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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

11 month old DD - goes to anyone, crawls away.

10 replies

pamelat · 18/12/2008 15:52

This might sound ideal as I can leave her in the creche for an hour, no upset. I can ask anyone to hold her and its always fine.

I have left her at in laws and my parents for a day, never any tears, nor any real recognition that "mummy" is back. A smile and off doing what she is doing.

Today at a party she crawled off in to a different room and does her own thing, occasionally having a glance at me (especially if someone unknown appears)

However, most of the other babies seem to cry for their mums or follow them around more.

I just want to check that its ok that DD seems fine without me, its not that she hasn't bonded (as I think we did months and months ago)

I have also been told by the mums of the crying babies that its much worse when they have started nursery. At the moment I am around all day every day so she is probably sick of me!

I want her to be confident and independent (something which I have always been rubbish at) but I also want to check that its normal for her to be so "ok" on her own.

She literally crawls over to anyone and tries to interact, its very sweet. At some point I will have to teach "stranger danger", I think thats a long time away yet.

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thisisyesterday · 18/12/2008 16:00

both of mine were like that. ds1 got a bit more "clingy" for want of a better word when he was about 3ish but is still fine really.

ds2 was a total velcro baby, but once he could crawl and then walk he was off.

i take it as a sign that they are super secure and know I will always be there for them, thus they can go off happily without worrying I won't be there when they choose to return

Original poster

pamelat · 18/12/2008 18:24

yeah thats a good way of looking at it.

I do think the fact that we have always been out and about and meeting other mums/babies may have something to do with it.

This afternoon we turned up at a friends house that we havent seen for 3 months or so (bearing in mind thats a long time ago for an 11 month old). I had to re-park the car so gave X my DD to hold, and went off to move the car with DD waving bye at me!! Chimp.

OP posts:

littleboyblue · 18/12/2008 18:26

My ds is the same. He doesn't seem bothered if I'm there or not.

angel1976 · 18/12/2008 20:13

Mine too! And I wanted to post a message to find out if it is normal... I'm the primary caregiver so it's not as if he is used to being cared for by someone else. In any activities I take him to, he crawls away from me as fast as possible and if he hurts himself and I pick him up to comfort him, all he needs is 2 seconds of comforting and he wants to be off again!

Every mum I've met seems to have super-clingy babies and they are so envious of me... But I have to admit I feel a little unloved BUT I can see that DS is healthy, happy and ok, he's also Mr Independent but I think I can live with that. BTW, he's 10 months old and I have taken him to loads of baby groups since young but I also know lots of mothers who have done that but their LOs are still clingy. I think it's in their genetic makeup IMO...

Original poster

pamelat · 18/12/2008 20:58

Yep it must be normal.

She will probably become a solo round the world sailor! I'll be calling her every hour!

Its funny though as sometimes at home, she will show a "preference" for me over DH, but never out and about or around more interesting people. When I say preference, I know its not really one, just little things like that sometimes she wont drink her bed time milk, except from me.

Contrary little girl much like her mother.

OP posts:

FanjoForTheYuletideMammaries · 19/12/2008 08:05

My DD was like this at this age...then it changed at 2 and she is much more clingy, enjoy it while it lasts!

piscesmoon · 19/12/2008 08:09

I would also say enjoy it while it lasts-just because she does it now doesn't mean it will continue. I would say it was a sign of a secure baby.

IAteTheWholeSelectionBox · 19/12/2008 08:15

DS is so like this pamelat. You can dump him in any room and he just sets off to explore without a backward glance. However, now he's a bit older (17 months) he's also incredibly affectionate so I get the best of both worlds - he's not hanging on to me all day long but he's got any amount of hugs and kisses to share (on his terms!). I don't doubt it will all change again at some point but don't worry, when the cuddles start coming it's marvellous

I like to think it's a sign of security and confidence too

WewishyouaBUMPERLICIOUS · 19/12/2008 08:33

DD was like this, still is. I think it helps that she doesn't go to nursery, and because we live in a flat she has always been allowed to roam around on her own.

DD is 18 mo now and still pretty much the same. I think the fact that she doesn't go to nursery makes her a bit more secure about being left. I don't mean that LOs who go to nursery are insecure, it's just because DD doesn't go to nursery all day, and isn't left very often, when we do leave the room she doesn't have that "oh my god you are never coming back" fear that I see in other LOs I know.

She also goes and 'talks' to anyone wherever we are!

I have worried that it means she isn't bonded, but I don't think it does. I intend to put her into a nursery one day a week in the new year and DH and I are under this complete delusion that because she is so sociable and relaxed she will take to it fine. We might get a shock!

mrsgboring · 19/12/2008 08:42

It is all an age thing - separation anxiety can start and stop any time up to age 3 I've read (and personally I think it can go on a bit longer than that, looking at various 4 and 5yos I know)

Many of you on this thread will find that your DCs do go through a clingy phase, it's just a little later than your friends' babies.

Some don't, and some get through the whole thing in a week. And some, like my (super secure btw) DS do six months of totally welded to parents (usually me).

All babies are different.

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