OCD behaviour in a near 4 year old? HOw do i handle this?

[MrsRobinsonComplex]

(POsted this in children's health but think it's possibly more suited to here!)

Dd1 is nearly 4 and has started to display some strange behaviour which I think is sort of like an OCD thing.
She will wash her hands but then spend ages drying them on a towel. She repeatedly rubs them till they are red and they are getting very sore.
I wanted to watch her today (to check if she was still doing it) and she went mad. She wanted to close the door and told me she didn't want me to see her dry her hands .
I inisisted and so she did the whole drying routine with a scowl on her face. Even with me saying 'That's enough now, they're dry' she still continued.
When I took the towel off her she started to cry and said her hands weren't dry and then she told me she hadn't washed them at all so would have to do it now
She's started to avoid going to the toilet and will say she doesn't want to wash her hands even when I make her go to the loo. It's as if she doesn't want to start the drying routine but once she has, she can't stop herself.
I really son't know the best way to handle this. I don't want to shout if this will just make things worse. I don't want to ignore it if it will just let this behaviour develop.
I have OCD tendancies myself (never diagnosed, refuse to see Dr ) and know how dibilatating this can be. I don't want this for my little girl. She is getting increasingly distressed about all this.

Sorry, that's ended up being really long. Any help would be gratefully received!

Hi,

First thought when I read your post is whether this is possibly something she picked up from you as you said you have OCD tendencies yourself? Even if you think you hide it well, kids are very intuitive in picking stuff like that up. That could be why it is manifesting in her behaviour. I don't know ANYTHING (first-time parent) but my brother has OCD and I know it runs in the family (my mother has a very anxious personality). However, your daughter is still young so try not to worry too much. Have you spoken to your HV about this?

Ax

Thanks angel, I haven't spoken to anyone yet as I wasn't sure if it was just normal behaviour for a 4 year old.
My OCD behaviour is in completely different areas but i suppose the general gist is the same. I feel so bad about possibly passing this on to Dd
Perhaps HV would be the first port of call, or should I go straight to the gP?
Someone else suggested keeping a diary of her odd behaviour. Think I will do this first so I don't feel like I'm amking it all up!

I really am no expert (especially about OCD behaviour in young children, however I do believe 'normal' children can exhibit such traits at certain points of their lives i.e. one of my cousin's children got into a 'habit' of an eye twitch and sniffing his fingers but did outgrow that) but I do feel for you.

My brother's anxious nature has manifested itself in not just OCD but he also has a tendency to get depressed as well as suffering from insomnia so I do think anxiety can manifest in many ways and your daughter could just be acting out what she has observed in you. Don't feel bad! Honestly, we pass on good and 'bad' genes to our children (I am sure my DS will get my bad eyesight and teeth! ) and it's nobody's fault!

Thank you Angel, I just feel so very bad for her .
All my resolve to keep a diary and see how it went has just gone out the window. Poor Dd1 has been sobbing and rubbing her hands with a towel for 30 minutes. When we took the towel off of her she used a blanket instead .
Have made an appointment to see a Dr tomorrow morning. Think DH will have to take her as I will just cry and make things worse.
Just feel so helpless

Personally, I think she will grow out of it. Just a thought, can you make something yummy to eat with your hands say chocolate sandwich and get really messy? Associate grubby hands with 'nice' rather than dirty or germs? Just a thought?

I really hope she will. The mucky food is a good idea but it isn't associated with dirty hands. It's really difficult to explain but it's as if dirty hands don't bother her. She's fine until she has to wash her hands, like adter the toilet. Once she's started she can't stop. She's even avoiding going to the loo so she doesn't have to start the handwash ritual