biting

[kayjayel]

I want to gather suggestions on what to do. DS (3) is behaving terribly generally. Today he intentionally bit 5 mth old DD. I am beside myself. I generally go with natural consequences, rewards, praise etc. and I try to stay calm (often fail this one). But this stuff makes me so I want to throw all his toys away, cancel Christmas and never let him near his sister. He bit her because he was angry with me and DP for getting up before him so when he woke up we were downstairs.

What do other people do? I don't want to punish inappropriately. Especially as punishment leads to extreme anger with him, and more temper tantrums. Ignoring is my usual strategy but I just wondered what other people do with this.

My ds bite when he couldn't express himself. he was a lot younger. Sorry I've said this before and I'll say it again, the corner. Just keep putting him back and really don't speak to him until he has calmed down. Put him in a place you can watch him otherwise he will blame the baby and bite her again.
My ds use to bite my Mum on the bum. he loves her so much and loves her huge bum. I can see his girlfriends now

Thanks for replying. Annoyingly, steps/corners don't work well for us - he only stays there after he's calmed down, so by then it seems pointless. And it gets horribly physical to pick him up, whilst being kicked and screamed at and put him back. He's too big and strong to be manhandled now. I know he loves DD a lot, it was a way to express how angry he is with me/DP at the moment. He seems to be in a whirlwind of confusion and difficult feelings at the moment.

How about 3 mins in a boring room? Just an idea? Take away treats? We did this with the T.V Our boy loves T.V, harsh on you I know as T.V can be handy. Good luck must do some housework now. catch up later

HI, I had this with DD1 when DD2 was about 6 months old (and DD1 was 2 and a half). She bit DD2 a couple of times, and also bit me and DH on a couple fo occasions. Like you I found it v hard not to completely lose my rag about it and initially got v cross with her. Which didn't have the slightest effect. What really worked for us and stopped it pretty quickly was a complete withdrawl of attention - so if she bit me or DD2 I would say very sternly 'no biting', (but no more than that) and immediately remove her - usually to her room, and walk out and leave her there. She would scream and shout etc but I would not get involved (allowed me time to calm down too so I wouldn't completely lose it with her). After 5 / 10 mins I would go back in, calm her down, remind her of the no biting rule in our house, but then not refer to it again.

A lot of it does seem to be about attention, so even if you are angry and telling off etc then you are still focusing attention on him and away from the baby. if you can't pick him up to put him in his room, and he won't go, then, after sternly saying once about no biting, pick up the baby and remove yourselves to the next room.