ds has always been a reasonable eater-slow, some messing about, some fussiness etc but all normal stuff. has never really asked for food/indicated hunger unless food in visual range
however, long period of teething/colds added to dd arrival, now 5 mo have led to a general gradual deterioration in meal times that i was beginning to find getting to me
really don't want to make a big deal out of food, want to ride out normal development control/wariness issues with serenity!
realised that playing with toys at table {a lot}, being fed was becoming the norm rather than the exception. even found both myself and dh creeping into the 'if you have some more you can have/do...' type of thing. could see ds catching on that this could be a great area to take the play the parents floor.
so.....new strategies are
no toys at table
quick slurp of water encouraged 15mins before meal, but then no water offered with meal-was filling up with this, also pouring on plate/playing with cup/water
have bought a little timer, call it 'ds's clock' which i pop on table . i then just gently tell him that we will be sitting at the table for teatime until bell goes off. usually do 15mins, but can obviously adjust if need be as we go along without him knowing
then i present food with cutlery and leave him to it. will remind him to eat once or twice if he seems extremely distracted {by his own foot, my shadow, anything at all!}i always sit with him, try to eat as well as much as possible. keep mealtimes usual happy time for a chat, little bit of interested convo about what we are having but keeping attention to eating minimal
if food eaten then mild praise, if not then just give him warning meal just about to finish, won't be anything else for the tummy. basically try to keep things the same whether eaten lots, little, rejected or not even tried
am offering main and pudding whatever is eaten-have same issues with puddings anyway
offering known liked food though not just favouites for now. small portions.
has been a week-mealtimes atmosphere returned to pleasant. coming to table fine-was beginning to resist as hates stopping playing for anything. no toys at meals-not a murmer. not asking to be fed at all. quite likes 'his' clock, but not overly focused on it.so i think it is acheiving its goal. he is eating a lot less than if fed by me while he plays, but am repeating to self he can regulate own appetite, doesn't have major food issues to suggest he won't eat when he needs to. will keep an eye on energy levels but will not worry as i throw away most of yet another meal.....
so--am i on a reasonable track? being too controlling? my mother does often suggest i expect too much from him but i see this as expecting more from myself as much as anything
will be able to ensure consistancy from all over christmas more or less, just want to have clear strategy to communicate, as mum and dad can easily get 'one spoon for granny' open wide for train' etc if i'm not clear