So this is probably a question for a HV, but, you know ...

[IAteMakkaPakka]

I have a couple of concerns about DS. DP thinks I'm being silly. He's probably right. But I'm not comfortable about it so he said why didn't I ask you lot for advice.

He's 16 months and can be a chatty, independent, sociable and very affectionate wee boy. On a good day he spends his time hugging and kissing everything and everyone, seeking and enjoying interaction with other people, enjoys copying (like playing with a bowl and spoon while I cook).

On a "bad" day he responds to everything with a solemn headshake, doesn't babble much, doesn't enjoy interaction and totally refuses and doesn't offer affection. Sometimes he's cranky, other times just totally shut off.

This worried me an awful lot a few months back but he suddenly had a developmental spurt (started walking and had a burst of progress re understanding) and seemed back to being a cuddly, fun character. However, I feel in the last few days we're going back to the withdrawn, introspective child he was before. Maybe it is just related to development, in which case I'd love any reassurance that's going

The other thing which really bugs me is that he has an obsession with little black specks. As a tiny tot he'd be unable to concentrate on anything if there was a fly on the window. We've just had to pretty much stop dinner because some compost from a pot plant had spilled on the table and he was just pointing and making stressed babbling noises about it. If there's a bit of black fluff in the bath he has to have it removed.

I don't know if that's a phase or not, and I don't know how I should be reacting to him. At the moment if he's bothered by something I tend to clear it up quietly and without fuss or just remove him from the room and distract him.

Maybe I'm over-reacting but it all seems strange behaviour, and it's worrying me

If you are really worried, pass it by your hv. She will put your mind at rest, I'm sure, that it's developmental. Many children go through an 'ocd' phase ie: the black spots etc.

My ds1 went through a stage of doing everything twice (drove me nuts!!) lasted for about 6 months. If he is able to be sociable, affectionate and role play, you don't have any worries. . Small children have good and bad days just like us.

I think this sounds pretty normal imho. DS2 who is now 4 can be very moody. Sometimes adorable loving and enthusiastic other times sulky, stubborn and prone to tantrums.

At 16 months your DS is not really able to verbalise his feelings so he will be very visual. If he could say to you I'm cross because you've put me in the blue t-shirt not the red you'd find it easier to accept that he was refsuing to speak etc etc but he can't yet.

DS1 was very much like this when he was little and didn't really do the classic tantrum thing. When he was upset about something he would completely withdraw into himself, refuse to speak or interact with anything. Aged 8 he is still a sulker and quite often it's impossible to work out what he is sulking about!!

The dirt thing is quite common. I'm quite relaxed about dirt but DS2 has at times refused to do anything until some tiny speck has been removed from his finger or whatever. Even now aged four he insists on changing his top if he gets any mark on it and trust me I am the complete antithesis of OCD cleanliness!! DS2 also has a thing about flies,bees and spiders.

I wouldn't worry he sounds fine!

Thank you both. Voices of reason.

I can't see that there could be anything wrong because when he's "ok" he's amazing fun and really happy. It's just these phases of being so dour that bring out the stress-head in me.

Maybe he's just going to be a moody arse like his parents

try not to worry makkapakka it really sounds okay, all of this - hard to deal with but okay. if you see what i mean. very hard to imagine there is anything serious underlying all of this. lots of younger children go through an OCD phase (i did that need-to-do-everything-twice thing myself for a while as a kid! nightmare for all concerned, including me!).

Oooh I'm really glad that toddler OCD clean freak stuff is normal.
DD (19mo) is obsessed with things being 'messy'. Last week what I thought would be an enjoyable walk in the woods was entirely ruined by her getting upset about mud on her wellies!
I have no idea where it comes from as I definitely am not at her with the wet wipes every second.

When my ds was a few months older than yours - 18-20 mths I was very concerned that he was autistic. Lots of OCD like behaviour, no eye contact and stuff that fitted with some level of AS. I mentioned it to my mum but that was as far as it got. My ds was seeing a paediatric consultant every 6 weeks (for other medical problems) so I figured he'd tell me if I had something to worry about (was too scared to ask him). My ds is now nearly 4.5 and absolutely fine. Still has OCD tendencies (always wants to clean everywhere but nothing too excessive) but completely normal little boy.

Thank you all.