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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS 2yrs 9mths with violent tantrums. Naughty step or cuddles to calm down?

15 replies

Tillyblue · 14/12/2008 11:15

Just got a fat lip from being headbutted accidentally by tantruming 2 year old. Little sod.

My angel boy has turned into the demon child and is thrashing about and screaming with fury at with tantrums all the time.
All since he started playgroup 3months ago.

Which would be your choice...

a) make him do naughty step and be cross
or
b) cuddle him till he calms down?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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edam · 14/12/2008 11:24

He's 2yrs 9 months, tantrums are normal, I'm afraid. Doesn't make them any less aggravating for you, of course.

Don't think 'little sod' is fair. He didn't headbut you intentionally. So no, I wouldn't use the naughty step, that's for conscious (and serious) misbehaviour.

I learnt, eventually, to avoid putting myself within range of ds's head when he was playing rough and tumble or having a tantrum.

Guadalupe · 14/12/2008 11:31

I think it's just damage limitation with tantrums isn't it, a naughty step is a punishment for bad behaviour whereas a tantrum at two is normal and an expression of their frustrations. Try and make sure he doesn't hurt himself, or you, and let it pass. Sometimes you can avert them through distraction but other times you jusy have to ignore it. I wouldn't force cuddles either, though if he wants one then great.

roundcornvirgin · 14/12/2008 11:39

ignore it if you can. Naughty step might make it worse.

piscesmoon · 14/12/2008 11:57

I wouldn't do a naughty step, he is already beyond taking any notice. I would totally ignore him, don't enter into any discussion. When he stops cuddle him and ask him to tell you what it was all about-explain that you can't do anything when he is screaming and throwing himself around.

PinkPoinsettias · 14/12/2008 12:07

neither.... just ignore him.

let him scream it out no matter how long it takes and only give the cuddle once he's stopped screaming.... you're only putting yourself in harms way trying to hug a screaming roaring toddler.

Original poster

Tillyblue · 14/12/2008 17:35

Edam, sorry if it offended! Was meant in good humour as I have been here twice before with dd12 and dd10. But as this is first boy am noticing big difference already.
May be just character , of course, but this violence thing is getting out of hand you see.

Perhaps I should explain.
Dont mind the tantrums but its the hitting out and hurling stuff at us that has taken us by surprise.
For example he will walk in the house and chase the dog to kick it! He has thrown the cat and a small chair over the balcony and pulls dd10's hair when she is just sat playing with him.

Would you ignore this too?

OP posts:

BexieID · 14/12/2008 17:42

Sounds like my Tom who is 2.8. He's always hitting, biting or throwing something. This has been going on for months. We tell him off, put him in his cot for time out and have smacked him (he likes to kick me in the stomach when i'm changing him!) but he still does it!

MrsMattie · 14/12/2008 17:45

Ignore as much as possible, keep calm and if needs must, cuddle to help him to calm down. Naughty Step is a load of shite, especially for kids this age.

belgo · 14/12/2008 17:48

Neither - make sure he is safe, ignore him, but make sure he knows you are still there.

belgo · 14/12/2008 17:48

My children would never stay on the naughty step, or in the naughty corner.

belgo · 14/12/2008 17:49

and if I tried to cuddle one of them when they are having a tantrum, I would probably get a broken nose.

Original poster

Tillyblue · 14/12/2008 18:07

BexieID . YES!!

When I change him he grins and kicks me really hard in the stomach.

I tell him off very loudly in fierce Mum voice. Maybe he likes that?!

He will sit on the naughty step (I only do it for 2 mins obviously)and I stay where he can see me but ignore him.

Am worried he will start to hit the other kids at playgroup.

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tryingherbest · 14/12/2008 20:05

I feeling my way through this stage but I've told ds that if he feels bad he should first put his arms out to me and ask for a cuddle. He forgets but as he's about do go into one I remind him, he asks for a cuddle and that's that.

Give it a try - but only if trantrum is caught in early stages.

edam · 14/12/2008 20:09

Didn't offend me in the slightest, just thought it was a bit unfair.

I would definitely make it clear that attacking the dog or cat or a sibling is Not On. Ds is older now so I can't remember the right level for 2yos but think I'd use the naughty step for that sort of behaviour.

Original poster

Tillyblue · 14/12/2008 21:37

Tryingherbest, will try the cuddle first . Good idea.

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