I want today to be over...but then I know tomorrow will be just the same!!

[Dragonfly74]

My ds 2.9yrs is driving me crazy. He won't listen to me when I tell him to stop doing things, He just throws a strop stamps his feet and shouts at me.

I always promised myself that when I had children I wouldn't be "One of those mums" Who shout all the time. but by bedtime I feel like i'm loosing my voice.

I also have a dd 9mths who is teething at the moment so she is waking more than usual in the night. So I'm extra tired and my already short supply of patience is running thin.

I know it sounds horrible but as soon as I wake in the morning I dread the day because I know it going to be a battle of wills with ds.

I wanted to provide a happy home for my children but i'm sure they can't be happy. I'm fed up because even the most basic task like loading the washing machine or doing the dishes has to wait till the kids are in bed and i'm so tired by that point I can't be bothered.

I just want to cry all the time, i'm so unhappy. I knew being a mum would be hard but I wasn't expecting to feel like this every day. Surely there should be some good days

You sound exhausted.

Try to get more sleep when you can.
Do you go to bed when they go to bed? As soon as they are settled, go to bed yourself. You'll feel better with a few more hours sleep even if you get disturbed in the night.
Don't worry too much about the washing,etc. Once you've had a bit more sleep you might find that what seemed an overwhelming task doesn't seem so bad at all.
Also, try to get out for a walk at least once during the day. Again if your baby and toddler ever nap at the same time, take the opportunity to shut your eyes for half an hour or so.
Things seem so much worse when you are tired, so I would think that your priority (after the children) at the moment is to get as much rest as you can.

Dragonfly - first of all a big hug. Second of all get an appointment with a doctor, could there be a chance you are maybe suffering a bit with PND? I am worried to hear you are crying all of the time honey.

It is so so hard, especially with a child who is hard work and a teether too. I am sure you are an excellent Mum and your DCs are very happy and they love you very much, even if it does not seem like it sometimes.

Stop is a word they never hear whilst biscuit is a word they here within a 20 mile radius. Do you get a chance to take DS to Nursery soon (3 yrs?) to give you some quiet time with the little one?

Could you settle him in front of a DVD or TV programme for a period of time each day and explain that it is 'quiet time' and Mummy needs have some 'quiet time' too? Make it a routine whereby he has to do something on his own without getting into trouble for a set period each day to let you catch your breathe?

So sorry to hear this, I am sure lots of people will come along with similar situations but I do think you might need to speak to someone. Doc or HV perhaps?

Oh that's awful. I'm like this with my two sometimes, I hate the person I've become some days and I'm cross with them for making me into this person! Personally I find talking either to my mum or a friend with similar age children puts it all in perspective and I can just grit my teeth until the good times roll around again. I phoned Parentline once and they were lovely and I just got it all off my chest. Good luck hon, this too will pass!

bluebumedfly I went to see my doctor when dd was 4mths and he said he thought that I may be suffering with PND. He wanted to give me anti d's, I told him I was bfing my dd. He prescribed Fluoxetine and told me to keep an eye on dd to see if she showed any signs of drowsiness.
I maybe stupidly decided not to take them as I didn't want the drug to pass through my milk to dd and I think that I was also in denial.

I'm still bfing and had decided to go back to the doctor one I had stopped but I don't think I can carry on like this.

Dragonfly, perhaps whilst you are BFing the doctor could provide someone that you can have some couciling with before you decide to try the antid's. I know that there are mums on here who will say take them, you need to get through and some who will say try counciling first. Do you think it would help to go back an talk to the doc now, to make a plan so at least you know things are going to change for the better soon? Otherwise it will seem like a never ending road with no light at the end. Perhaps you need a plan?

When do you plan to stop BFing? I think you are doing a super amazing job if you are coping with all of this and BFing too! I had to express as DD had a hideous birth etc etc and I only managed 12 weeks, however, it was making me miserable so I had to take the decision to stop and regain my sence of perspective a bit.

Just a thought (and I don't want to discourage you BFing at all) do you think your DS could be jealous of the time you spend BFing the baby? Does his behaviour get worse when you are feeding? DO you think he thinks he is missing out on attention? Perhaps once the baby is onto cows milk and they can sit and have their milk together he may see that you are sharing your attention between the two of them whereas at the moment perhaps he is upset but does not know why?

Doh - that was meant to be 'councelling'

ask for sertraline (lustral), doesn't pass into breast milk and works as well as fluoxetine. sorry it's short, typing one handed!!!

Thanks for the replies. cass66 I will go back to the doctor and ask about sertraline.

I know that I should go to bed now the dc are in bed but I need to unwind and dh works late, if I don't wait up for him we would never see each other and after the day i've had I need a hug.