18month old on rampage!!HELP!!

[Clarabumps]

I'm at the end of my rope. This is my third week of maternity leave, ds2 is due at the beginning of february. DS1 is 18 months old and has been going through a biting, generally naughty stage and he's started to throw tantrums. i am finding it increasingly hard to discipline him.

At nursery they were removing him from the situation for a one minute time out. I have tried this and he merely laughs at me. I have tried distracting him with other toys however i feel this is not effective with more serious issues such as biting.

I have got so angry sometimes that i've had to walk away as i feel as though anything i say makes no difference. I get so frustrated that i have thought about smacking him (which i never thought i would ever even contemplate! I never would, ever!but the thought crossed my mind which i'm totally ashamed to admit.)

Its just to see if there is anyone who have found any techniques that were particularly effective? need all the help i can get at the moment as i would like to have some kind of plan in place for when the new baby comes. Thanks x

Time out never worked for me.

Effective.... hmmm. I think you have to think long term rather than short term. You have to tell them several times at this age for it to sink in but I believe saying something is enough. So for something serious, firm no with v short reason eg hitting hurts, then distract/remove from situation.

Also model the right behaviour. It's really hard to fight your instinct and not get cross when they try to do something that hurts the baby but at this age it is usually curiosity so there's not much point getting cross.

just wanted to say i feel your pain.
ds is going through the same phase.
can't imagine being pg as well.

keep repeating 'this phase WILL pass' over and over. is there any chance of palming him off on someone else to get a break for a couple of hours? it is unlikely that his behaviour will change quickly but maybe if you have a break from him you'll find it easier to deal with him.

(don't worry it'll all be ok )

Repea the mantra 'I am an adult, he is a child, this too will pass' in your head alot.

For biting/hitting I have always said 'NO hitting/biting' in a very firm voice whilst looking them straight in the eye and then walking off.

For tantrums ignore, ignore,ignore. (I have ignored a two year old lying on the floor screaming in Starbucks 'cos her shortbread was the wrong shape)

If you feel like hitting him just walk into another room. I have had to do that plenty of times.

There is unfortunatley no quick solution. DD2 was a biter for a long time, a bit of a shock after dd1, but she did stop eventually.

Hope some of that helps.

in same situation here, though a bit less severe. DD is 19mo and I'm due on Jan 20th (currently 36wks).

To be honest, I think some of it is because of the upcoming baby (I am less active in looking after her as its very difficult at my size now to lift and carry her and my attention is obviously focussed elsewhere and I'm pushing DP to do more with her).

Has YOUR pattern of behaviour changed too? Is he just responding to you being less focussed?

Also, with DD as she now wants to do everything on her own, I just let her until she asks for help, otherwise its tantrumville. I'll only get involved if its dangerous/we are in a hurry.

Finally with the 'attacking'..I'm currently sporting a huge chunk of missing skin under my nose where she grabbed and badly scratched my face yesterday in a bait. I think they don't understand how much it hurts but since its deliberate (and I was very angry) I did shout at her and put her on the floor and went to another room. Then I came back and had a hug and got her to say sorry. I was sorry too as I didn't mean to shout but it Bl**dy hurt!

Basically I try and treat DD as I would expect to be treated as an adult, try to give her 2 choices where I can (this OR that) so she feels she isn't being railroaded, and when all else fails, put her in her cot so both of us can cool off. Its exhausting and I hope you manage to get through it.

Good luck with number 2 and I hope you get through it as its absolutely exhausting!

They are still babies, they are learning what is what in the world and as long as you tell them NO and keep up with it, there is not a lot more you can do, It is a phase and it has a lot to do with not being able to communicate.

I feel your pain re being pregnant with a toddler, DD2 (an angel at the moment although there is plenty of time for that to change ) is 15 months and I am nearly 34 weeks pg with DD3. It is bloody hard work.

Please don't smack, it just doesn't work whatsoever, especially in a child so young. You are only going to make him think that it is okay to hit, what kind of role model would that make you to him? {sad] Not having a go by the way, I just don't see the point in smacking.

i know that smacking is not the answer..plus i think it'd kill me if i ever went down that route. Think its just the fact when i discipline him, he laughs like a drain and walks off. he just thinks its all hilarious and its at that moment I can feel my blood boil. Thanks for all your sugguestions..i need to keep focussed on the fact i'm the adult!!

I am now away to smother snoring dp who is forcing me out of my bed with his racket and blatant bed hogging!! ggrrrrrrr!!!

Clarabumps, what is he doing that is particularily annoying?