I am really starting to worry that ds1 might have an eating disorder...

[noiamnot]

He has many, many allergies and anaphylaxis to dairy, nuts, eggs and possibly wheat (not going to experiment). So feeding him has always been a problem.

Last year he had a teacher who made the class watch a show on morbidly obese people and ever since then he has been eating less and less.

He picks at breakfast. His school lunch is mostly uneaten except for some rice crackers and a few bites of his soup or rice or pasta (whichever I give him that day). He comes home hungry but then just wants some crisps.

His doctor and asthma nurse have both said he is underweight. Significantly now. Anyone who sees him remarks about how thin he is.

I was very thin as a child myself but I don't know if I was that thin.

He says if he eats too much he will get fat

And he is very very picky about the food I give him. If it has a black fleck or spot, or fat or anything he deems "yucky" he won't eat it.

How old is he? Sounds like it might be the beginnings of something. I'm afraid I don't have any experience or advice, but I hope someone else can give you some useful help.

he is 10. He usually eats a good dinner and I have taken to giving him shakes after school (apple, pear, banana and rice drink mixed with flax seed oil) and he drinks those up.

How old is he? Did the teacher allow the class some kind of discussion on obesity, as in how people become obese, or how to eat healthily? Seems very irresponsible to me.

It must be very worrying for you and I'm afraid I don't know enough to offer any useful advice but I hope some other MNers can!

Sorry for repeating the age question, typing too slow tonight!

I suppose at 10, kids are becoming more body conscious and it could be something to do with that.

At least he's eating dinner, and if he's having healthy shakes as well, then he's getting nutrition from his food.

Perhaps he doesn't feel hungry first thing in the morning - can you give him something nutritious to eat at breaktime? Is his school lunch very different from his friends' because of his allergies? He might be not eating it because of peer pressure.

Does he say why he doesn't eat much at school? My DCs are a bit younger but often bring food home cos they say they didn't have enough time to eat it, or silly reasons like someone made a comment about what they were having (both have packed lunch)

I would speak to your GP. Don't want to worry you and it may be nothing but eating disorders are something that are too serious to allow to float along. He may be picky rather than anorexic but it's worth getting checked out. The earlier the better as it sounds as though he isn't eating enough whichever it is.

With EDs the best thing you can do is to seek professional help now. Even if it turns out to be just fussy eating (doesn't sound likely TBH) there is no harm in checking. Whereas the longer the wait before treatment, the more entrenched the behaviours will become and the harder to treat.

You could speak to your GP about a referral to CAMHS (Child and adolescent mental health services). Sorry you have this worry, it must be awful

he has always been conscious of "food" because of all his allergies many of which are severe and some which are life-threatening. He is also conscious of his food being "different" from everyone else's. I don't know what to do. I can't give him things to eat that will kill him....

He eats well on the weekends. Again, except for breakfast.

Are the things he eats at weekends the kind of foods that you could give him for packed lunch? Does he eat better at home because he feels more relaxed there do you think? At that age so many kids want to "fit in" and being seen as "different" might make him uncomfortable . Sorry if these are all obvious questions that you've already thought of.

I've tried but he doesn't want them. but even at home he won't eat something if it looks a certain way.....

even his cereal. I mean pieces of cereal all look the same, don't they? Well some of them don't look right to him

I would listen to your instincts and get good advice. Yes to GP, but push for a referral (it's still common for GPs to think that eating disorders only happen to teenage girls, which isn't true). I'd also contact the Eating Disorders Association helpline - I think it's now called Beat.

I developed anorexia at 12. It was years before I got proper help, and all the evidence is that the sooner it is acted on the better the chances of getting it sorted. Cure rates for younger children are good. Don't put off getting help. If you're wrong, and he doesn't have an eating disorder, it would be good to know that too.

Good luck.

I sympathise with him - I wish my parents had been as aware as you are. I didn't develop a full blown eating disorder (anorexia or bulimia) but I definitely had, and still have, issues with food which were in part caused by allergies and partially caused by me be just being picky.

If you are worried then get some help or advice.