Does anyone on here have a child who shows asperger traits but not enough to say they have aspergers IYKWIM

[myredcardigan]

I've posted in SN too but I wondered if anyone had been worried that their child displayed traits but as there weren't enough to get a diagnosis or cause major problems then they just worked with it and their child did just fine.

DS def shows some traits, most noticable are his difficulties with social interaction esp in a large group. He is in Reception and I know they are already worried about him.

However, he has no language problems, had good non-verbal communication before language too. Nor does he have any problems with pretend play or imagination.

I just know he has problems but I'mnot sure what or how to tackle them. Any ideas gratefully received.

Have you had a professional assessment done in order to rule out such a diagnosis? Aspergers would not have language impairment - that is one of the things which seperates it from autism.

Otherwise, unless he is actualy ditressed himself, or causing major diffulties for teachers or carers, then I don't think it's someting to worry about. I come across peoplequite regularly, professionally, who are clearly at least borderline Aspergers but have done very well for themselves.

Crikey - what awful typing. I am sober, honestly.

Thanks, Acinonyx. I know,I know. It's just if he does have an ASD, I'd rather know so as to employ strategies to help him as best I can.

My eldest son (6 years) definitely has several traits. Mum is a clinical psychologist and we've pretty much always been aware of it tbh. She describes his as being on the fringes of the spectrum.

He is now in y2 and has struggled at different points in school, especially with his tendency to try and communicate on an adult level with the teachers and his social interactions with his peer group as well as having several irrational fears and sensory problems (can't stand the feel of paper on his hand which makes handwriting difficult, for example). He has for the most part managed to fit in and get along. He enjoys school and has a really nice small group of close friends (he didn't develop this till midway through year 1 though and to be honest lots of children still prefer to play alone during the first couple of terms of reception).

Its only his new teacher this year who has picked up on how he is 'different' and what his 'issues' are without assuming he is just awkward or rude. I was so relieved when it came up at parents evening as although he is not 'bad' enough to be formally assessed, his problems are now being taken into consideration and they are keeping an eye on him, with a view to an assessment in future if he starts to struggle.

I would arrange a meeting with his teachers and explain what you feel his main issues or problems are and how you feel they could help him work with or around them.

I found some of the info in this book quite useful, but don't know if your little boy has the same sort of problems as mine.

This range of dvds has also been recommended to me to help with his social interaction and understanding of other peoples feelings etc. Haven't tried them yet though as they are being given as a gift for Christmas. They do a feelings one and an expressions one I think.

Hi there - my son has Aspergers mentioned from time to time but does not actually quite meet the criteria for diagnosis. What he does have are some spectrum like behaviours. These are mainly sensory things - when he does PE in the school hall he has to wear headphones or he can't stand the noise. His teacher also says he doesn't read expressions well and has trouble interpreting other people's emotions. So has no idea when he has really annoyed someone....

He is empathetic of other children which many children with Aspergers are not. Like your DS he has no language problems and has no problems with imagination or pretend play.

He has some problems with concentration and fine motor skills.

My DS is in Year 1 now and is on School Action Plus - but the school are trying to get him statemented as he is having alot of 1-1 time.

Previously he has been termed as having "sensory integration delay/disorder". There is a link about this [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_Integration_Dysfunction here]] which might help too.

Wow! Thanks for those links moosemama - especially the DVDs - they look good for my DS.

Agree with Acinonyx as well by the way. A lot of very successful people could be described as 'on the spectrum' and it has, if anything, helped them to excel in their chosen field.

DS1 has a major thing for computers and electronics and I can see him being very successful in this field when he is older. We have to be careful that he doesn't get obsessional about it (one of his issues) but do try to encourage his interest and it really boosts his self esteem to find that he has something that he is really good at.

I completely agree with you which is why perhaps you should consider a proper asessment. If he has ASD 'proper' then you may need professional help and advice which a diagnosis would make available. Social interaction is the key trait here - and you need a face-to-face interview to establish the degree of problem there. If it's borderline or unrelated social difficulties - that process might still get you some proper advice.

I work on autism and aspergers but not in a way which is useful in this context. There are some quite specialist approaches to teaching children to read social cues - but you need to assess exactly what it is that's missing.

JollyPirate, your son sounds very similar to mine although with different sensory issues. He seems able to shut himself off from noise, but has real problems with how things feel on his skin. He is highly articulate, has a great imagination, a cheeky fun sense of humour and is very empathic in many ways, but has trouble picking up the cues from others body language and expressions which would tell him how his behaviour affects other people. He is often totally confused and/or upset at other people's reactions to what he has said or done.

