Feeding a 1yr old - I'm at my wits end.

[ameliesmumvic]

Anyone got any ideas? My 1yr old is a complete nightmare when it comes to solid food (and sleeping but thats another topic!). She wont eat anything - some days she barely eats and I'm seriously worried about her health. Previously the only thing I could get into her were fruit pots but even these have gone out the window. It doesnt matter if its home cooked food, bought jars (i've tried loads of them) or meals out, she barely eats anything except a bit of milk.

She has never been a big eater - she is still on 4oz bottles and has never eaten more than 5oz at a time. She's putting on weight ok but I cant help but think sooner or later her weight will begin to fall because she needs more food. She is so active all day and surely needs more calaries because she never stops!??

Meal times are a constant battle where she has a tantrum, I end up in tears and she throws all the food all over the floor. It doesnt seem to matter if I spoon feed her or let her feed herself, the food gets thrown on the floor. I try a number of different foods each mealtime and end up wasting all of it. I've tried taking her out of her highchair in case this is the issue but its not. Its truely heartbreaking to see everything wasted and I dread mealtimes so much. She does the same for other people though so I dont think its my frustration she picks up on...?

If she does eat a bit of something one day the next day she'll scrape it off her toungue like its poison. The health care worker says she should be eating what we are by now but thats a complete joke! I have no idea what to do - I'm truly at my wits end and desperate for help! I daren't take her off baby milk because this is the only caleries she gets, and even then she's only on about 16oz a day. People tell me if she's hungry she'll eat - but I'm really not sure she will. And then she'll be hungry all night and screaming for food. I'm exhausted and desperate!! Please help!!

Oh you poor thing

Right, when you say she won't eat anything, do oyu mean that literally?

Does she literally only have milk from morning to night?

I'm afraid I have very little advice but just wanted to reassure you that you're not alone. Ds (17m) is EXACTLY the same. He also never graduated beyond a 6oz bottle as a baby and mealtimes are totally hit and miss - generally miss! Maybe twice a week he'll eat a small amount of whatever I offer him but offer the exact same thing the next day and he'll do the whole scraping it off his tongue thing.

I recently had him weighed and he's dropped right down the centiles but short of force feeding him what do i do? The only thing he'll eat reliably is weetabix for breakfast.

I'm trying very hard not to stress about it. I add vitamin drops to his weetabix and then serve up his meals as usual but calmly remove when he refuses but I do let him pick off my plate if he shows even the remotest bit of interest in what I'm having and I leave bowls of chopped fruit/toast slithers around in case he feels the urge to pick at them while he's playing. Maybe this is pandering to him but I figure I'd rather get him healthy again and then break any bad habits.

You have my every sympathy because it's so worrying - and demoralising when you've slaved over a hot stove!

All I can say is that just feed him what you know works and try really hard not to get upset by it. So sorry though it must be shit

My 12 month old DS is the same. I've no idea what he weighs as I work on clinic days, but he is active, healthy-looking and enjoys his milk. He does eat small amounts of food, but I csn't feed him, he will only finger feed, so that's what I let him do. I don't stress about it (not in front of him anyway!) and let him eat till he's done then leave it at that. Yes, loads ends up on the floor, but I think if I fretted about it I would send myself mad and he would carry on doing whatever for the same reaction.

I find offering frequent snacks helps to familiarise him with food and soothes my worries. He has never had more than 4oz of milk at a time, he's a bf baby and would probably be a lot happier about food if it all came out of my boobs but that aint going to happen! He prefers food with texture to anything that's been vaguely near a blender, no idea why, it's just the way he is.

You're by no means alone, and your DD will develop an appetite at her own time. Maybe offer food away from the highchair, perhaps she has negative associations with it after her tantrums and the stress that they've created. Would she enjoy a picnic on the floor? she can crawl around and pick up what she wants to try. And you won't have to waste anything!

I agree with jet that perhaps you could have a little picnic on the floor?

Do you eat with your DD? Sometimes it helps if you can eat together and even share food off your plate with her.

I dont have too much advice for you unfortunately because thankfully DD (who is 1 next week) will eat most things i put in front of her (at least try them, even if she pulls a face and chucks it overboard). What i WILL say tho is that please please dont make mealtimes stressful. This will only cause more problems as your DD could start associating food with stress, tears, tantrums etc. Try and make it fun with her. If she doesn't like you feeding her then dont! Give her a spoon loaded with yoghurt, spagbol or whatever and let her put it in her own mouth. DD loves "feeding" herself this way and it makes them feel in control of what they are eating. DD can now dip her spoon into her bowl in an attempt to feed herself and it's brilliant watching her.

Be prepared for a lot to go on the floor. Get a splash mat and just go with the flow. If your DD chucks her food on the floor then so be it. When my DD's finished smearing her food in her hair, all over the high chair tray and all over her socks (she likes to put her feet up on her try while eating, strange child), i just clean her up and send her off to play again. Also, i've heard that if they chuck stuff on the floor, DON'T immediately stoop down to pick it up as this becomes a great game for them to see mummy going up and down like a yoyo. Ignore the mess and wait til she's completely finished and THEN clear up.

Honestly, food time is fun time and it WILL get better!

Good luck and be happy!

DD was like that, would eat maybe three mouthfuls or nothing at all. At 13 months she suddenly started eating a bit more so it might not be too far off for you...

16 oz of baby milk a day is plenty to maintain a 1 year old's body weight. it's actually quite a lot. I know it seems like she is so active she must need more, but try to remember she's not much bigger than a cat.

