Advice please...Eating issues with a 3yr old.... worrying

[shhhh]

DD aged 3.6yrs has always been a brill eater BUT all this changed when she started preschool 3 months ago .

While there (2 days a week) she only has lunch, but even thats debatable. The staff allow her to try the foods and then she has afters BUT I am aware of her either trying bits or not at all thus forfeiting afters..

I wasn't so bothered about the meals at preschool as she seemed fine eating at home BUT since preschool she has changed. Doesn't seem to be our little girl .

She smells virtually everything she eats and every meal is a battle .
Well...........I lie, breakfast she is fine, will eat a mix of cereal and want more...eat toast and want more and within reason we tend to allow her to fill up (as she eats little throughout the day iykiwm..)

Lunch, im lucky if she manages 1/4 of a cracker, a few crisps and 1/6 of a bagel etc.

Dinner, tonight for example was 1/4 of a sausage and that was forced by us. We were firm over no dessert but gave in and tried rice pudding (she used to love) she refussed it.

She has been ill on/off the last few weeks so we guessed it may have been this BUT the last 2 weeks have seen her eat less than a bird.
She has periods of being lethargic which I guess may be due to being ill/run down and lack of food..tonight she is also complaining of a sore head/tummy/cheeks..Although after was as loony as ever.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!! Whats happened..?

What do I do..? Do I see the gp's or HV, ride it out or seek medical help..?

Im lost and no idea what to do next.

TIA X

sorry about the delay in reply sb, been manic.

Well after your reply on sat dh & I decided not to battle with her...
she seems to be making progress over the last 2days and in fact almost immediatly we saw results on sunday...

We let her eat and basically guide us with what she wanted within reason and she has been eating most of her meals.

I also didn't stop desserts etc BUT allowed her to have something although maybe not always "the best" iykwim but still it was a dessert..

Poo'ing is still an issue BUT im continuing with lactulose so fingers crossed..

Pre school tomorrow and I know they won't ease off (I asked before and got a straight NO..although they did back down although said they would have to take her aside to do it..not what we wanted as it would alienante her further) BUT as she only eats 2 meals there in total (tue & thurs) im not bothered what they do. I guess as long as dh & I do the bulk at home we should get results.
The idea of a book record is brill and I will start it.

ds is improving (thanks for your kind thoughts) and started eating a bit more today after over a week of little or no food...he's now a bag of bones which is more worry for me and I guess I have another battle ahead of me..

Thanks again x

Just wanted to say, you're not alone. After being a good eater for the first couple of years, my 3yo is being really difficult with his food at the moment too. He eats a good breakfast (porridge, with a bit of mashed banana in it, a few fingers of toast and marmite), then picks atl lunch, claiming that he doesn't like all types of food (that he previously loved). At one point it was not unusual for him to have one piece of pasta!

He then picks at his tea. In between I don't offer snacks, although he sometimes has a beaker of milk in the afternoon, and half a biscuit.

My real concern is that he really tries to avoid fruit & veg at all costs. I think in our case, it's a mix of controlling behaviour (he's trying to control us, I mean), and possibly lack of appetite due to a run of colds and bugs in the last couple of months.

Either way, I know how anxious it can make you when you don't think they are getting the food they need. It's also frustrating when you try to prepare stuff you think they like - only for it to end up in the waste bin or on the floor.

Lots of good advice on this thread though. (Really impressed by The Armadillo's frank and supportive posts). I decided about a week ago to close down the "cafe" I'd become - no more "do you want X,Y, or Z". Now it's take it or leave it. I've reduced portion sizes to reduce the pressure, and have a rule that if has a good stab at a meal then he gets a pudding. If not, no pudding. I've replaced afternoon biccies with apples, so that at least he's getting some fresh fruit. I try to offer meals that are balanced but include foods which I know he loves (e.g. adding cheese sauce to veg & fish, cause he does love cheddar)

I think the best advice is try to step back and not get too emotionally involved at mealtimes, but it really is hard to do at times and I'd defy anyone who says they are not bothered when their kids are off their tucker!

Hope things continue to improve for you - hopefully it is just another stage..

Thanks nappy. What a lovely post..
As you said, lots of support here..I will kep referring back to it at my moments of madness .

Will let you all know how I get on.....

today has given positive food results...

No worries. I'd hate to think your kid was the only one who had you over a barrel!

Yep, we've had a couple of good days here - managed to sneak chopped spinach (bought frozen, microwaved, and stirred into a tomato puree I'd put on some pasta), ha ha. Think he's getting the idea that I'm not running an a la carte menu too

Hi I have a son who is a very fussy eater - (he is five) but is improving. Last year he had a long (6 month) bout of constipation and being even more fussy with food than normal. For a long period of time I gave him movicol and lactulose.

The point I wanted to make to you is that just giving lactulose occasionally is not enough. She needs it every day to work but speak to a doctor about the dose. My son was recommended 4 spoonfuls (I think) per day and gradually over a period of months I cut it down. The thing is lactulose is harmless and needs to be built up in the system to work.

It does sound a bit like she is becoming a bit phobic about food (like my son) but I think it is closely tied into the toilet issue. I think she needs to use the toilet regularly (every day) otherwise she will always feel bloated. Also I think my son's bad eating during this period was partly because he was scared of the toilet. That's why I think the lactulose is so important. But I would discuss it with the doctor again espec the dose and how long to use it for. (I was advised min 6 months).