DD will not put up with bossy children. Is this ok?

[DiscoDizzy]

She has a nice amount of friends at school and generally plays well. There are a few children whom she enjoys playing with but she hates it when they take over. She suggests taking it in turns but when they refuse and say that they're in charge, she tells them she can't be bothered to play with them and walks off. Yesterday she said she spent lunchtime wandering around the playground on her own. She said she'd rather do that then be bossed around. Do you think she will lose friends by doing this? I mean i've explained to her that sometimes you have to give and take with friends but she won't have it. As soon as they start bossing her and not letting her have her turn she's off. She's nearly 6 btw.

Good for her. That is fantastically mature assertive behaviour for a 6 year old.

Don't know the answer, but I do know that quite often when mine say that someone's being bossy, they actually mean that person won't do it my dc's way!

Disco, good on her. How amazing that she can stand her ground with her peers. i would so love my son to be the same. he is quite the opposite and tends to get awfully upset and tearful. I d love for him to be so confident.

Snap, seeker - "He/She's so bossy" from DS(6) translates 90+% of the time to "He/She won't do what I want them to"

..which is not to say that the OP's DD is necessarily the same, of course.

My 7yo dd was crying recently and said noone would play with her at school. It turns out she meant that they would play with her but they didn't want to always play my dd's choice of games with her in charge.

I think there are a lot of children this age who want to be in charge and call others bossy if they don't all give in.

Phew. I have always said to her that if someone's being overly bossy then if she doesn't like it then go play with someone else. I know the children she's taking about and I know exactly what she means. Its the games like 'mums and dads' whereby they get to choose exactly who they want to be and she doesn't get a choice. I know she's put up with it in the past but she's obviously had enough now. Thanks.

I suppose there' no point in me saying DD isn't bossy cos I don't see her in the playground and she's a child, they're all bossy at times. I can only go off what she's said about certain girls in the past, the conversations we've had and the fact that I know them personally to think that what she's saying is probably right

I think it's fab she's obviously listened to you and felt confident enough to play alone!

In which case, if she is happy to occasionally be on her own, then good on her.

disco, does she just write off those 'bossy' children just for that session or does she carry on into the next day?

blueshoes-she always maintains that the same people are bossy but she just writes off that session, she plays with them again the next session, she doesn't carry it on into the next day.

Well, some girls are bossier than others!

Your dd sounds sensible - I think my dd will just sulk and find other children to 'boss' around - her perennial fave is 'mummies and daddies'.

If it is forgotton by the next day, that is in the nature of normal interactions at that age.

I always tell my dd (2 years old) that if she is bossy then other children wont want to play with her... So there you go, now I know for definite I'm telling her the truth!