xp moved out about three weeks ago after several months of being depressed, off work and deciding he didn't love me anymore but not doing a lot about it. During that time he was pretty distant from ds (4 1/2)didn't have a lot of patience for him. since xp moved out ds's behavior has really deteriorated. My mum stayed for a week and he was quite physically aggressive towards her at times and at best for the week totally ignored her or was obnoxious and rude (he normally loves spending time with Grandma). she felt he was like a totally different child. This evening following a bit of joking about with his Uncle as he was leaving the house ds has spat in his face and he seems to be saying things to people to test them out eg saying to grandad he want's a new grandad when asked what he wants for xmas and that his other grandad is his first grandad. For the first time he's started saying he hates me and the usual tantrums seem to intensify in how angry he gets and trying to hit, kick, bite when he doesn't get his own way. He's demanding things and trying to control everything. A lot of this behaviour has been out of the blue when he may have been perfectly reasonable just before any incident. He's also increasingly anxious and has become more shy and is quite clingy to me where he may have been more adventurous before. I know he must be confused/angry and maybe feeling insecure about what's happened and that he hasn't had any control over it and I've desparately tried to do things in the 'right' way to make it easier for him and xp and I are on friendly terms - he stays with xp three nights a week but I really don't know how to handle this behaivour particuarly when its aimed at other people.