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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Has anyone experienced real rage from their 8 yr old boy?

13 replies

girltalk · 10/12/2008 19:51

My DS (age 8)has recently started getting really angry & arguing about everything. E.g. Homework is a major trauma and he gets in such a rage with me. I've seen him cross he can't have his own way but this is real rage, screaming he hates me, threatening to hit me & even running out of the house. We can't figure out if it's a phase, hormones or what. Anyone had anything similar?

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GoodWilfToAllMN · 10/12/2008 20:00

And it has only started recently? Mine's been doing it since he was 18 months old.

But yes, 8-9 has been particularly trying. I reckon it's pre-pubescent growth hormones or summat. And wanting more independence but not being quite ready for all the things he things he can do...

We alternate (crap parents) between lots and lots of infuriated rules; and leaving him to take responsibility for things. I have to say - on the whole - the latter works best. If he doesn't do his homework, he faces the consequences at school; isn't dressed, we leave without his shoes on etc...

Harsh but stops the constant interventions from us which would then explode because he didn't want to be told what to do.

He has mostly just got on with stuff (except having baths, which I still have to force )

Original poster

girltalk · 10/12/2008 20:10

Oh don't get me wrong he's always been a stubborn bugger - he used to scream until he threw up in his cot at bedtime! It's just lately he seems to argue black is white just to push me. Last weekend he went on and on & hubby & I stayed very calm (can't often manage this)& he just kept uping the ante. He was screaming with rage which seemed to get worse because I flat refused to argue or shout. We jsut kept asking his to please calm down & go to bed.

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frannikin · 10/12/2008 20:43

My 7yo charge does this a lot, except apart from threatening to hit he actually does.

I've implemented behaviour plans based on marbles which get deducted for shouting and being physically violent. He gets marbles for doing what he's told the first time and doing things without a paddy.

It is working...but I haven't worked out what caused it.

Much sympathy.

Original poster

girltalk · 10/12/2008 21:02

Thanks - nice to know we're not the only ones. You do start to wonder what you've done to deserve this little ball of fury!

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cory · 10/12/2008 22:35

My brother was like this: he's grown into a perfectly respectable and well adjusted adult.

Dd had touches of it, though this was admittedly to do with a lot of trauma that happened at that time (still have the scar where she sank her teeth into my hand aged 9). She is not in any way a difficult or unreasonable child now, at age 12.

peasouper · 11/12/2008 18:49

You're not the only ones. We also have a constantly furious 8yr old who also swears and screams the house down.The hardest thing is knowing how to get him to calm down - he does not seem to be in control of himself at these times. It's horrible!

Original poster

girltalk · 11/12/2008 21:41

That's the bit that get's me too. He just seems so out of control no amount of asking him to calm down, time out, confiscating belongings, banning tv, etc. gets through. In fact the other day he only stopped when, I'm ashamed to say , I broke down & yelled then cried with frustration.

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threewisemonkeys · 15/12/2008 09:51

Help! Any more advice on this one?

DS1 is the same and I've just got back from another infuriating school run, looking for some advice as I'm at the end of my tether with his constant arguing.

brainfreeze · 15/12/2008 10:59

What's he like at school?

clareey · 16/12/2008 06:57

hi does anyone have any tips,my 7 year old son keeps waking up early every morning ie: 5am, 5.30am and won't go back to sleep. He goes to bed between 7.30pm-8pm and has no trouble getting to sleep and doesn't wake during the night.Both of us just getting really exhausted and ratty at getting up so early every day!!

katierocket · 16/12/2008 07:45

Yes, DS1 is like this. I actually feel sorry for him when it happens (well after I've got over wanting to lock him in his room!) because it's genuinely as though he can't control it at all. I think teaching them some strategies for coping with rage is good.

sicksantadenier · 16/12/2008 08:09

yes, ds2 like this, gets irrationally angry at things, really explodes

quite scary, where does it come from?

sicksantadenier · 16/12/2008 08:12

clareey, I've got the opposite, ds2 won't go to sleep, he can last till half ten before finally sleeping and is ten awful the next day

you have my sympathy

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