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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

7yr old who can't be near anyone who is eating.

25 replies

MincePirate · 02/12/2008 21:55

Hi, just posting about my mate's dd. This is a problem that started about 3 yrs ago. She first noticed that her dd became really upset when she saw another kiddy with food round her mouth. It's slowly developed from there. Her dd would be sick if she smelt a horrible smell too. Now it's got to the point where her dd cannnot face others in an eating situation. She will sometimes be sick if she sees someone's mouth open with food in it, or any crumb on someone's mouth.

I spoke to my friend about it this evening, as she was telling me about them going to a garden centre cafe at the weekend and her dd got really upset. Yet her dd also said that she didn't mind eating at the local pool tho. I suggested that she was telling her that maybe she feels comfortable thinking about a public place that she has eaten at successfully before with no sickness.

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gigglewitch · 02/12/2008 22:02

maybe this is one for a conversation with the child's school - if it is going to cause her massive problems at school lunchtimes, then perhaps a referral to child psychology services?

Original poster

MincePirate · 02/12/2008 22:04

ah my friend's dd is HE, so doesn't have to sit in a larage scale environment at lunchtimes. She goes to a small group.

anyones heard of or dealt with this sort of thing? Obv my friend has been hoping that her dd would grow out of it but its getting more and more invasive, and has just got worse over time.

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Original poster

MincePirate · 02/12/2008 22:25

...

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Original poster

MincePirate · 03/12/2008 16:09

any advice out there? experience and the like?

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Original poster

MincePirate · 03/12/2008 18:40

bump

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CharCharGaboriaInExcelsisDeo · 03/12/2008 18:42

I would say she probably needs to take her to the gp. Maybe some counselling or something would help.

MaryBeWaiting · 03/12/2008 18:42

Does she have any other developmental issues? Has something happened that triggered this?

Original poster

MincePirate · 03/12/2008 18:45

my friend can't pinpoint any major issues, or recall anything specific when it started. She really thought it was 'one of those things'

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Marne · 03/12/2008 18:46

It sounds like a sensory issue, my dd has simalar issues (dd1 has aspergers). I think she should take her to her GP.

MaryBeWaiting · 03/12/2008 18:50

I have Asperger's too. I can't stand hearing people chew their food, or seeing their food when they are chewing. Plus a few other sensory issues.

ScummyMarx · 03/12/2008 18:50

Can she eat with her family?

Original poster

MincePirate · 03/12/2008 19:53

she was eating ok with her family, but it's got worse with them too. I must admit, when she was younger she really had alot of temper problems, was extremely wilful at times, and just sometimes seemed ot of my friend's control somehow.

My friend, used to say it was like she just couldn't be told, would go and do something defiant anyway, whatever the cost. Like in a world of her own somehow. Yet again, these are things that children 'do' aren't they. Well iyswim.

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Original poster

MincePirate · 03/12/2008 19:55

sorry meant to say/comment on the mentionof aspergers. What constitutes aspergers i wonder? I did ask friend if i should put a post up on here, to see what might comeup, but I am a bit wary of reporting back, as it's all a caseof being upfront and honest isn't it. Yet i do know that my freind is getting to the point of 'hmm this is getting worse' and is now i suppose trying to confront it.

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ScummyMarx · 03/12/2008 19:56

Hmm- she sounds like a kid who maybe needs school more than most, to me.

Original poster

MincePirate · 03/12/2008 21:40

i am not sure that would be the way forward for this issue tho? Her parents are keen HE's.

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MaryBeWaiting · 03/12/2008 22:12

Asperger's is a tricky thing to diagnose, especially for girls. Until recently it was thought to be mainly boys that have it, not girls. However (and I'm living proof it seems - I was dx'd in September), girls generally present differently from boys, in the same way boys are different from girls anyway. Most stuff you'll read, is about boys not girls...

Essentially, and this is more difficult since she is HE'd, does she have any social skills problems? Can she relate to her peers? Does she have any obsessions? Does she have any other sensory issues - such as not liking the feel of certain clothes for instance. Is she clumsy? Was she late in speaking/walking? Can she ride a bike? Does she have any 'strange' fears?

A diagnosis of Asperger's is all about "ticking boxes". I don't tick all of the boxes, but I tick enough (for example I can ride a bike, wasnt late in speaking or walking). I OBVIOUSLY can't diagnose, but I DO know about being me. I was picked up when my son was diagnosed. Yet I gave my mum a book to read on Asperger's and she didn't recognise me (so I haven't told her).

A school would be helpful in picking up on these sorts of things... it was the school who alerted my about my son...

Failing that, a Dr could refer her to a paediatrician who could assess her. Note that no-one is saying she HAS Asperger's, but sensory difficulties is one problem that people with it have.

MaryBeWaiting · 03/12/2008 22:13

OCD is another possibility I guess... but it needs a paed, not someone second-guessing...

Original poster

MincePirate · 03/12/2008 22:31

thanks for the information marybewaiting. I will talk again to my mate. I can't truly comment on any more, becuase I am an outsider really. I just know my friend is eager to help her dd, and altho saddened by this problem, she needs to address it now.

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MaryBeWaiting · 03/12/2008 22:38

I think a visit to a sympathetic Dr is her first port of call then... and then take it from there. If she has a choice of Dr at her surgery, I'd be careful about which one to see, emphasis on "sympathetic".

Original poster

MincePirate · 03/12/2008 22:42

not sure how she'd react about going to a gp, that sounds a bit mad of me to say that, but i guess I just need to tell her what i have been told, and let her do what she wants to do.

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MaryBeWaiting · 04/12/2008 07:06

I can see why she would see it difficult, after all "why go to a GP? she's not sick?". She isn't sick, but she has a "habit" if you want to call it that, that needs sorting while she is still young. That may be all it is, a habit, but if there are other reasons, then its best to get those checked out too. As she is home-edding, she is taking the place of school, and school would refer her daughter if they couldn't help her stop the habit. 7 seems to be a critical age in child development (not that I'm an expert!), where things get "straightened out" easier, she doesn't want to leave it till she's older, believe me! I'm not trying to scare her, but she does need to face it.

Re: the Asperger's and me, my son was referred direct to a paediatrician, who diagnosed him. That wasn't easy. I then had the "scary" experience of going to the GP to ask about me (but I'm not sick!!!) - I picked one who I knew would be sympathetic and not fob me off, and tell me not to be so silly. She then referred me on to a consultant for a diagnosis. But I did it for my son, as much for myself.

Tiggiwinkle · 04/12/2008 07:21

Another with a DS with Asperger's and similar problems around food. Would suggest that being HE'd is probably masking a lot of issues which would otherwise be thrown up. Strongly suggest trying to persuade your friend to go to GP with her DD.

Original poster

MincePirate · 04/12/2008 12:10

yes i understand. The home edding, i guess is structured differently, altho they do go to regular groups, but i suppose mum is there to avert any difficult food situations.

thanks for all your replies.

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ScummyMarx · 04/12/2008 14:07

Yes- if mum is there then she is in charge and the child will do whatever mum expects. Interesting how these sorts of things can change when adults with different expectations/rules- teachers etc- are truly in charge. That's why I am not at all a fan of home education- we all have our quirky ways that our children pick up on and they need other adults to balance that out, imo.

Original poster

MincePirate · 04/12/2008 14:10

yes understand where you are coming from. I think there are lots of mums and dads who run the groups tho.

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