Dummy Cold Turkey

[Harriet11]

Hi

I want to give hope to anyone who is thinking about giving up the dummy.

I was in a right pickle. My ds (5 months old) was waking every hour in the night because the dummy had fallen out of his mouth. Getting him to stay asleep in the day was also a problem for the same reason. I was exhausted, distraught and starting to get very angry due to extreme sleep depravation.

So I decided to go cold turkey. I threw all the dummies in the bin and decided never to go back. In order to get him to sleep I used the 'spaced soothing' technique as described in 'Baby Secrets' by Jo Tatum. It's basically going in (only when they really need you to) and shhhing with your hand on their chest. If they don't settle, pick them up, walk round with them, do whatever it takes, but don't use the dummy, and put them down before they fall properly asleep. You do this after 1 min, then 2 min, 3 min... up to 5 mins in between crying fits.

I thought it was gonna be hell, but it wasn't that bad. It only took 3 days for him to forget about the dummy... and this is the real reason why I'm writing - he slept from 7.30pm till 6.30am last night!! I am so shocked and pleased. I know it might not last but it's the most sleep I've had in 6 months!

To go from waking every hour to sleeping through the night in 1 week is amazing. Of course, it might not be anything to do with me removing the dummy in such a cold-hearted way, but the coincidence is too strong!!

If you're thinking about getting rid of the dummy - do it!! I swear I thought I wouldn't be able to cope, but I did and I am much happier this morning than I was last Monday morning.

Good luck

xxx

its great it worked

now did anyone else think this thread was about doing a 'dummy run' of cooking an xmas turkey

just me? oh dear!!!

Fantastic well done you and LO.

Wish I'd have done it sooner, my DS is 2.5YO and this is his first day without it

Hoping he goes aswell as you did as Ive heard it can be MURDER!

My LO is 5 months, i really really neeed to get rid of the dummy as I too am putting in back in umpteen times a night, not only that but I'm also having to soothe her off to sleep/stop her pulling the dummy out until she is asleep.

It's driving me crazy, however I have a 23 month old too who will wake up when the baby inevitably screams, which I'm dreading as my DH supports me giving it up now - but come 3am in the morning when he is having to deal with DD1 being woken up i KNOW he will tell me to start using it again.

The broken sleep all round can't be a good thing.

Harriet11 - is it worth getting the book or is the spaced soothing just as you've described?

Thank you!!! Dd is 6mo on Thursday and I always said she would only have a dummy for 6 months.

I am going to give your idea a go. Fingers crossed it works for us

Jingle, I'm with you there, ds2 is 2.4yo. He is sooo dummy dependant he'll speak with his dummy in his mouth too. Will attempt chilly turkey tomorrow with you.

Well done Harriet11 and your LO!

DD is 3.8 and sent her dummies to the sleep fairies for the babies on Sunday. She chose a Dora puzzle as a reward. Also, on Monday morning she came downstairs to find a card from Father Christmas telling her well done and that Rudolph is very proud of her too

Don't know if this might help jingleMAMADIVAsbells and Grublin?

Thanks Missy, he knows the fairies have his dummies when he's miss places them
Will gather them up in a little bag and leave them for the fairies in return for a little something nice
He's not had his dummy since about 9.15 this morning and has only asked a few times.

That's good. Last night was worse than Sunday, she did cry and I felt like a rotten mummy!

She soon settled to sleep though, even if she was on my knee instead of in her bed.

Good luck!

we gave up dummy at 4 months but got rehooked recently as my dd had an operation and i just wanted to give her all the comforts possible during that time.

now she's totally recovered and today is day 1 of no dummy (and no bf to sleep).

its not as bad as last time (which wasn't as bad as i thought either).

for her morning and lunchtime nap, she cried for 20mins with me going in every 5 months to kiss her face and shush her a little.

in between, she gets showered in love and cuddles and play!

its not nice hearing your baby cry a little but helping them learn to sleep well without having to wake for a dummy fix can only be a good thing IMO.

Hi sunshine17

Sorry I haven't got back to you earlier. I also have a 2 year old daughter so it's near impossible to get on the computer.

I don't reckon it's worth getting the book. I'll type out what it says.

Wait until you are sure your baby is crying and not just grizzling or unwinding

Wait about a minute

Go to his cot, keep lights low

Say 'shhhhhhhhh'

Stroke his soothing point between the eyes gently from his forehead to the end of his nose

If he doesn't settle, rest the palm of your hand on his chest to make him feel secure

Switch on his lullaby (if he has one)

Leave as soon as you hear his cries soften - you must leave his side - don't be tempted to stay and watch him fall asleep

If your baby is still unsettled, wait until you are sure he is crying, then wait 2 minutes. Go into him and follow the steps above

Then do the same after 3 min, 4 min and at a maximum of 5 min (or less if you find it too difficult)

Keep doing this until eventually your baby falls asleep by himself

If at any time your baby becomes agitated or upset, shorten the space between your visits

If at any stage the soothing techniques don't work, pick him up, cuddle and comfort him until he clams, but don't let him fall asleep in your arms. Put him down awake as soon as he is calm

OK this is me again now... I have to say the shhhing didn't work for a while. I ended up picking him up and walking round the room with him quite a lot. But I always put him down before he was asleep. It was VERY FRUSTRATING when he inevitably started crying as soon as I put him down, but I stuck with it, and picked him back up until he was calm again, then put him back down... I must have done this 5 or 6 times each time he went for a nap and it nearly sent me mental. But, every time he fell asleep on his own, I gave myself a mental 'high 5'.

It did take me 45 mins to get him to sleep once - it nearly sent me over the edge but I looked at it this way - 'There's no point in me shoving a dummy in now, after all my hard work. He will fall asleep eventually. It's just taking a bit longer this time'.

That's why it's a good idea to throw ALL the dummies away. If you haven't got them, then you can't be tempted to use them.

It is ROCK HARD but once you start, there's no point in going back, cos the alternative is sleepless nights for god knows how long.

I was also really scared about the nights cos my 2 year old is prone to waking up, but I made a deal with my husband - I'd deal with our baby if he dealt with our toddler. I think she only woke up a couple of times. I was surprisingly not that bad!

This week, he has slept from 7pm till 6.30am for 2 nights, then last night he woke at 5.30am, but I setttled him and he went back to sleep till 7.15am. Honestly, 2 weeks ago it was more like this... bed at 7, awake at 9, 11, 1, 2.15, 3.20, 4.30, 5.50 then 7am.

My life has completely changed! Do it for your sanity. You can do it sister!!!!!

GOOD LUCK xxxx