

I encouraged the upstair/downstairs separation because of the noise and to encourage him to be independant of us sometimes - in the warmer months he plays in the conservatory - and we can still see him and hear him and vice versa but it's freezing in there now so he can't.
We play with him in his room often (DH has been up there with him for a couple of hours now) and sometimes he brings things from upstairs down to play with but then he will insist on us joining in the game when we are in the middle of something else. I always say to him that sometimes we all need to be in the same space doing different things, sometimes we can all do things together, and sometimes we all need to do things on our own - he understands this but ignores me!

For example - he will want me to play a game with him when I am preparing dinner. Or if he does decide play with something, will keep trying to engage me in the game - even though I can see and hear him from the kitchen and am interacting with him as best as I can.
House is open plan ie knocked through lounge to dining room, and knocked through dining room to kitchen, with conservatory stuck on the end of dining room - so it's not as if we are ever in separate rooms - I can see the TV in the lounge from the kitchen.

Thinking back to when my own ds (another only) was 5, it probably is very difficult for your son to play completely independently. In fact, I used to have to keep a fairly sharp eye out even if he had friends in. What did work, if I was absolutely desperate for a break, was a toy that had a fair amount of interactivity built in - he had a Leapster which would keep him happily amused for a while. And I could tell myself that it was educational! (Cbeebies or a dvd also worked, but not as well.)

Aged 9, ds still loves a game he can play with us, but will also read or otherwise amuse himself quite happily without parental input. Visitors need a lot less supervision, too.

Christmas tends to be far and away the hardest time to organise things anyway. Most of our friends have big families living locally, and it is inevitable and understandable that a lot of their time at Christmas is taken up with them.

I envy you! My ds(5) & dd(8) argue with each other constantly and over anything. No issue is small enough for them not to use it as an excuse for beating the other to a pulp. Although they occasionally do play in the company of each other, they can't play with each other without a screaming match. It's exhausting, especially during the hols.

What's almost worse is that ALL of our neighbors with dc have gone up to their "place" in the mountains, either rented or owned. I wish we could do the same but financially impossible atm.

DS plays really nicely with DSD but she's not here that often.

I did have some playdates lined up for DD2 as it's also her birthday tomorrow but we have all had really BAD colds and we are all coughing in unison, so not very healthy for her little friends.
She is not too dissapointed though as she had her sister to play with and of course loads of new toys.