Apologies in advance for a long ramble but I am feeling quite stressed today.
I'm finding my little boy (4 next month) really hard work at the moment and just wondering if anyone has any advice or words of wisdom?
The problem seems to be mainly when he is around other children. He is pretty much fine at home. He can be very bossy and prone to kicking off if he doesn't get his own way, but we can usually nip it in the bud fairly quickly. At nursery they say he is 'an enthusiast' and very bright, but that he is a 'whirlwind' and quite unaware of his physical presence, so always tearing around (no matter how many times he is told not to run indoors etc) and often bumping into other children. At this stage, he does have 'friends' but they seem to be quiet children that he is able to boss around. He is terribly bossy at nursery / with other children and often aggressive - not out-and-out hitting etc, but pushing, snatching, refusing to wait his turn or listen to other children. He also doesn't listen to what the teachers say, really, and although they are understanding and kind, I can see that it is quite difficult for them. this might not sound that bad, but because he is very big and incredibly bright and verbal for his age, it seems much worse and I often feel ostracised by other parents, who often look at him with distaste and at me with pity
I just worry terribly about what will happen when he starts reception next year. Will he be able to settle down, make friends, concentrate, fit in etc?
I also find it personally very hard that we cant really go on playdates, meet friends with kids, take him anywhere with other children because he just goes into this completely mental, over excitable state and cannot play nicely with them. He is just manic and quite rough from the word go, and can get very silly and OTT and end up tantrumming for no real reason. It means I am always frazzled and not many people invite us out anymore .
Is this all normal? Is it my fault? . I think me and Dh are good parents - we're both hands on, gentle, patient and loving but firm when necessary. We don't let bad behaviour go - we take away privileges but also use lots of positive praise etc. It just seems like nothing works and DS never ;earns any lesson from us or at nursery - it's like he just doesn't take on board an ything we can say.
There is a side to him that is lovely - sensitive, funny, amazingly intelligent and very perceptive - but it seems buried under this really frenetic, aggressive behaviour so ,much of the time, and it is really starting to take it's toll on all of us...