Natural consequences, punishment, discipline

[cuppa]

Dh is victorian dad
I am too soft.

I realise we need a middle ground
Dh is constantly calling for punishment

I hear all the time about natural consequences, but I often don't see how this works.

eg last night the boys were in the bath and put blue bubble bath on the flannel and threw it round, so the whole room was soaking wet and covered in blue splashes (which have stained the walls)

I made them clear the entire room, and told them now they have to have showers not a bath. But dh was furious and made them also go to bed without a story (aged 8 & 5 btw)

Just got mail form school saying ds called girl on the bus a 'slut' & 'whore', both school & I sure he doesn't actually know what words mean. But what is the natural consequence of this (other than the girl smacking him one?)

I do think I need to get firmer, but still feel maybe dh too firm. Doens't really like supernanny tbh. Blimey, being a parent seems to be getting harder the older they get.

Any tips oh wise ones?

only quick as I am working, but often a good 'natural consequence' angle is the 'you're behaving childishly so we will treat you like a child' one, which can cover anything from early bedtime to you escorting him to the school gate.

We try to use what would happen if you were a grown-up (you broke that, so you will either go without or replace it, either with pocket money or by selling something of your own)
Or like MrsB says 'If you can't do X properly, then you can't do X at all/unsupervised.
You made the mess, you clean it up.
DD cut holes in her school jumper the other day and I asked for some good consequences, they ranged from making her fix it, leaving it so she looked messy (but she gives not a fig about that so not appropriate for her !) and speaking to her teacher so she realises that it is not acceptable at school to look messy,

Also, try getting the book 'How to talk so children listen and how to listen so children talk' it is based around natural consequence rather than punishment and humiliation.