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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Not talking yet at 21 months!

18 replies

sadieandharrysmum · 10/12/2008 22:31

My DS is 21 months.

He is loving and affectionate, however has always been a bit behind the average. I have a DD who has always been super smart and streets ahead which I think must be highlighting and underlining my worry.

My DS can say "daddy, bubble, eye, star and uhoh". I think to be truthful it is probably only myself and very close family that can understand him. He has never said mummy. Although I am quite sure he can make the "m" sound.

I have been having 3monthly reviews with my HV who says it is simply that he is a boy who is a bit slow right now but that he'll catch up.

There is something inside that makes me worry about this all the time. I don't know if it is maternal instinct or simple psychosis. Which I know mothers suffer from.
I don't know of any other children within my family circle that could not speak quite well by now.

How many people have cildren of this age who are still not speaking?
I know I can rely on you lot.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 10/12/2008 22:33

ds1 was not saying much more than your ds at that age. at 2 some of his peers were stringing 3-4 words together, he was still on signle words.

by 2 and a half I couldn't shut him up! it's like he was saving it all up until he was ready tyo use it all properly. he came out with some splendid stuff, all in context. bizarre

that said, I think mother's instinct counts for a lot, and if you are concerned then take him to the GP. if there IS soemthing wrong, and I suspect there isn;t, but if there is, then it's best to be on a list and get it sorted asap. if there isn't then you haven't lost anything

TotalChaos · 10/12/2008 22:36

If he is using those words consistently, then I would say he is talking, even though it's not many words! I wouldn't panic as it's such early days, but if you don't get a noticeable improvement in 3 months I would push for a SALT referral (SALT waiting lists can be several months long, and you can always cancel if he comes on really well in the meantime) You might find it useful to do some baby signing/sing and sign videos with him, to give him some visual cues to help him learn words.

bookthief · 10/12/2008 22:36

Ds wasn't saying much more than this either at that age. He didn't say "mummy" until 23 months (and then he didn't stop!).

He's now almost 25 months and his speech has really come on in the last 6 weeks. He has new words almost every day and has started linking them into little phrases ("no mummy, mine!" is a new favourite ).

I thought ds's speech was a little slow, but speaking to other people it seems fairly typical, as is the rapid increase in improvement after two.

Cadelaide · 10/12/2008 22:37

At 21 months all DS said was "moon".
He's 2.5 now and he talks and talks,please try not to worry and whatever you do don't compare. (Easier said than done, i know )

thatsnotmymonster · 10/12/2008 22:42

Like you my first was streaks ahead, then I had dd who could only say 'ta' at 20mths.

She is now 2yr 5mths and says things like, 'I like yoghurt first, NO actually, I like fruit pot first'

gigglewitch · 10/12/2008 22:47

has anyone looked into checking out his hearing? DD's language development suddenly stopped - turned out she had glue ear. Not hugely serious, but it delayed her whole development for a while. Suggest you head for the gp with your mum-instinct at the ready (because it's rarely wrong) and see what checks can be done. At the worst he'll get an un-necessary MOT!!
Good luck

ChasingSquirrels · 10/12/2008 22:48

mine aren't that age now, but neither talked very early, and ds2 in particular really didn't speak until way past 2. He only started getting words at around 2y3o+, at 2y7m had only put together 2 words a total of 3 times, then at 2y9m had an explosion and now at 2y10m has the language of most nearly 3yo's that I know.
In anticipation of something he often says "ohh, that be nice", today he said "ohh, that be wonderful". Not really relevant to the thread, but made me smile so much, and have no one else to share it with

Original poster

sadieandharrysmum · 10/12/2008 22:48

It means such a lot to hear from other people in the same place as us.

I am quite sure half of the mothers in the playground make stuff up or might be a bit keen on bragging. My little boy seems such the super star in his sense of humour and comedic skills. It is simply his language that I worry about.

Believe it or not he can hum the theme tunes to postman pat and balamory!! Yet not say Mummy.

I think I might try to get a referal if it takes months.

Thanks.

OP posts:

mumof2222222222222222boys · 10/12/2008 22:51

DS1 didn't say anything other than car untl he was 2...now he is definitely above average with speech and vocab...he is 4 and 3 months. DS2 who is just 23 months now, is massively ahead of his brother...he is stringing words together and talking really well - humour and all sorts, "No mummy. It NOT fair."

I don't say this to boast... if it had been the other way round, I would probably have been paranoid. If you really do think there may be a medical issue, by all means pursue it - but I would be pretty sure you've got nothing to worry about.

