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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

10 day old awake all night and won't sleep in cot...just need advice...

21 replies

Hux · 16/12/2008 13:23

We think this is normal but are going out of our minds and need help/reassurance!

Our daughter only ever wants to sleep in our arms and only during the day. The cot has magic properties and wakes her up the instant she gets near it at night. Whatever we do with her during the day or how much we feed her she seems to have no interest in sleeping at night. she will doze on us but as soon as we try and put her down she's awake again.

We think this is what everybody warned us about, 'it'll be hell for the first 4/6 weeks' but would welcome any advice!

OP posts:

Gorionine · 16/12/2008 13:28

I have not experiened this myself but a relative's little boy was sleeping all day and awake most of the night. she was told that sometimes, newborn mix day and night it did seem to sort itself out after a few weeks.

HuwEdwards · 16/12/2008 13:28

hmmm, I think they're probably right! Someone told me that if the parents sleep with the baby's blanket it will pick up the scent of them and may make a new baby settle...

worth a try?

SixSpotBurnet · 16/12/2008 13:38

It is normal - DS2 was like this, but it sorted itself after a few weeks and he was in fact the best sleeper of my three.

I don't know how you feel about co-sleeping but that is what I did with DS2 (and in fact with DS3) simply because I was too exhausted to do anything else really. Obviously you need to take care that she doesn't get overheated and that she can't slip under the bedclothes.

MustHaveaVeryShortMemory · 16/12/2008 15:51

I don't think its unusual for them to want to sleep on you at this age. But, you said cot, perhaps a moses basket would be a bit cosier? Are you swaddling - some of them like this? Just a couple of ideas but if all else fails, do you have a sling you could put her in? At least then you can sit down and relax without worrying about falling asleep and dropping her.

MrsMattie · 16/12/2008 15:55

My DD was like this until last week. She gradually started to settle for longer periods in her moses basket and is now 4 weeks old and sleeping fairly well at night (waking every 3-4 hours for a feed). We swaddle her (helps loads) and also pump her with milk in the evenings (cluster feeding, I believe it's called) to get her nice and sleepy.

It's pretty normal at this stage, by the way.

castlesintheair · 16/12/2008 16:00

You could try swaddling. Stick a hot water bottle in the cot before putting her down. Stick a bit of muslin down your bra and then put it in the cot with her. Or you could just do what I did and hold them for the first few weeks. I used to prop myself up with cushions and sleep with them on my chest. It seems like forever at the time but you will look back on it fondly

Original poster

Hux · 16/12/2008 17:17

Thanks for all the tips. Tried swaddling and she always wrestles free. Tried hot water bottle in cot (which is actually from the pram so the size of a moses basket).
Will try the other bits and thanks a lot- we just needed to know this was normal with an end in sight to keep our spirits up- you've helped a lot.

OP posts:

juuule · 16/12/2008 18:23

Have you tried swaddling tightly so that she can't wrestle free? We found that the tighter the swaddle, the better. Loose swaddling just doesn't work (or didn't for us anyway.)
If the cot is part of the pram, could you lay her swaddled in the pram and when she is asleep maybe detach the cot and move to where you want it.

ladytophamhatt · 16/12/2008 18:31

TBH if the only place she'll sleep is in my arms then thats were mine would have slept....and did!!

Up until about 7-8 weeks all 4 of mine slept on my chest, They loved it and I loved it too.

WalkinginWaynettaWonderland · 16/12/2008 18:34

I have three words for you: Grobag grobag grobag. Trust me.

littleoldme · 16/12/2008 18:41

My Ds was like this when he was born. I took the POV that if he would only sleep on one of then so be it. I'd wrap myself up in a dressing gown, prop myself up on a big pillow, take everything else off the bed and let him snuggle into me.
Swaddling helped lots too. Is it possible she has reflux and is uncomfortable on her back ? Try propping up one end of the cot.
Oh and used breast pads tucked down the side of the mattress worked magic.
That said and done - sometimes itr's just what they do. Although it feels like it will last forever.- it doesn't.
good luck!

onwardandmerrilyupward · 16/12/2008 20:08

And you know the mantra:

"sleep whenever the baby does" don't you? (obviously only works for first babies duh)

tazmosis · 16/12/2008 21:40

My dd1 was like this until about 8 weeks old, the she slept through in her moses basket - and I was up all night listening to her breath!

