First baby - worried about his sleeping but am I being stupid?

[ThisIsBloodyHardWork]

I haven't been on here before but seem to have got myself in a mess about how much my baby is napping in the day. He is 4.5 months old and hasn't really fallen into any kind of a routine - we did try to Gina Ford him and it kind of worked a bit but I just felt tied to the house and so we tried to be a bit more laissez faire ... but contrary to our expectations, he hasn't "found his own pattern" which I am finding really stressful. he is bottle fed and wakes up once in the night for a feed, it could be any time between 1 and 5.30 that he wakes. Apart from that he sleeps very well at night, goes to bed between 6 and 7 and gets up between 6 and 7. In the day, however, I feel like he isn't getting enough sleep (I have bought ALOT of sleep books!) as he gets 3 naps of about 40 minutes at best. If I go out and he's in his pram or baby carrier, though, he sleeps much less than this. He seems generally cheery and seems to be developing fine (as far as I can work out!) but somehow I have become obsessed with how little he naps and am worried he ought to be able to sleep in longer "blocks". Is this something that develops naturally or should I be doing more to encourage him? We have tried the No Cry Sleep solution and healthy sleep habits, happy child, and the Ferber book, Baby Whisperer ... basically I'm looking for reassurance that this will sort itself out as I'm in a state about it and all my many books seem to say that he needs much more sleep in the day than he's getting

Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading if you've got this far.

please don't worry. easier said than done i know. and with all those books you have i'm not surprised you're stressed! they're all very different approaches.

my dd is now 2.7, she sleeps 7pm til 7.45am no problem. when she was your ds's age she used to sleep 9 til 6 with wakings every 3 hours at night. her day naps were only 2x 30mins! she stopped sleeping in the day before she 2. just not a day sleeper!

it doesn't mean they'll have problems later with sleep.

thing is, they're ALL different.

hello Bloodyhardwork!

It sounds as though your DS is developing a bit of a routine, albeit a different one to those recommended by the "helpful" baby manuals. He obviously has a good bedtime routine, and gets a long stretch of sleep at night.

my DD was always a catnapper, preferring 3 shorter sleeps to two longer ones. If he's not grumpy due to being tired, then I wouldn't worry about it.

Some children are just not natural nappers. My own DD has just given up napping at a very young age, but sleeps at night so I'm trying to count my blessings .

Please, please don't worry about it! All babies are different and all the books talk crap when they say they need a certain amount of sleep. The only time you need to worry is if your baby isn't happy, or healthy. In that situation, you try and work out what it might be and, yes, it might be not sleeping much. But babies are programmed to survive - they don't need us to make them sleep, although they do sometimes need help to get to sleep. My first baby had regular daytime naps but my second, third and fourth have random naps - catnaps, long sleeps, whatever they can manage. Nap in the car, in the sling, cuddled on the sofa. With older siblings, they don't get the chance for naps at set times of the day for set amounts of time and they still survive - in fact they've all three thrived . Please try to stop worrying about sleep, and just enjoy your darling baby - live your life and baby will fit in.

Chuck the books, they'll drive you mad! I remember that feeling so well - was convinced dd (who was a real catnapper until about 7 months) was going to suffer because of it. Remember, your baby hasn't read the books.

40 mins is the natural daytime sleep cycle - waking after that is so common. Around 7 months dd got the hang of longer daytime sleeps but continued to be a real pest at night. It sounds like your ds has got nights sorted which is great.

The main frustration for me with short naps was that it made it so hard to get anything done - so I totally sympathise with you, but don't worry about your ds, he sounds fine and dandy.

Thanks for your replies - that does reassure me a little. I guess I'm also kinda worried about what will happen when he goes to nursery/childminder when I go back to work full time in April (WAH!) - will they expect him to be in a routine and sleep for long periods at set times and stuff? As it is, when he will sleep he seems to need to be in a quiet, dark room, he is too interested in what's going on if he's out and about. Also, in order to help him to get off to sleep, he has a dummy - it seems to really trigger sleep for him, but I worry about "dependence" as well.
I sound like a loon, don't I - I do realise this!

Don't worry about it, lots of babies have short naps for quite a while. Their natural sleep cycle is 45 mins long, so they tend to wake up after this. DD didn't sleep longer than 30-40 minutes until about 9 months I think. Just go with the flow, as long as he's developing fine and happy you're doing great

re nursery -

I'm sure you will be able to find a nursery with a quiet, dim sleeping area. my DD's nursery had this, as did the others I saw.

I was worried about my DD sleeping at nursery as she always like to be cuddled to sleep. the staff reassured me they would still be able to do this, and on calling into the nursery at odd times I would often find staff rocking a baby off to sleep.

Thanks all! That does help. I'll stop twisting myself in knots about it. Hopefully the weird night waking times will settle down eventually ... he is super cheery when awake, and is doing things like practising to try and roll over and so on, which I think is about right for his age, so I should probably just save myself the angst and get on with it!

This sounds exactly like my baby and me! in fact the only time we are both stressed is when I try to make her have a long lunchtine nap as the books suggest!! thanks to all the commenrs here think will just continue as we are!!!

DS1 catnapped 30 minutes at a time during the day until he was 6 months and weaned, then slowly he started sleeping longer and longer during the day until he eventually did the magical 2 hour lunchtime sleep . As long as your lo is happy during the day and not overtired and ratty then you've got nothing to worry about. hth

Don't panic! When my son had 3 naps, he regularly had 40mins, when he dropped a nap, they got longer and now (at 13 months) he often has 2 hours, sometimes even longer.

Don't worry about nursery, they'll be experts in getting babies to sleep. My son also has a dummy, and at home we make his room dark and tiptoe around during his naps but it's much noisier and brighter at nursery and he still manages at least an hour most days. They should work round his routine too. My DS is in a room for 1-2 year olds who just have a nap after lunch but if any of them need a nap in the morning too they just take them to the baby room.

I would try GF but modified so the naps are done outside. I found DS did fall asleep being jogged along in his buggy. otherwise I followed GF.

If he's still waking at night I would consider giving his last feed at midnight, just to try to get him through to say 6-7 am...