Techniques for anger management for an 8 year old?

[Itsthawooluff]

I'm quick tempered and have to use quite a lot of techniques to try and manage my anger / hormonal rage at times.

DD2 has inherited my temper, or if I'm being brutally honest with myself, has seen me lose it (not with DC) a couple of times, and perhaps is following me down the rocky path. I don't want her to have to struggle with it in her adult life if we can possibly avoid it.

The techniques I use don't seem to be particularly appropriate for children. I can hardly hand over my well thumbed copy of Gael Lindenfeld, and say "read this, kid, it will really help".

School have raised it with me, so it's giving them cause for concern, particularly as I think it's seen as inappropriate for little girls to be quite so angry. So things haven't changed that much in 35 years! Please does anyone have any helpful hints?

Have they referred her to the educational psychologist? Because I think anger management is a common issue for children so they would have lots of strategies.

Things we would help kids with in the PRU (Pupil |referral Unit for children excluded from school) would be a 'pass' so you can leave the classroom and calm down, going to a safe place where you can draw/scribble/hit a beanbag/talk your anger out.

Interesting what you say about being seen as inappropriate for little girls to be so angry. Cos it is absolutely fine for her to be angry, it is what she does with that anger that is important!

I am interested in your techniques too, as I have a tendancy to lose it - therapy has helped somewhat but still have my flashpoints. Does your daughter/teacher/you know her flashpoints?

There seem to be a few good books on amazon which are aimed at kids who get angry.

DS1 has always been prone to getting angry. I explained the probelm to our GP, who refered us to a child psychologist, who in turn refered us to an anger management course. (There was a very long waiting list)

The course covered relaxation techniques, how to be angry without hurting people/ breaking things,(such as ripping up newspaper, punching cusions) and explained the different stages of anger, from the trigger to the explosion.

I think if you google you will find relaxation CD's for kids. Your DD might also like to take stress balls into school.

I know all these suugestions sound very light weight, but all of them combined definately had an effect on my DS.

The pass umlellala mentioned was a really good idea when things were really bad for DS.

We gave him a laminated picture of a car, which he would show to his teacher when things got too much for him. The idea was that he could then leave the class room, with out the teacher thinking he was jsut running off. The head was very unsupportive, arguaing that DS would be unsuppervied, adn it was no good him missing lessons. We removed him form that school, and the school he is now at have the resourses should he need to leave the class room. He also has a card in his school bag saying "STOP" he can hold up if someone is annoying him to much, although I don't think he has ever used it.

It is sad that it is seen as inappropriate for a girls to get angry. I was an angry child at home, and learned to control my, anger, mostly by crying furiously instead.

Thanks for your responses. No they haven't referred her to an Ed Psych, I think this is the first stage. They might be waiting to see if I shrug it off, or burst into tears - slightly watery .

I like the idea of stress ball + passes. Will talk to her teacher about it.