3 year old hitting

[emmymum]

Hello,

I am new to this site but was hoping to get some advice about what to do about my daughter who is just 3. She started hitting me a few months ago and has now moved on to kicking and throwing things too when in a temper and doesn't get what she wants.

I put her in time out and am very firm that this isn't acceptable but sometimes it is very hard to keep calm and not get angry! She is lovely and fun (and very good) most of the time but gets easily frustrated and cross - it is making me a bit nervous to be with her in case she hits me and I feel it is dominating things between us at the moment. Does anyone have any advice on what to do and is this normal or should I be looking to take her to a child psychologist?!

Sounds VERY normal to me - both of mine have been through hitting phases. DS is just 3 and is trying the hitting thing again at the moment.
We have a zero tolerance policy and ANY action that hurts someone else on purpose results in time out (for other stuff they get warnings first) I TRY to stay calm, put him on the step, tell him why and remind him that 'we don't hurt people in this family'. I'm hoping he gets the message soon as he is usually lovely too. It seems to be a(nother) phase where they are learning the boundaries and therefore testing them.

Sounds like you are a bit unsure about it all and your DD will probably be picking up on that. Might be worth talking to your HV for some ideas if she is one of the sensible ones.

Oh another one here

dd is 3 in January and has recently started hitting me in temper

TBH first time she did it, I smacked her I then realised this was not the way to go about it

Now its zero tolerance, naughty step for 3 mins, no treats such as sweets or balamory

Its tough tough tough.
Thinking about it, she has not done it for a few days, so maybe we are getting over it

Try to chill, forget the child psychologist, its normal behaviour (hopefully)

If you find putting her in time out difficult, then leave her where she is (providing it's relatively safe) and move yourself somewhere else telling her that you do not like being hit/kicked as it hurts and you will come back when she is ready to play nicely. Then go and make a cup of tea and take a deep breath (or two) and a few well earned minutes of peace, before popping your head round the door and asking quite calmly if she's ready yet?
It will pass, particularly if she is not getting any attention from you for it. It is very normal (albeit very trying) behaviour

Just wanted to say thank you so much for all your advice and kind words, it is so good to know I am not alone with this. I know I have to teach her to manage her own emotions but sometimes this is hard when I can't always manage my own!!! I will keep on putting her in the naughty place and I am sure it will stop eventually - i think I just keep flashing forward to see her doing it at 13 which hopefully is not going to happen!