When ds1 was 7 we had a (private) assessment with an Educational Psychologist, because we were very concerned about his (lack of) awareness of all sorts of social skills. He just seemed very disinterested in other people and friends, and didn't seem able to get along easily with other children in group work or play.

He agreed with us that ds1 showed a number of signs of ASD/AS, and that it was not a major problem at the time (school were not concerned), but that we might consider a referral for a diagnosis when he was older. He also confirmed that ds1 was academically exceptionally bright, and agreed with school that this was one of the things causing him some difficulties socially, as he wanted to interact with children on a different level to what they were capable of.

He suggested that whether or not he had/has AS, the strategies that work well with children with AS would probably work with him. He told us something about them on the day, and more in his report, and gave us further information about reading material. He also put us in touch with the local AS advisor in the LEA SEN support unit, who gave me loads of material for ds1.

We used lots of strategies with him: modelling behaviour and talking through our thought processes; talking about social situations in advance and how people might be feeling, how they might react, how they might show those feelings in their speech or body language; role play; social stories; etc. Effectively we taught him strategies and behaviours and awareness that you might expect most children to pick up 'naturally'.

[scroll on 4 years]

He is now very happy and settled and these worries seem a long way in the past. He's certainly a bit of an odd bod (nerdy geek), but he is extremely popular and makes friends easily now, he has loads of mates and a good number of close friends. He can be quite sensitive and aware of other people's feelings now, and is generally an all-round charming child. He's just started secondary school, and has made the transition relatively seamlessly. By all accounts he is a model pupil.

I still think he does have some difficulties, which might be described as being on the fringes of the AS part of the spectrum. But he is very bright and has learned how he needs to behave in order to fit in and be popular.

I still talk to him occasionally about new experiences and discuss what might be the best way to respond to something. But it's a long time since I wondered whether we might need to pursue the diagnosis route at some point, to help other people working with him.

Oh Roisin, your post has made me cry. I so hope for a similar outcome for DS. Would you be happy to name the Ed psych on here as I'm told recommendation is the way to go. It's not as if you've said he was rubbish! We'd also like to go for a private assessment just to establish facts. Your DS sounds like mine;Was there a bookor website you were recommended? Thanks

Moose and Pirate,thank you very much. All info is useful especially good links. My DS appears to have no sensory problems whatsoever. No food or clothes issues nor is he sensitive to noise or light.

Acinonyx, you are right about the assessment and that's what we're planning to do. As I've mentioned, he doesn't have sensory issues,language problems not difficulties with pretend/imaginative play. But,he does really struggle socially. He wants friends and is always asking if kids can come round to play and plays ok in a twosome but cannot bring himself to initiate conversation in a group situation. He absolutely will not speak during carpet time. He is keen to take things for Monday show and tell but then won't 'tell' and his teacher ends up ad-libbing. During this time he completely covers his face because others are looking at him.

It is (IMO) quite extreme. If someone says hello to him and he wasn't expecting it, he is mortified and just hides. If we're going somewhere socially and I want any chance of him interacting,I need to step by step prep him of who's going to be there and what they might say. His play is a little rigid but that could be his bossy nature. He only plays with the same thing for 15or so minutes then onto something else. He does have favourites which change over time but not at all to the point of obsession or exclusion or other toys/games/interests.

Also, he has no dyspraxic tendancies. Good fine and gross motor skill. Good pencil control and handwriting and jumping, ball kicking/catching and bike riding.

On the plus side, he does seem to have empathy and comforts his sisters if they're crying. He is danger aware and tells me if DD1 is doing something dangerous. Oh and I did the Sally Anne test (found it in MN archives) and he had no problem with that so that's all good I think.

ds(10) is dyspraxic with some social issues which the EP didn't think worth following up at this stage since we had so much more in the assessment already. His verbal comprehension level is way ahead of his age and he takes school life rather more seriously than many of his peers which doesn't help him socially btu has nonetheless established a core group of friends with shared interests and is largely accepted as an individual by his peers. So it is intersting to hear of Roisin's son who si a few years ahead.

Thanks you, LIZS. It's good to hear a '2nd' story of a child doing well despite traits.

I think part of DS's problem is the fact that he is so bright. That doesn't help his peer relationships.