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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How much should ds know at his age?

17 replies

Holly02 · 13/03/2003 00:29

DS will be 3 in July. He can count quite well from memory, but if I ask him to count items in a picture (eg. how many fish are there?), he gets muddled and a lot of the time doesn't count them properly. He also knows basic colours, but when I say (for example) "what colour is that ball"?, he will sometimes count them instead. Should he be a little more advanced than this at his age? He seems quite bright and figures things out quickly, but he also has a short attention span and has NO interest whatsoever in drawing, painting or colouring. Just wondering if this is normal.. thanks.

OP posts:

robinw · 13/03/2003 07:08

message withdrawn

batey · 13/03/2003 07:08

IMO, he sounds fine. I have 2 dds but my sis has 2 dss and they definitely developed their skills at a different rate and in a different order. What is your ds like on physical,hand eye ability? My dds "boy" friends were all well advanced of her at this age on running/kicking/throwing/catching/climbing etc whereas she loved to draw etc. I wouldn't worry. HTH.

Original poster

Holly02 · 13/03/2003 07:56

Batey he's fine with all the physical stuff. (he's a BOY isn't he?!!) He's running, jumping & climbing, and he throws and catches things very well. He does have a go at painting every now and again at playgroup, but just doesn't seem interested in anything 'crafty'. Once again, maybe it's a boy thing. If he has a choice between making something with playdoh or pushing a toy car around, it will generally be the latter. He likes books, and he listens when I read and he takes an interest in what's happening in the story.

Robinw, I've tried him with jigsaws but he doesn't take a great deal of interest at the moment. He will fiddle with them for a while and then gives up and runs off to do something else.

I just wasn't sure how similar other kids are at his age, although I know they're all very different in their development.

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LIZS · 13/03/2003 10:33

Holly02,

in some ways he sounds quite similar to our ds who also has not shown much interest in drawing and colouring although he has been keen on jigsaws and books from an early age and can focus on these well. It is only now he is at school with designated art sessions that he will have a go. I suspect he is a bit of a perfectionist(he's a fairly reserved character) and is waiting until he is confident he can produce what he wants. He will now take the time to count things out properly, but you can help this by playing number based games snakes and ladders, dominoes etc) which don't have to take a long time and counting rhymes as suggested by robinw.

I would not worry about your ds too much as yet. All you can do is give him the opportunities and encouragement to do these things but you may find that he will show more interest when out at playgroups etc where other kids are also experimenting. How does he do with Lego and construction as this will help his fine motor skills too.

hth

Lizs

Bugsy · 13/03/2003 11:07

Goodness Holly02, you are making me worry. DS is a bright, extremely chatty 3.5yr old but he can't always count items in pictures. He can recite from 1 to 20 but I know that it is just because he has learnt it nursery rhyme style.
He has very little interest in writing as such, although is interested in what words say. Not particulary keen on drawing and only likes the painting if it involves making huge expanses of paper, lots of paint and an awful lot of mess.
My understanding is that as pre-schoolers as long as the child seems alert, bright and interested in their environment, we shouldn't really be trying to assess school type skills. (I hope I'm right!!!!)

Marina · 13/03/2003 11:13

Holly02, I'd agree with Bugsy and Lizs on this one - at your ds' age, my son was just the same, pretty ropey on accurate counting in pictures. I too was starting to be apprehensive about the lack of interest in craft-type activities. We noticed a real surge of development on both these fronts when ds was about 3 and a quarter although he is no Michaelangelo (or Newton) in the making.
He sounds a typical little Mumsnet boy to me - plenty of marbles, just not where their mums are looking. Lego is defnitely worth a try, provided you are prepared to fake an interest in the arsenal of weapons your son will build with it. (We are supposedly a gun-free household. Huh.)

Original poster

Holly02 · 13/03/2003 11:41

Marina what is it with boys & guns!?? Even at ds's tender age, he is starting to take an interest in guns. He grabbed my rolling pin this morning and was holding it like a rifle saying "Shoot the monster!" Then he threw a wobbly in a shop today because my father wouldn't let him have a plastic gun.

Anyway the lego sounds like a good idea... he does have some beginner lego that he was given about a year ago, but I might try and get him interested in it again.

