Very stroppy six year old with tantrums

[tassiesuzy]

My recently turned 6 dd has developed raging tantrums and hissy fits which are driving me to despair. Partly due to tiredness from school and that end of the year exhaustion, but possibly she's just trying to cope with all these emotions that are whizzing about. I try to keep calm - phew, it's hard, and usually very stressful, but anyone with any tips? Certainly keeping calm and trying not to yell back at her, but tips to help her manage these emotions herself? I hoped life would be easier once she was at school, but she's now complaining endlessly about school and tiredness, oh dear.. I guess once she's 36 she might give me a bit of slack..

I know, it's very difficult, isn't it?

What time does she go to bed - does she have a consistent, calm bedtime routine? And how long does she sleep?

My DD is worse than DS when they don't get enough sleep and will complain of tiredness, etc. DS just has a colossally low threshold for frustration and loses it big-time when things just don't go his way

I think we all underestimate how tired our dc get at school. And just 6 would be year 1 - I think. Big change from reception where they really just play.

So my tactic (ds same age) is to treat them a bit like a toddler with very regular food and sleep (so sort out the physical), and lots of reassuring (emotional). There are so many changes going on in the little mite's lives that mum is the one who gets the fall out. I meet mine from school with a snack before they even get home, and try to have lots of doing-nothing time after school.

But it will pass...

tassie- i have struggled with my volatile DD since birth virtually and she is getting loads better with age, now 7, but still finds her v strong emotions incredibly overwhelming and hard to deal with - 'tis her temperament. food and sleep crucial, i totally agree with other posters. i have to give her a snack on exiting school to avoid a meltdown - holds it together all day at school then lets it out at the school gates commonly -esp last year when 6 - much better this year so there is hope don't worry! tiredness is crucial and makes her behaviour loads worse. i have to be much stricter than some of my friends with her bedtime. we have a poster of facial expressions on the kitchen wall and have worked hard to give her the vocab to express her emotions, which does help. trying not to lose it as parents is of course key. but not always achievable - esp in the mornings i find, argh!!! good luck!

I agree with the regular food! Some kids need this more than others. My dd would just eat when I fed her and be fine but if I don't give my ds something immediately he comes out of school (like, literally I hand him the food as he appears from the gate) we are in for a terrible afternoon! Sounds simple but it has honestly made a big difference. He probably doesn;t eat enough at school and has v low blood sugar by the afternoon.

smae with us cleverspour - i literally hand over the calorie boost as soon as she emerges from the gate!! have learnt from bitter experience this is key to rest of afternoon!

ps sorry about typos but am supposed to be working !!

god, I've got one of these 6yos too...she has gotten so much worse this last week too...keeps hitting herself now when getting in a tizzy and tells me she doesn't know why she does it and she doesn't want to...am just about to start other thread on that...it's a nightmare - am at wits end

Sorry for delay in replying, we are living in australia just now... so it probably feels harder as there's no family around to bounce things off! But yes,lots of good ideas there. I like the pictures of different faces katiek123, i think I might work on that with her. And def with the calories - she eats like a horse after school.
she just wont get to bed now til about 7,45 and not asleep til after 8, whereas she used to be out cold by out 7.50 every night, and up at 7 the next day. but now she's up at 6, so the tiredness is clearly a big issue.
she does the hitting thing too, jeangenie, but i try not to get too bothered with it, and just tell her to stop doing it and try to get her on to something else. that does seem to have been about getting my attention.
she has only just turned six and i foudn i was looking under 5 yr olds on websites etc and tehre's such a big difference with 6 years. so i think i underestimate how she's changing and need to anticipate more! onwards and upwards, I guess!

tassie, we were also in australia (perth) while DD was at her verymost challenging! i went on the triple P parenting programme which is v popular there - found it of moderate help -worth a go? i must say i went along on day 1 at the end of my tether expecting everyone else to be in the same desperate sort of boat - and then realised that EVERYONE goes on parenting courses in oz however laid-back and easy their kid, unlike in the uk until recently at least. so i found myself listening to sweet well-meaning obviously totally contented chilled mums saying things like 'i'm here bcs i'm curious as to how neat i should be expecting my child to keep her bedroom' while i was unsuccesssfully fighting back sobs to try to say 'i'm here bcs i don't think i can GO ON ANOTHER SECOND PLEASE HELP ME NOW!!!!!'

i found my own emotional needs very patchily met while over there bcs of missing friends so much (and family - but especially friends!) which made it all much worse. much as we loved many aspects of it and perth was certainly a paradise for (a certain sort of ) kid!! ie DS loved it. DD found the endless physicality of aussie kids' life bewildering and frustrating at times!!