Okay what would you do about dd and her best friend if this was you??

[singyswife]

DD and best friend (call her X) have been friends since they were 3, now nearly 8. Anyway dd came home today terribly upset (cried for 45 minute and eventually told me that X has a 'boyfriend' and she has been chasing my dd round the playground forcing her to give the 'boyfriend' her snack. DD is now scared that X doesnt want to be her friend any more.

I am on fairly good terms with X's mum and often help her out with getting kids ready for discos and bringing her home etc. Would you have a word?? IS this X showing off? Is it bullying??? Or does my dd need to toughen up a bit? What would you do??

I would tell dd to say no to her friend.

Yeah I have done that already. I have told her that I cannot physically do anything about it (Although I want to grab her friend and ask her what she thinks she is playing at). DD is a very shy person who takes everything to heart and I have pmt so I think it is just sooooo much worse than it actually is. I need to get a grip dont I?>??

Anyone else?? I have pmt today and the problem seems so much worse. Please asvise me so I can sleep tonight.,

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yes just tell dd to be firmer and if she is really distressed to tell the teacher?

Agree with compo. If it continues have a word with the teacher. I wouldn't mention it to her mum though.

So dont phone her mother then???? I was just going to phone and see if maybe X had said something about them not being friends any more. I phoned x's mother earlier (as I was emotional but she wasnt in) what do I say if she phones back??? Oh shit I have made this so much worse than it needed to be, damn my raging hormones. Damn them

FFS dd has just came to me and said 'mummy Im okay about it all now, if she chases me again I will just tell her this is my snack and I wont share'. Oh for god sake, think I will go to bed and hide myself away till tomorrow.

I do think you have probably made this a bigger issue than it is. Tell your daughter she needs to be firm with her friend and then remove herself from the situation by playing with her other friends. Eventually her best friend should realise she is missing out and then hopefully resolve the situation herself. Although obviously I can understand why you feel so upset by it. No one wants their child to be upset.

When the mum phones back say it's about something else, a play date or something.

keevamum, that is EXACTLY what I told dd. Those exact words and everything. I will tell the mum that I was phoning about a party they were invited to. I was genuinly going to phone and offer to take my dd and X to the party anyway.

thanks

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That's a bit weird!! Same words as well.

I hope you managed to resolve your worries. Thought I'd add a link to an article I read a few weeks ago.problem solved (I haven't re read it today, but I'm pretty sure it's applicable!) Struck me at the time as being sensible advice. Sounds also like your DD started to resolve the issue quickly for herself in the end.

I would hesitate about involving her mum too. A friend of mine was cross with me about something which my DD1 had done and things are still not right 3 weeks later
It can all get a bit personal and over-emotional IME.

i would second the dont phone the mum give dd the best advise you can as you will find you will have many battles like this and then there best friends again but parents arent talking anymore as got involved and most parents of course will take it personally

my mum fell out with her firend when my sis was small my sister came home crying that this girl had been mean my mum had word with her mum there having firm words and my sis and this girl went off hand in hand my mum swore from that day not to get involved when it comes to kids lol

tell your dd to say no and not allow others to force her they can only do what she allows them to