Please give advice even about play fighting

[scifinerd]

My 4 year old ds has just discovered play fighting with his friends and I know I sound dim but where should I draw the line? Not just at the play fighting but at wild play in general. I am so sleep deprived from my baby but I don't want to raise a monster that noone wants round at their house. I am always worrying but don't know what is acceptable for little boys and if I am worrying unnecessarily after my quite art-loving dd. I do feel boys get a bum rap. Please give me your advice and experiences.

There's always something to worry about isn't there?

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Not really sure I can help per se on the playfighting thing - my DS1 is nearly 4 and bounces off the walls and every thing else in general - I seem to constantly be on his case for being rough with his younger brother who is 23 months but not sure if I have unrealistic expectations and that there will always be an imbalance between them.

I like to think boys will boys and they dont hold a grudge plus I try and knacker them out in other ways.

pippy that is exactly what I am trying to get a handle on: how much is it "boys will be boys" and when does it tip into unreasonable behaviour. I don't trust myinstincts, I have no confidence and I don't want to get it wrong. I am always stressed about my parenting (or lack of) skills.

Spend a bit of time just watching him play.

When it's 'play' you'll see a boy jumping around, shouting, throwing himself at floor etc.

There'll come a point when you see a change in his face, eyes, general stance, some little trigger that'll make you realise he's getting himself too worked up/too involved and that is when you step in with 'come upstairs and help me do X,y or z'

Next time he's playing watch again and you notice more signs that it's getting serious and stop it again.

After a couple of times of just doing the watching, you'll recognise the signs enough that you can intervene but not actually have to stop the play, just give him a minute to calm down and he can play without it turning nasty.

I really hope that has made sense. It does in my head but actually writing it down is another matter

I think that as long as they are not actually or potentially hurting anyone/breaking anything and all the children involved are having fun, let them get on with it.

And get them to play fight in a different room from where you are because it gets noisy!

DD and DS like to 'fence' with the 'light sabers' that DH recently made them (bit of insulation foam stuck in a cardboard clingfilm tube).

As long as they are not in living room where there are vases, lamps etc they can't do much harm.

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Thank you. I def will give the idea of watching him a try. It just gets so hard as my baby has bad reflux and demands so much of my attention that I can't devote the time to ds1 that I would like. Like the light sabers idea too.

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