3.5 year old driving me crazy-please tell me it will pass?

[FuriousGeorge]

DD2 has always been hard work,but has basically not been that badly behaved.However,during the past few months,she has turned into a bit of a nightmare.She is determined to do everything herself,and won't let me help,for instance,because she messes about getting ready,we have missed dd1's school bus several times.If I ask her to stop messing around & hurry up,she goes off into a screaming tantrum,and we are even later.She whinges all the time,anything sets her off,such as me gong downstairs slightly ahead of her,my strapping her in the car seat before her sister,or getting her juice in a different coloured beaker from what she wanted.

Shes also taken to screaming and crying over nothing very much and being almost unable to stop.It is really wearing to have to constantly be dealing with her outbursts.She's also waking up to 4 times in the night,crying,but doesn't know why she's crying if you ask her.

She only does it with me or her dad though,pre school say she is as good as gold,my mum has no problem with her.At church yesterday she sat quietly for over an hour and several people commented on how well behaved the dd's were.I'm not a soft touch with her and she does know that if I say no I mean it and I won't back down.no matter how much she cries and throws herself about.

DD1 was never like this and I'm at a bit of a loss in how to deal with it.Any advice?
Thanks.

ds has been/and still goes through phases like this from time to time. I involve him in the decision process a lot, bribe him a lot, race him a lot and praise him a lot when he is good. Its tricky but its just yet another phase!

I'm new here and reading your story has made me feel I not the only one in this situation. My son is 3.5 as well and from the moment he wakes up I feel like hes a timebomb waiting to go off. I feel like I contantly treading on eggshells, he is so determined, and doing most simple things is a battle, I try to be as firm as possible but I still feel he is controlling me! He is very good with all other people, I realise that this phase will pass but at the moment it seems neverending. Somedays his behaviour is so bad that I dont even want to praise him when he does good things, although I do, and I know that sounds bad. I know things will get better, just want to see light at end of tunnel!! lol

bodiddly,those are fab ideas.I particularly like the race one.Anything that stops the arguments and speeds things up would be a huge help.Thankyou.

Welcome Felicia10.Your son sounds just like my dd2,she is so intense and determined too.It isn't easy,is it?

we have to get up and out very quickly in the mornings which can be tricky. I involve him the night before by getting him to pick his clothes for the next day. When he gets up in the morning if he is being difficult we race dp to get dressed. He then knows that he has to do his chores every morning. These aren't real chores but more doing his teeth, brushing his hair, going to the toilet, putting his shoes and coat on. When he has done those he can then play if we have time. When we first got him to do it all properly we used to let him have a chocolate coin (left overs from last christmas) or a sticker on his sticker chart. It works a treat!