2.4 yr old driving me insane.

[nickytinseltimes]

I am at teh end of my tether.

Bit of background - we are under a lot of sterss as we have to sell up (long story). I am a SAHM and we do go out and about a lot, but we are having to watch every penny so not much to do that doesn't need money in winter. Hence, we are at home a fair bit atm.

He is going through the bosy stage atm. He will not play alone even for 2 minutes. I must be involved. He is very clingy.

I cannot stand it much longer. When the grandparents take him for a walk (and I am so grateful thaat they do!) I don't even rerlax because I dread him coming home.

He generall sleeps fine, but I am constantly worried about him waking up so am half awake all night listening.

Help?!

Oh, I should point out that I do adore him to bits!

He is just pushing it so, so much

you sound depressed tbh

I think I am a bit down probably.
I have been proper depressed in the past but this feels different iyswim?

You do sound stressed and exhausted. You need a break - can you get a day off?
Have to be quick but suggestion (as always) is to go out. Get out in the morning, take a packed lunch if you need to , and go somewhere. Go to the park and wear DS out, go to the library and let him hunt out some books while you read the paper, brave a toddler group.
I find it hard to be at home with my kids all day and by 4pm am ready to climb the walls. Go out. Also don't be afraid to set him up with an activity and tell him that you are having mummy's time now and he has to play by himself. Then have a lunch break or put the TV on and give yourself a break. Don't feel guilty, you need a rest.
Can you confide in the grandparents and ask them to take him for a day out and then get some sleep?
Also, if this is your first, by 3 years old he will be a different child. honestly.

Agree with smallorange; it won't seem possible but he will change so quickly, this is not forever. Plus, when he hits 2 yrs 9 months you will be entitled to five mornings or afternoons for him at pre-school and this will give you both a healthy break from eachother; count down the days on a calendar if it would help!!!

The thing is he sounds like an utterly normal child, this age is SO hard; all I can suggest is not coping alone but calling in all the help you can. Get DH to have the day off or something if possible, get the GPs to have him for the day...one thing that I found de-stressing was knowing when they would be back; rather than just saying "can you take him out for a walk" it might be better to say "can you take him out till 1pm" and then you know what time you've got.

With any night waking, take turns with DH so that you know you are only on duty every other night. Then it's not always you cowering and anxious that he might wake.

DS is 2.6 and the way I survive is having something on each morning: so music, swimming, pre-school, visiting friends etc. Then I actively plan additional activities - craft stuff, going for a muddy walk, going for a walk by torchlight, soft play, day out with friends. I even do the cooking with him - it takes twice as long but it keeps him entertained and focused and gets the job done. If he really can't help I get him "washing up". Things like garden centres, or just popping to the shops to choose some apples - all take time and are entertainment for DS.

Also with regards to the bossiness I say "I decide what I say/do" and if he continues bossing I walk away and say "I will only play when you stop ordering me what to do". Follow through - he's now a lot less bossy and knows if he tries it he loses his playmate.

Some excellent ideas.

Many thanks.

I am really tired and run down which is making me feel worse tbh.

Hi Nicky

he is probably clingy because you are stressed and he feels insecure... that probably doesnt sound very helpful as it may make you feel more stressed (sorry) but is important to understand that his behaviour is able to change dependent on how you treat him.

Can you find a friend that you can have a regular child swap with ( morning a week or something)

It is very stressful sometimes having a little one all day on your own. He is very young still, but my DS1 was a real handful at that age but is a delight now (as he was then iyswim!) he is now 3.2.

I dont play with mine all the time, I do for a set time and then go slightly insane and have to have some turn off time. what sort of things does he like?

Have you tried 'washing up' at the sink, playdough (can make it if skint. loads better), getting out (Park/museum/pet shop/friends houses/) making bubbles (water/washing up liquid/whisk), is their anything you like doing ie - crafty stuff/jigsaws etc choose things you like to do together helps.

good luck, it will get easier..promise

Can he join a playgroup from when he's 2.5, just afer Xmas I'd guess? My local one is £3 a 2hr session and worth every penny for my sanity. I love both my boys to bits but love my sanity too. Its so great to be able to hang out the washing, go to the toilet, do a quick shop on my own occassionally. Means I enjoy the hours together more.

I remember the 9 month run-up to starting nursery as absolutely exhausting with DD1. They just need more from everyone. They want a social life, they are curious about the world and want to be independent but are still too little. When she was three she started nursery and everything improved, she appreciated me alot more and was stimulated and frankly exhausted by her morning sessions. This is a really difficulot age.