DS trying to kill himself, may have to remove all the furniture from the house! Advice please!

[bohemianbint]

DS is 27 months old, and suddenly in the last week or so has gone completely through the roof. You may or may not have seen my post from Monday where I had to take him to A&E after he may have eaten some mirror. Suddenly it isn't safe to have him anywhere:

• We've had to take a toy garage out of his room because he was standing on it to look out of the window.

*He opens the drawers in his room to climb up to get things off his book case.

• This morning he was grabbing everything, so DH put him in his room for 2 minutes whilst he dealt with DS2, and he dragged his bed acroos the room so that he could stand on it, again to get things off his bookcase.

He has recently almost fallen down the stairs (DH caught him) and I'm really worried that if we don't physically remove everything from the entire house (which lets face it, is not an option) then it's just a matter of time before he really damages himself.

He has a lot of energy, so we try to get him out as much as possible - although that brings its own problems because he will just sprint off, either towards roads, people in swings, strangers, rivers etc, and with a new baby it's really hard to control him and keep him safe. I try to occupy him with safe things, but he's hell bent on grabbing anything else and it's driving me up the wall. I worry he won't see 3 at this rate! Has anyone else got one like this - and if so, what the hell do you do?!

I had two climbers. DS was dragging a box around with him to climb onto to reach work surfaces long before he was 1
and caught DD getting stuff from the top of the kitchen wall cupboards while standing on the microwave.
They used to use drawers for climbing on as well. By the time DD was 3 I had no safe place in the house as they both worked out how to open safety catches.
I can only say that it will pass, but it's hard work while it lasts.

When your out have you tried a wrist strap?

Maybe you could fasten the furniture in his room (like drawers and free-standing shelves) to the wall for your peace of mind. Also make sure the window has some sort of restrictor on it.

That way at least you will be a little more at ease when hes in his room and won't feel like you need to watch him like a hawk at nap-time/bed-time.

I felt so shocked and frightened when I read the thread title, because I thought it was really about suicidal behaviour.

Really glad that it is a different problem. My boys have always been similar. My advice is that if you prevent them from risk taking then they don't build up the experitse and judgement that will start to let them keep themselves safe.

Having said that, there is always risk involved in that strategy -- and the risk doesnt disappear as their judgement grows, because they just try bolder and bolder things.

They have fun though.

Go to a climbing wall when he's old enought!

Hiya

My son did not climb at all, then he hit 3 and boy became a cliff hanger overnight.

We fixed all bookcases etc with brackets to the wall, locked ALL windows upstairs and keep the keys out of his reach on a hook on the side of the frame, cupboard locks were frankly useless, so removed all undesirables from his room and fitted a stair gate on his room too.

After about 3 months it passed!

Good luck

Thank you - good to hear other people have similar maniacs!

christy - when we go out, he's usually either on reins, or incarcerated in his buggy (although he is close to being able to undo the catch. He also escapes from the car seat, which is quite terrifying and really frustrating as I don't know how to make him stop doing it! We've starting putting a coat on him backwards but it's a bit of a palaver!), but then I worry he's not getting the exercise he needs. Catch 22!

Norbert - We could do that but we'd have to move the furniture around, as at the moment it's against a partition wall (?).

HE also moves chairs at the playgroup I take him to, so that he can climb up a table, and then a bookcase to get at the biscuits.

Do they grow out of this? And when?!

Oh yes. I would recommend reins rather than a wrist strap after DS pulled his elbow trying to sprint across a road.

What about (ulp) soft play? I find it's a good place for DS to let off steam in an enclosed and safe area while I get to sit down (no small baby yet but heavily pg)

Sorry Threadworrm!

I am concious of not wanting to overprotect him, but its a really fine line with him, as he has no common sense whatsoever, hence the 4 hours in A&E the other night. I worry he'll get run over, or break his back before he learns not to do certain things.

You poor thing. Hope he was ok after the A&E incident. Really hard work when you have a new baby.

Effie - soft play used to be brilliant, but where we go there's a bit that is for older kids that he is allowed on but needs supervision (again, lots of scope for falling and braining himself) but now I have a baby I can't get up there after him, so that's off the menu as well (until the weekends when DH is about)! Gutted, we both used to love it.