Original poster

sadieandharrysmum · 10/12/2008 22:55

By the way the theme tunes thing. I don't park him in front of the tv!! It is just that my daughter loves to get in from school, get changed, have some milk and chill with the tv for an hour. It helps them wind down together and helps me put dinner together without too much disturbance.

They both love Night Garden but it clashes with bath time so we have to tape it.

My poor little DS hs just started having awful tantrums too. He can be quite violent and he bangs his head. I am sure it is through frustratuion with not being able to adequately express himself.

Thank you for the comment about hearing. He does listen to me and will do as he is asked. Sometimes!! So I assume he doesn't have any hearing problems. He does get waxy ears though.

OP posts:

Original poster

sadieandharrysmum · 10/12/2008 23:06

The other thing I wanted to add was that he doesn't attend any toddler groups. I also work part time and rely on family to help care for my little boy at some points during the week. I really wonder now if that has had an impact on his speach.

Maybeing I should start to take him to a singing group or something?

Or migh that make his frustration worse if he is not as capapble linguistically as the other toddlers?

He loves to be read to and loves to point at thgings to hear their title or name yet he seems almost unwilling to vocalise.

It's like it's a step that he just does not have the confidence to take.

OP posts:

Cadelaide · 10/12/2008 23:10

He's fine I'm sure, no need for groups and stuff, just give him a few months.

He sounds a lot like DS actually, who would hum the "Thomas" theme rather than use words to ask for his favourite book.

he's saving it up, just you wait.

Original poster

sadieandharrysmum · 10/12/2008 23:20

That is just what he does. He hums postman pat to get at his pat book.

Thanks guys. Going to have a large glass of wine. ( god it must be at least 4 units worth call the health police)check my tiddlers and go to bed. Thanks for your help guys.

OP posts:

ChristmasFairySantAsSLut · 10/12/2008 23:29

Es didn't really talk until almost 4, but we tried to raise him bilingual, gaveup and voila he spoke

ms, was about 2 when he really started to have a proper vocubulary, before that odd words, etc... he is the most talkative kid i know, indeed he doesn't ever stop talking and shouting, lol
ys....quieter than ms but he started building a good vocubulary between 2 and 3 years of age....

so for us the boys are a bit later was kinda true....try not to worry about it, if he is otherwise developing fine....it just might be the way he is...and he will get there...at what age did you and your partner start talking properly, do you know...sometimes that can give you an indication...

wrinklytum · 10/12/2008 23:36

Sounds fine,believe me!I have a nearly non verbal 3 yo whose repertoire is "CA" (Cat) and "CA" (car) .SZhe has recently started babblingIt will come.As long as he has lots of babble etc.With ds he was a early talker but late walker.It just cmes togetheer suddenly.Theymake lepsand ounds from 2-3 if they are neurologically typical.Don't worry.i bET in 6 months you return to this thread and smile

wrongsideof40 · 10/12/2008 23:37

Hi , I think it sounds like your DS will make his 24 month milestones - they only need 5 words i think - my nephew didn't make that and now has grommets at 3 1/2 and he is coming along but slowly - i think my point is that there is not a lot you can do about the situation - chances are - he will be fine - but if he does have a delay then he does and you will deal with absolutely fine - so try not to worry - hope the wine is working !!!!

mummyofboys · 11/12/2008 09:14

My ds2 24 month check up was awful. He was gabbling away (only I understood him). The HV was not happy and wanted him referred to a speech therapist. We eventually got the appointment when he was 2.8. After the assessment she reported he had "moderate" delay with immature sounds.
Today he is 5 and although sounds a bit immature compared to his peers, has a great vocabulary and chats like mad.

Don't despair. However, if there is anything else in your gut you feel is 'different' or not quite 'right', then go with it and get it checked out. You will know the difference of paranoia and a real concern.

Good luck!

lingle · 11/12/2008 20:42

SadieandHarrysmum.

Look, there is a huge subset of kids speaking at his level at his age. This subset does include kids who will go on to have real difficulties with speech. But the majority of the kids in this subset will self-resolve.

I think you need to find an outlet for your worries. Would you consider doing some work to make sure that your communication techniques with him are as good as they could be? There is a lovely, non-scary, inclusive practical book called "It Takes Two to Talk" published by an organisation called the Hanen Foundation. It's my bible. It would help you to make sure you are "tuning in" rather than coaching or doing other non-productive things. I cannot recommend it enough, both for its quality and for its ability to refocus your energies on to constructive action without disruption to your family life. Most of the techniques look like common sense but my husband and I found DS2's frustrations eased quickly after we subtly adapted our style.

If it doesn't work for you, then you have more ammunition if you go back to the profs.

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