reluctant walker

[monkey]

Any ideas with this, I'm sure common problem? I have 2 boys roughly 18 months apart, just over 2 & 3.5. Because of the small gap I had to get a double buggy, and still use it. I walk a lot as it's my main source of exercise, so I'll briskly walk to my destination rather than use the car or pub. transport if possible. I am now pg so this is especially true as I don't want to pile it on like the last 2 times!

Problem, ds1 does not ever want to walk, bacause he's always got the buggy there. Parents with single kids of a similar age are all abandoning their pushchairs, but for me that's not possible, as ds2 is a 'runner awayer' and still can't walk that far/quickly, plus I find it difficult to walk safely with 2 little ones, & I definitely wouldn't get very far very quickly - no exercise for me.

Dh is starting to get really fed up with ds1's lack of desire to walk, so on the w/e it's starting to be a problem especially.

The other problem is I really need to & value walking at reasonable pace. We do have a single buggy, but it has a built in, non-removable buggy board, so if I do use it, ds1 will always ride on that & even that winds dh up!

I have considered a bike for ds1 but then that's not excatly ideal for in town on a Saturday afternoon. Or do people find it's not a problem?
Has anyone else got any suggestions? I've also wondered about a scooter, but I'm worried he'll still get tired/fed up/ I'll be stuck with a whingey tired kid who wants to be carried, plus carrying a scooter with another toddler & screaming baby in tow!!!!

Boy do I sympathise. DS is 3y+5m and even if he does walk, it's often in the direction we don't want to go. My 2nd (DD) is only 17 months.

FWIW... I find having DS on the bike sort of works. Except that DS usually tantrums heading home, so the bike is only good one way. We lock bike up rather than take it into shops. We also have a little plastic car -- meant to be a ride on toy for a 18 month old, but DS loves to ride it, too. Sort of like a very stable skateboard... We have managed to go thru town even on very busy market days, but I spend a lot of time admonishing DS to watch where he's going, and to go slower.

Sometimes I go into town with DS on bike, DD in a single pushchair, and a baby backpack. If DS turns uncoooperative, I can lock the bike up, stuff him in puschair and put 17 month old into backpack. I go back for the bike later or find a way to hook it over the pushchair to get home.

Friends with "good" 3yo walkers say that their children won't walk if a pushchair were available. We find that DS clamours to be carried in our arms even if a pushchair isn't there. The only way to change is beginning to look like cruel, brute force. It means picking up DS and walking 25 feet. Drop him and go back for bike (or whatever). Take that 50 feet forward and return for DS -- only my DS has a huge abandonment complex and will actually walk (more like drag himself along screaming panic) the extra 25 feet if he's terrified he might be left behind. I have tried the pulling him down the road by his arm bit: it feels awful & doesn't coax him into walking next time, anyway.

hi monkey this might not work for everyone but i had the same problem with my ds and what i did was to take him shopping for trainers i let him choose and he picked ones with lights he was so happy to watched the lights with every step that he didn`t want the pushchair anymore it might be worth trying,good luck

I think this is so common with two children and this gap, I get it with my dd1, nearly 3 years old, and dd2, 19 months. Either both walk (opposite directions), or both fight to go in the single buggy, or I take the double and dd1 goes in it, while dd2 walks (in the wrong direction). It's very frustrating. My only solution is to accept that the older child will take longer to become a good walker while there's a little one in a buggy, and to use the double buggy for a few months more. This can be irritating when friends with just one child are ditching theirs, but I think it's hard for our 3 year olds to always be the "big sensible grown up child".
Someone reminded that these children are probably getting a lot less babying than their friends who don't have younger siblings. Also, in my experience, most people who tell me their 2.5 year old is a really good walker don't really expect them to walk much, they just don't notice they are often carrying the child home. You only really notice that when you are trying to carry two of them!

Hello everyone
I have a 15month gap between my two kids, and the eldest dd, walked around most of the time since she was 21/2, but just recently as soon as my younger one hops out of the buggy, she is in it like a flash, my dd is 4 and my ds is 3, do you think she is too old for a pushchair?

hello again,
I have got my double buggy back out, but don't want this to be a all the time buggy, only when I think she is going to moan alot, any suggestions?

