I just lost it and I'm feeling so crap

[Jic]

DD (2.5) was due her nap so I took her for a wee before putting her down but she was sitting there a while and just wanted to play with the toilet paper by tearing it apart. I tried to keep my calm and ask her if she wanted a wee and encouraging her to go,but she just sat there so I tried to get her down but she didn't want to and got upset when I tried to. Anyway, it feels like from nowhere I just lost it and shouted at her to please have a wee and she just burst into tears the poor thing. I feel absolutely awful now because I felt like I had no control over myself for a minute although I could feel it build up when it was happening. When she started crying I did too and then it woke DS (6WKS) so I got more stressed. Is this normal sometimes? Am I a crap parent for losing it? I feel so guilty now and just want to cry. I just feel like I'm doing such a bad job of parenting sometimes.

Jic - I think you need a pat on the back - a toilet trained 2.5 year old and a 6 week old.

The first 12 weeks are really tiring with a newborn and made espeically hard with a toddler on hand too.

At times like this, I used to lock myself in the loo and have a dup of tea or a cry.

You are not a crap parent. Losing it is VERY normal esp whilst you are getting used to managing two. Please don't beat your self up.

I think everyone thinks they are a bad parent. I certainly do and have 'lost it' often enough!

You have a small girl and a tiny baby! I would just give her a cuddle, say mummy is sorry and that you are tired and having a bad day. And then do the same to yourself.

fwiw: I find the film crew thing very helpful when I can feel boiling frustration rising.

ah dont feel like that. I am sure you are doing a great job. I am also sure she will have forget about this a lot quicker than you will.

My dd is 21 months
My ds is 14 weeks

I nearly lost it earlier tryiong to get them both down for a nap.

Dont be too hard on yourself your new baby is only 6 weeks.
You must be exhausted too
Deep breaths.

Gosh, no you are not a bad parent, just normal.
I have a similar age gap, there is 2 years between DS1 and Ds2 and I think I shouted/lost my temper with DS1 in the first 12 weeks of having DS2 more than I ever had before in his whole life.
I was shattered and getting to grips with having two, of course you get fraught.
It gets easier though

I have lost it, and from what seems like nowhere, with DS1 in the last year since DTs were born (and when I was pg in fact). The poor lad is sometimes just being playful. I am getting better at thinking before I yell at him but if I am knackered it is very hard.

One time is he was just singing the alphabet over and over and over getting louder and louder and I screamed at him . He wasn't doing anything wrong, but both babies had been crying loudly and I think he was only doing it to drown them out a bit but it was him I yelled at. I was so stressed from the babies crying I took it out on him .

You are not a bad parent.

This is completely normal, don't feel bad. use the situation to teach your daughter that we all get cross at times.

On the occasions where i have lost my temper and shouted when it's not been warrented i've apologised to dc's and explained myself. It teaches them a valuable lesson in understanding "sorry" and the big wide world.

Normal.

Don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself.

We are human. Nothing wrong with reminding our children of that once in a while

Wow thanks all for such quick replies, it has really helped me to put everything in perspective. A lot of people have said that the jump from one to two is the hardest as I'm realising, but that it's sure to get better. Thanks for all your support.

BTW, Miyazaki- what is the film crew thing??

where you imagine you are being followed around by a film crew - it sounds a bit cheesy but it does work for me (sometimes!),

bit fake it till you make it, but whatever it takes!

Good idea Miyazaki! I'll give it a go

I stole it from another thread... can't take the credit! Hope you have a good evening tonight