Stop winding yourself up about the meals. She has a naturally small appetite. If she iss a healthy weight, just go with it. Give her 1 tablespoon of food each meal time and more if she wants it, take it away if she doesn't. try cheese sticks, they are loaded with calories and most kids like milk cheese.

To be honest, the doctors won't bother until she is a lethargic bag of bones, so her activity level itself shows that she must be eating enough for her.

Oh yes, i agree too that 16oz is good for daily milk

Thanks for the advice - I think maybe a picnic on the floor is an option we'll try tomorrow. And I do need to stop immediately getting the food she throws and leave it till she's finished because it probably is a game to her... At the moment I feed her out of her highchair because it had become a battle ground, but she runs around the lounge smearing food all over the carpet and me and I spend the rest of the day trying to clear it up!

When I say she doesnt eat anything, I mean she will have tiny bits of food on the odd occasion. One day she'll eat a bowl of porridge, the next she wont touch it, not even to try. And some days she eats nothing but milk, sometimes for a few days running.

Should I wean her off baby milk so she gets more hungry? Should I feed her snacks or try for three meals a day so she's more likely to be hungry? Does a strict routine help? I do eat with her but she then becomes more interested in feeding me than the other way round!! Should I be offering her alternatives like I do at the moment or should I stick to one option and thats it? Can babies reason that they only get one option and if they dont eat it they go hungry?? I cant help but get stressed that I did something wrong at the beginning and its all my fault! And I'm 6 months preg with No.2 - I dont know what to do differently next time round!! What I do know is Annabel Karmel HAS NO IDEA and should meet my daughter! That book got thrown in the bin a long time ago!!!

at a yr old maybe cut some milk back i think my ds wa on 2 bottles which i cut to one i left out morning bottle and gave night time bottle and small amount of toast before bed settled him for longer but still had a night feed up until about 18 mths was always hungry at night

as for meal times remember one tbs per portion per meal time is adequate for this age it goeas up a tbs per portion per yr of age

so her meal would be one tbs mash , 1 of veg and 1 of meat and although looks not much is completely adequate

i actually found i had to leave ds to it alone to eat and still do his 3 half he eats better without the attention

do more finger food so can easily pick up and eat it alone i used to have to do dinner lunch time and finger food dinner time as the more tired he became he wouldnt touch a cooked meal

so i would put carrot humous and toast or pitta bread out so he could just pick

and always a yogurt fed after dinner but the food intake doesnt have to be huge at this age so dont panic yourself as soon as i used the tbs portion i found he ate better as wasnt so daunting as having huge plat of food stuck in front of himleft him to it he concentrated more on eating than playing games and i felt less anxious to see he was eating right amount of food

and dont forget they wont always fancy what you put in fromnt of them so toast and jam or marmite was alwasy the second option or egg and soldiers

i also found when it came to ffeding dinner from the bowl i would put small amount in bowl for him and his own spoon and the 3 tablespoons in mine and feed him he would eat mine and he would feed me his and id say one for you now and make it fun instead of anegative experince id put food on my nose use a hand puppet to feed him and he still had hios own spoon and bowl of food

as for finger food i would put enough on to know he would eat to his limit and the rest was ok to go over board

sorry no he still had 2 bottles at this age i just used the tbs rule and cut milk back at 18 mths

your doing nothing wrong but there routines and ways of doing thisgs change all the time its testing as you ahve to keep experimenting to find the next thing that will work

also dont show your anxious as they pick up on this big smiles extra food playing making it fun feeding a dolly well done dolly now its xxx turn lots of praise eating what they feed and all its so yummy now your turn good luck

agree with bubblagirl sometimes I use a (plastic, wipeable) toy to 'feed' my 11-month old - some for doggy, some for DD etc. also try making a play of eating baby's food yourself sometimes works

Hi. I have just joined mumsnet and have two girls, 31/2 and 15 months. I thought I was having trouble with my 15month old re eating, (because do not recall the same trouble with the eldest) so a friend recommended I read this discussion topic for help but maybe we are not doing too bad, because she does eat some things. When you have one child already, eating is slightly different becuase obviously the baby sees the elder one eating biscuits etc at an earlier stage. My 15 month old does eat lots of things, but is fussy about what I would call "proper meals", ie sheppards pie, pasta. I sahll therefore tell you waht she does eat to see if of any help to you: Minibix, shreddies and mini oatabix rather than the big ones, she can pick them up herself (sometimes dry, sometimes with a little bit of milk to soften them up but still so she can pick them up). she loves (or has done to date) strawberries, raspberries, bananas, grapes, mango, kiwi (sometimes) pear. Rice pudding (presume it is sweet), yog, raisons, biscuits (obviously). #she will often eat "Plum" and "Ella's kitchen" baby food (my first never had any pots, just home made food, but she was at nursery 4 days per week from 6 months, whereas 15 month only has food I provide), rather than my home cooked "Annabelle Carmen" recipes. she also prefers fish to meat. I make fish cakes, served with sweetcorn and peas which she did eat yesterday but prior to that she had not eaten a "proper meal" for approx 2 weeks. she LOVES the shop bought Sushi Californian rolls, which does sound wierd, not recommended all the time as has salt in but maybe worth a try when baby slightly older as can pick them up. Will also sandwiches, say with chopped up cucumber or tomato. You could also try mackerel. Anyway, I hope some of my suggestions work for you but if anybody has any further tips of "proper meal" eating then I would love to hear.

welcome LisaBe and bump in case any other mums can help with your situation