How to make a 7 year old do as she is told.....HELP

[dontlisten]

dd 7 and generally good girl, bit of a torment to ds3 but ok most of the time.
the problem is she tends blatently ignore when you ask her not to do something.

ie, we went out on the scooter today and dh said leave next doors gate and she ingnored and opended it. its like she doesnt care and does it anyway or visiting she ignores even when i have warned her before not to touch and constantly saying dont.
Help anyone before dh blows a gaskett,

ds age 3

Is she just pushing boundaries? Have you tried time out for ignoring you, ie specifically saying you are having time out for deliberately ignoring what I said?

Is there a consistancy for ignoring you / DH regardless as the severity of the ignoring?

Zero tolerance will get the message across.

tried time out, remove item etc.

its worse out in public like they know your not going to kick off big time.

Mt it seems to be anything she wants to do and is refused, curious things if you know what i mean.

Does sound like pushing boundaries. I was try time out again consistantly whether it be there and then in public or once you are back home?

rewards for good behaviour me thinks? if she manages a day/week doing as you ask, nice treat?

If she didn't leave the gate alone, I'd warn her again and if she still persisted I'd have brought her in and let her know why.

Sounds a bit oppositional, if she can do it she usually won't but will do what she knows she shouldn't.

I would sit down with her and ask her why she does certain things, tell her your interested as you say things like leaving peoples gates alone as there could be a danger to her opening it ie unhappy dog.

For a while, maybe try to limit your instructions to the absolute necessary. As in, life threateningly necessary.

And maybe more just wait and see what she does rather than anticipating that she'll do something inconvenient, and then decide whether to have a confrontation or quietly to close the gate yourself and on you go. It's your energy, your choice where to put it.

I suppose what I'm driving at, with zero evidence since you've just given one anecdote is that maybe in your daughter's eyes you are sweating the small stuff so much that she is getting used to being thwarted at too many turns, rightly or wrongly, and she needs to have some slack cut so she can be working at navigating through the universe without anticipating parental judgement all the time.

NB NB NB NB NB I am probably completely off base.

My 7 year old girl is a challenge at the moment too.

She is so sweet and helpful and a pleasure to be with, until you ask her to do something she doesn't want to do...

I hae blown several gaskets recently HTH