Sorry to have worried you Bugsy but I just had no idea what was normal with regard to numbers & colours, that sort of thing, so I thought I'd ask around. He's probably absorbing everything he's learning right now and one day it will all just start to come out.

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Jimjams · 13/03/2003 12:05

Ok I'm going to sound harsh (it's bee a bad day) For goodness sake he's 2- not 22 - 2. Some children know there numbers- all can count (as in recite) before they can count objects or pictures. he probably doesn't have a concept of what numbers actually are yet- most 2 year olds don't. Ditto colours. If he knows basic colurs at 2 he's dpoing fine- and some more. Loads of children don't like drawing- especially boys. I still can't get my three and half year od to even hold a pen. It's the least of my worries.

Play with him, enjoy him and stop worrying!!!I'm sorry but if your son had a real problem you would know it. Bit blunt- for which I apologise.

lorne · 13/03/2003 22:07

Hi Holly02,

My ds is nearly 3.7 and he is still not great on numbers. He can do colours and shapes no bother butthe numbers are taking longer. I had to get ds checked out with paeditriation(can't spell it!!)when he was 3.2. She just did colourswith him and also simple jigsaw which he did fine so I don't think they would expect a child to do all their numbers at your ds's age. Please don't worry. he is still very young.

Take care

Original poster

Holly02 · 13/03/2003 22:40

Yes Jimjams you did sound a little blunt! I am not worried about ds, I just did not know what was expected/normal at my son's age. I guess if it was really concerning me I would take him somewhere to be assessed, but since he's my only child, I have no real idea of what is normal developmentally so it helps if I can ask other mothers with children of a similar age. That's what this wonderful site is here for isn't it??!

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Original poster

Holly02 · 13/03/2003 22:42

Now I sounded blunt... sigh... not enough sleep last night I guess.

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WideWebWitch · 13/03/2003 23:43

Bugsy, you're right, and so is everyone else who says don't worry I think. So Holly02, no, I wouldn't worry at all - My ds wasn't great at counting at nearly 3 either but he is now, 2 years later. Hope you get some sleep tonight

robinw · 14/03/2003 07:25

message withdrawn

Jimjams · 14/03/2003 07:55

Thanks robinw- you explained it up for me....... Sorry Holly02- I did know I was being blunt and I also knew I should have kept my mouth shut- it is my problem obviously- but this is why I had to stop seeing the majority of my nct antenatal group. Guess I'm taking out some of my feelings towards them onto you. Sorry again. New day and it hasn't started with screaming so things are better.

Original poster

Holly02 · 14/03/2003 08:14

I wasn't aware of your situation Jimjams - I can understand how you must feel listening to other mothers being neurotic about their perfectly normal children. All is forgiven.

A lot of mothers I meet seem to know so much about each 'stage' their children are supposed to go through, how much they should be 'doing' by a certain age, and talk a lot about their fine/gross motor skills, that sort of thing. I'm not one of these people - but I guess listening to them has just made me wonder if ds is developing as he should be. If I didn't hear so much conversation about it, I probably wouldn't even give it a second thought!!

All the best Jimjams.

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Jimjams · 14/03/2003 09:33

Holly- thanks for your reply- I've always hated all that tick charting iykwim. It makes people anxious when they have no need. Mind you personally I blame the govt Seriously I do- they've moved from babyhood and done it to the education system now. All those level 5's etc. And I have a very square peg who doesn't really fit the charts! With ds2 I've stayed away from it all on purpose. The one time I did begin to panic was when he reached his first birthday without pointing. He then started to point at 12 months and one week so that was a pointless panic (and I was awake at night about it- failure to point is the early sign of autism you see- and ds1's first sign).

Carry on enjoying your son, and don't let other people worry you.

tigermoth · 14/03/2003 12:40

Holly, I don't know if this has alsready been covered, but you may well find your ds knows more than he tells you. My youngest ds age 3.5 will get things wrong to tease me I think, then come out with the correct answer out of the blue an hour or two later. It was quite worrying but now I am getting used to it. Your ds sounds fine anyway, but if you really think he should know the answer to something it might be that he just sees no need to tell you

My oldest ds, as a toddler, was only to pleased to supply the correct answer if he knew it - he was much more 'on the surface' than son number two. Personality differences came into play when it came to showing off their ability - or not.

HTH

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