Try to accept its going to be like it for a a few weeks and - as Ladytophamhatt says - enjoy it!

lou031205 · 16/12/2008 22:01

If you could get hold of a bedside cot, they are magic. Extra space for the baby, but you snuggle right up along side and make her feel safe.

bananabrain · 16/12/2008 22:38

My midwife told me the reason newborn babies wake a lot during the night is because in the days of cave men it was safer for babies to cry during the night when they were safely tucked away from harm... don't know if it's true and it doesn't actually help you get any sleep... but it made me feel a bit better when I was up all night that it was entirely natural! I think they also just love the security of YOU! I did as others have said, and let baby sleep with me, so I got at least SOME sleep. With ds1 that was in bed next to me, with ds2 it was propped up on the settee. There were some long nights, but they did soon pass. Enjoy those lovely cuddles and try to let others take over for a bit so you can get a bit of sleep.

SilverSixpence · 16/12/2008 22:43

A very tight swaddle shouldn't be possible for baby to get out of. During the day I found a sling invaluable for popping on and off when DS was crying, at night he was thankfully pretty good but we used to take him in bed with us when he first woke up. Definitely sleep when the baby sleeps, i didn't do this much but felt much better when i did! Are you breast or bottle feeding?

GColdtimer · 16/12/2008 22:49

I think my DD pretty much slept in our arms/on our chest for the first month. and even now, she would sleep on me if she could and she is 2.5! She was also up a lot at night and that sorted itself out in time. We tried to make a difference between day time sleep - noisy, light, etc - and night time sleep - low lights, quiet.

it is normal but I remember someone telling me it would get easier about 6 weeks and I remember thinking I couldn't cope for another 6 nights, let alone 6 weeks so it didn't help much.

My only piece of advie would be to go with the flow at this stage, try not to worry about routines/bad habits etc and just rest when the baby does.

del1 · 17/12/2008 11:03

My lad is now 6 wks, and the past few nights has been sleeping 3 1/2 - 4 hrs. He would sleep anywhere but the moses basket at first and would only last 2 hrs. He is a bit bunged up at night, so have put two dvd boxes under each back leg of the moses basket, to make a slight angle ( s'posed to clear airways)? Also, I started to feed him more when I went to bed, and made sure I changed his nappy first, so he could drift off whilst feeding.(changing him after woke him up). Also, whilst feeding in the night try not to make eye contact, talk or have any bright lights on. Difficult, but I think it helps them to realise when day time is !? Also, try to sleep in the day.Each day I say I will, but always end up doing somthing! When will we realise that the cleaning isn't so important? Gud luck

Alibear1 · 17/12/2008 16:24

Give it some more time - DS was a nightmare for the first couple of weeks and would only really sleep on someone. We have a Nature's Nest hammock that he slept in at night and he loves because it sort of cuddles him.

He's not quite 5 months and he's only been using his cot for daytime naps for 2 weeks, prior to that his startle reflex would wake him up whenever he was put down in it and if we put him in it awake he would just yell.

cheezcurl · 17/12/2008 17:03

Was just posting about this in another thread and saying how I thought I was the only one! DD is 6.5 months old and has never managed to sleep without being held in some way. It took me a while but I have come to terms with it and although we still try to put her down every now and then, its not the end of the world and she will do it in her own time. Reading this www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.htmlmade me realise that she is not abnormal and helped me get to grips with it.

Original poster

Hux · 17/12/2008 20:18

Thanks all, it's nice to know we're not the only ones experiencing this! Last night we tried some of your suggestions and we got her sleeping in her cot between 4am and 7.30 we were sooooo pleased!

Lets see how tonight goes though!

Hux
xx

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