21mo completely hysterical when offered new food

[MegBusset]

So I offered DS fish pie tonight, thinking that as he loves fish fingers he might give it a go. It also had peas in which he loves.

He took one look at the bowl and had a complete meltdown. I mean proper hysteria. Would not let it go near his lips. I didn't try to force him to eat it or anything. Took ages for him to calm down enough to eat anything else (eventually he had some sweetcorn and breadsticks).

He eats a good quantity of food most days but the range is limited. Hot meals are the biggest issue. He will eat fish fingers, veg in cheese sauce, spinach & potato curry, butternut risotto, veg goulash and that is about it. I know these are all healthy but I keep reading how important it is to keep offering new foods.

So I guess what I want to know is, is this a normal reaction to new food? And how can I help him overcome the fear? I am so worried that he is going to end up with a very limited diet. Should I put off trying to get him to eat new meals until he is a bit older and can be reasoned with/bribed?

How tired is he by supper time? Could you offer his hot/new meals at a time when he is less likely to have a meltdown?

Otherwise I would say, pick your moments to offer a new dish but once offered don't offer anything else or he will quickly pick up that don't fancy it = something else coming. If you have offered the new meal at lunchtime he will have time to catch up on calories etc later on.

BTW in my experience reasoning with and bribing are not good strategies for encouraging eating a good range of food (I tried). Just put the food on the table and take it away again if it is not wanted. Don't let it become about power. It helps a lot if you are eating the same meal at the same time.

Thanks TPL. He always has sandwich/bagel/muffin or similar at lunchtime, partly because we are often out and about and partly because he seems to hate sitting in his highchair at lunchtime so it's easier to offer something he can nibble at picnic-style.

The other thing is that he always eats loads of breakfast so I'm not sure he would be hungry enough by lunchtime to eat a full hot meal.

But maybe I could offer him a couple of finger-foody bits alongside his sandwich, if we are at home for lunch...

My ds (19 months) very similar. He will often reject a food that he'll usually eat happily if it's presented in a different format - eg will eat courgette if it's mixed in with something but if he sees it on its own he won't even try it. I think it's perfectly normal - compared to lots of others I know I count myself lucky mine eats even 5 different dishes! Don't worry about the mantra of offering different foods, his diet sounds perfectly healthy as it is. FWIW my ds would never eat butternut squash!

I have found that if I just leave the food there and walk away he will often try it and find he actually likes it. Whereas if I try and force the issue it makes it much worse and ends up in tears. Worth a try?

NB we always eat breakfast together and sometimes lunch, but DH and I don't eat our dinner til after DS is in bed (I don't think I could adjust my body clock to eat at 6pm!). I do, however, often share a bit of DS's meal. In fact I ate the fish pie after it was refused tonight -- twas yummy!

Thanks Fattipuffs. I wonder if I would have more success with food I can just leave on the plate and he can pick up or not if he feels like it. He is just getting to grips with using a fork but will only use it to feed himself if it's something he really likes.

Sorry re-reading my post it looks like I'm preaching to the converted. I didn't mean to imply you were forcing him! The key part of my post was the bit about actually walking away and leaving the food there, which I found to be most effective with my ds.

Oops x-posted!

Well, my ds occasionally stabs at the food with a fork but then gives me the fork and uses his hands, including cereal/porridge, pasta, mince, whatever! After such a long time getting him to eat anything I figured this was the least of my worries so I'm happy that he at least eats something. Just have to put up with the revolting table manners for a while longer!

IME it really did make a difference when I just left him to it (regardless of the mess!). Perhaps it took the pressure off him?

Now, there's the rub. He doesn't like eating 'messy' food with his fingers (will complain if he gets some rice or anything on his hands) and in fact is not keen on sauces in general. Dry food seems to go down much better. EG he won't eat pasta, porridge, Weetabix, baked beans.

He will, however, happily eat yoghurt with his fingers.

Missed your last post last night MB. Re-reading your OP I think your ds actually has a broad range of food (even if it is mainly dry), and with the sandwiches too it sounds fine.

The only other thing I thought was, could you try putting new foods inside sandwiches? It sounds like it's not the taste that he's objecting to but the look of something new, so could be worth hiding new food in something familiar.

He has a cunning way of sniffing out anything new hidden in his favourite foods but I will try with the sarnies.

I heard a thing on R4's Food Programme which said toddlers are programmed to reject new foods at about this age because evolutionarily it's the time they'd begin to start wondering out the cave on their own and it was important they don't help themselves to poisonous berries etc, hence choosing only to eat what they already recognise. It's another argument for BLW and introducing as wide a range of foods as early as possible.

This isn't to say I think you should give up trying new things, but it might be helpful to know that there might be a good reason why toddlers get fussy at this stage.