7 year old daughter...difficult child or panic attacks???? Help, Sorry v.long

[techpep]

My daughter has always been quite difficult, she is very bright and always needs stimulating, staying in for a day is not an option. The worry i have is i have always thought that she has just had tantrums for a very long time and i was doing something wrong, but something happened during the summer that made me think there was more to it. We were on the beach and a seagull pooed on her, she was under a towel so it didnt touch her, the car was parked just behind us, she got up, cried, screamed, shouted....by which point i had run out of patience and got into the car and refused to get out again until....again screaming told me she neede the toilet, ran to the toilets where she was sick and had diarrheoa-only after this did she calm down, but still remained in the car for the rest of the day. Since then, she has joined the school choir and before each performance seems to behave badly and have upset tummy, also changes in routine cause the same problems. Should i be seeing a doctor about it or i am over-reacting???

Do you have any other children?

I must admit, being pooed on by a bird leaves me feeling violated - it's like someone spitting on you.

Haha, I know...its not nice but because she reacts sooo loudly and dramatically i find it really difficult to offer sympathy and tend to react with annoyance/frustration, which then leaves me feeling so guilty. I have a son aged 4.

My ds1 always makes a HUGE fuss when he hurts himself, occasionally hurling himself to the floor and rolling around in apparent agony! And i too, i am ashamed to say, find it difficult to feel sympathetic because of the amount of noise he makes! He is 11 now and I must admit the incidents are much fewer.

I do sit down with him calmly and explain that I find it difficult to comfort him when he makes so much fuss!

I have to say that my dh is just as bad - must be the 3 years of drama he did at uni.....

Sounds like she's one of those people who get nervous tummy. We're the same in our family; any nerves at all and you're running for the loo! I think the best thing would be to give her some strategies that work for her to help her with her anxieties; camomile tea, worry beads, relaxation technques, relaxation CD's, Yoga, breathing exercises, anything that you think might work to help her. She might benefit from having other things to focus on when she's nervous.

I totally know what you mean about your sympathy evaporating when they react with such drama. I find the same with a friend of mine; it's awful, you feel so hard faced but as I say your sympathy just evaporates. If you can see someone trying to 'bear' something or biting back the tears, you rush to sympathise!

Can't advise, as I am still struggling with this, but I do think it would be a BIG favour to her as a person if you can find a way to make her realise that if she can react differently she will get a better response from people.