Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

feel like i've lost my little boy...

16 replies

maisystar · 22/03/2005 20:55

at the moment ds (4 1/2) is rude, aggressive, won't do anything he is asked to do. where has my lovely little boy gone??

i smacked him tonight, i have never done this before in 4 1/2 years and feel like crap. i could have just walked out of the house.

he doesn't seem to want to cuddle me, kiss me or make any eye contact with me. (unless i have just told him off)

feel drained and

this is v unlike me and am finding it eally hard to admit to tbh

OP posts:
lavenderrr · 22/03/2005 20:58

maisystar, I don't know what advice to give excpet ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) to you, am not good at this kind of advice and hope someone can help you better than I can....love lavxxx

QueenEagle · 22/03/2005 21:09

Can you think of anything that has happened recently to trigger this behaviour? Such as starting nursery, parents arguing/splitting up, new baby, that sort of thing? Has this sort of behaviour occurred before, if so how did you handle it then?

ja9 · 22/03/2005 21:23

am so sorry maisystar. hugs to you. hope someone can give you good advice soon.

aloha · 22/03/2005 22:46

There's a "Fxxxxxx fours" thread somewhere which might, at least, make you feel less alone! Boys are notorious for this at this age, I'm told. I'm dreading it (ds is three) and hope it doesn't last.

colditzmum · 22/03/2005 22:50

Rush of testosterone, it will all get better soon. He is having a "mini-puberty", so that is probably why he is aggressive and non-communicative.

Nic04 · 22/03/2005 23:13

Maisystar, I'm also going through bursts of that with my ds at the moment (he'll be 5 in July). It seems as though he changes from day to day, one day he'll be sweet and well-behaved and the next day he'll be disobedient, obnoxious and rough. His teacher told me yesterday morning that he's been really good lately, doing what he's told, listening, playing well, etc etc. But I had a run-in with him before preschool this morning (he didn't get what he wanted & wasn't happy) and after I dropped him off to his classroom, I could see him standing there with his hands on his hips while all the other kids were sitting in a group on the floor. I just got that sinking feeling and thought, here comes that horrible 'attitude' again. Sigh... I know what it's like and you are definitely not alone with this.

Original poster
maisystar · 23/03/2005 09:28

yes it does seem like a 'mini puberty', moody and pushing me away yet needing lots of reassurance iyswim.

cheers, nice to know i'm not alone

will go and look for that thread aloha, should make for interesting reading!

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 23/03/2005 11:51

here's one My ds was like this too and is wonderful mostly now (he's 7).

WideWebWitch · 23/03/2005 11:52

He was wonderful way before 7 btw, don't think it's 3 years!

chipmonkey · 23/03/2005 12:44

Maisystar, Stepehn Biddulph has a book called "raising boys" where he describes all the ins and outs of bringing up the male species. He describes that rush of testosterone as colditzmum says. They go through phases like this but they improve again. And they always LOVE their mummies!

Lonelymum · 23/03/2005 13:12

My ds2 was a little angel until he was about 4 years old. Like you, I never had occasion to tell him off, he was bright, enthusiastic and so GOOD. I'm afraid it all went off a bit when he was about 4 and I can't say he is back to how he was even now (he is 7). Sometimes I miss the old ds2 but I have learnt to accept that he is who he is (he isn't horrible really, just not the angel he once was). I found it particularly hard yesterday when he was clearly unhappy at his new school but wouldn't accept any encouragement or support from me - almost literally pushed me away. I really hope your ds goes back to how he used to be but don't be disappointed if he doesn't: you have to see it as growing up and becoming independent I think.

dropinthe · 23/03/2005 13:19

I feel like that with my 3y ds-He became a Daddys boy very early on and hardly wants to know me and I love him so bloody much it hurts but he always pushes me away in favour of Dad. Luckily, second ds of 1 loves me to pieces and just gazes at me as if in heaven!!!

Lonelymum · 23/03/2005 13:23

Enjoy it while it lasts dropinthe and then enjoy the peace you get when dad and the boys go off to do Mummy-excluded activities!

dropinthe · 23/03/2005 13:30

Lmum-read thread arggggggggggggg!!

Hulababy · 23/03/2005 17:50

(((hugs))) Maisystar.

I know it probably doesn't help right now but try to have in the back of your mind that it is a phase and he will come out of it.

If you fancy some company to the park for a run around to get his energies out, e-mail me or give me a ring. I still have Monday and Fridays off. I have DH around at weekends - but he loves playing cricket and running around with a football if he gets the chance

Hulababy · 24/03/2005 10:42

How are you today maisystar?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page