Oh well monkey, when the new one comes he'll have to give up his place in the double buggy anyway.

I have stopped using double buggy now and just use the single so when I go out I strap dd (22m) in and ds (3.5yr) walks - he is generally quite good but on the days he is tired or fed up we have various ploys to "encourage" him to keep going, basically, anything to distract him not wanting to walk but keeping him moving forward:

how many steps to the red car/dustbin/lampost...
picking up elastic bands/different coloured leaves/stones/twigs,
counting the houses/cars we pass
looking at the house numbers/car colours/different types of shops
playing first one to see a bus/post box/a pram etc
If he says he wants a rest, he sits down on the step/wall/bench etc for 10sec and then we carry on - sometimes I find just letting him do it even if not really tired lets him think he has achieved something and then will carry on again quite happily
I find telling ds in advance what we need to buy ie fruit and then saying can you help me choose some gets him interested enough to keep going there
Last resort - bribery - once we get to shops we could go and get a drink in the cafe/ go to the swings on the way back etc

Hope this helps, jemw

Thanks for all of the replies so far.
I guess I'm especially keen to sort this out as I'm pg. I would feel much happier if he was weaned off the pushchair with plenty of time before baby comes. I would hate him to feel evicted because of baby, but at the end of the day, he definitely will be, because there is no way I could cope with lugging a baby around full time.

Zebra - you sound like you've got it even worse than me - or is that just what I've got coming to me??

I have about 8 months, which I know is loads of time - he'll develop a lot in the coming months, but he shows no sign of moving out of the pushchair. Is there another mum of 3 out there with great ideas??? I have seen other kids with these lighty-upy-trainers, but never seen 'em in the shops.

I think I've been well & truly put off the bike idea!

OK - my first piece of advice I know you won't like - you're going to have to slow down. It is unreasonable to expect young children to walk at anything even approaching a brisk adult pace. DS1 is 5.5 and very tall, and he still has to run to keep up with a brisk pace.

Children become good walkers by having lots of practice, building up their strength and stamina. So try and pick journeys which are not too long (no further than .5 mile), and allow plenty of time - up to half an hour if poss., so there is no "time stress", at a time of day when he is not already tired, and give him no choice but to walk. Don't take the double buggy, or the buggy board, (buy a cheap umbrella buggy for ds2) and make it clear that you will NOT under any circumstance pick him up. Then also offer a reward for "nice walking" - ideally something immediate - e.g. he gets to watch a video when he gets home. Try and do this journey as often as possible. When you need to do bigger distances or are in a hurry, do take the buggy board. (I wouldn't recommend a bike or scooter, they are hard work when you've got more than one child).

Also try and make walking fun - talk about everything you can see - leaves, trees, birds. At about this age ds1 learned all the brand badges of cars, and used to enjoy spotting them from a distance. Also you can play great games using the numbers and letters of car registration plates - ask me if you want some ideas. If you make a point of chatting to him, and playing these sort of games when he's walking, and not when he's in the buggy, he should start to get the message.

Also, make the most of times when they will walk - exciting day trips to museums or theme parks, when even the most reluctant walker will stay on their feet all day long (IME).

It can be a battle at times, but it is definitely worth it. Fight on!

Sorry this was long - hope it's helpful.

Thanks all of you - Sorry jemw & slug - I didn't see your messages before I posted. I guess I'll have to teach him numbers & letters pretty quick too!

I am going to convert my double back to the single (it's been a permanent feature so long I'd practically forgotten I can do it!) and this one there is no buggy board so he'll have to walk. Wish me luck tomorrow! I should convert it tonight but I'm too tired and I'm not going out in my dressing gown! I guess my next question is going to be how to get some exercise & not pile on the pounds when my only source of exercise is gone & I'm reduced to a snails pace!

Thanks a lot for your post kmg - and don't worry there is no way I'll be carrying him.