. DS is still young enough for the under threes bit which has plenty to occupy him but nothing to kill him - he can't quire manage the older section and adults aren't allowed in it anyway.

I nearly had a heart attack - I was convinced he was going to die horribly with glass in his intestines. And my concentration only lapsed for 2 seconds whilst I was trying to stop DS2 crying!

We may have to put him in some sort of padded cell until it passes.

Can the staff at softplay not help out? Our will happily grab a child if you are otherwise engaged.

They do grow out of it evenutally. I had twin climbers. They used to stand on each other then climb even higher. One jumped out of the first floor window. Luckily escaped with bruises.
Make sure you fit window locks. our windows were shut but he managed to open them. I did also end up removing allt he furniture from his room bar the cots! It might be worth considering if he is climbing up the drawers.

The other thing we do is at least one long run in the park (DS with his toy buggy/wheely stick/trike), but then we have a couple of large parks nearby with plenty of room to run around and few hazards. It does mean you're walking, but you don't have to hang onto him as much.

Actually, if you have a garden does he have a trike/bike? Keeps DS occupied for hours and wears him out . the other thing that holds his attention is the brio train set (at ILs)

DD was just like this- or at least she would have been if it wasn't for Tumble Tots!
She is 6 now & still goes even though she is the oldest. Why? Because it teaches her how to do all these things SAFELY!!!
She still climbs on the work-surface in the kitchen (carefully), doesn't watch where she's going a great deal & would run straight out infront of cars if I didn't hold her hand. But tumble tots have taught her to deal with these things the right way & taught us how to manage this behaviour.
So we now have a more thoughful daughter (although still way behind most of ther classmates) & a much less stressed mum & dad- try it, or something similar- it works!
Just wait until they have a month off for Xmas- we will be complaining again that she has forgotten it all & then see a huge improvement again in January. Good luck

Cheers - will look into tumble tots!

We are trying to move house for exactly this reason; we need a garden! Especially if DS2 goes the same way, god forbid.

We're looking to move as well, small flat + active DS is NOT a good combination. I notice he is so much better when we visit the ILs and he has a big house and garden to run around in.

God are you sure you are not me?

DD is just like this, right this very second!

Pavlov - people always say it's because he's a boy and girls are quieter - ha! That makes me feel better! It really is starting to scare me.

Dodgy thread title btw!!! My two have both been climbers and DS (2) is still hideous. had to bring him home from playgroup today as he was piling up chairs trying to look out the window. Maniac. I've had to leave the stair gates etc on as they are just too dangerous even though DS hurdles them!! DD seemed to out-grow it after climbing 2 6 ft fences to escape from our garden- she was found on the main st . She was 3- I think she got such a fright at our reaction that it calmed her down. Still waiting for life-threatening incident with DS, something to look forward to.

this is what I am dealing with now!
DD climbs things, has fallen down stairs, has fallen off tables that she has climbed, no longer is in a cot as she could climb out of it as just under 2 years, can climb the small stairgate so had to get taller ones, she also climbs her furniture to get a good view of something, and then likes to jump off it! She likes to climb on her toddler table and jump across the room to try to land on the sofa, sometimes she does it, sometimes not! She 'scares' me a lot!

My friends who have boys tell me she is more robust and daring, has less fear than even their children! At her age, and some even now!!!

Pavlov - snap! We had to put him in a bed waaaaay sooner than we wanted, because he climbed out of his cot and fell (the first time he was about 18months I think!) and as a result we have a gate on his door, because if we didn't he'd be in the bathroom chewing the loo brush in the night or similar. My only saving grace is that he does sleep.

We found DD on all fours on the floor after falling/climbing out of her cot at 6 months !!!
If you have a spare bed you can drag the mattress off of & put it next to the cot/bed it works a treat
And the PC brigade would be horrified at us shouting the word NO at a poor defenceless 6 month old baby
Have they never met a child on a suicide mission? No becomes your saviour!!!

Bonhemian - lol just read the bit about the loo brush being eaten to DH who has just come in. He phsl and said that is exactly what DD would do

It makes me laugh, a few members of my family blatantly thought I was just a neurotic nightmare over protective first time parent with DS1. Until they actually spent some quality time with him. Ha!