How do you make messy children clean up after themselves. Is there a trick to this that no one has told me yet?

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

I'm so sick of ds(9) leaving clothes/plates/cups/glasses lying over the floor. I've tried rewarding him with pocket money and get so sick of telling him off. I would just like him to help me, 9 is old enough. He's just so messy! I can't stand it!!!!

Don't let him take anything out of the kitchen for a while?

DH is still like this He has a big box by his bed where I dump all his 'stuff' which he clears out once in a while. Cups by the bed...I just bring em down, he's not gonna change.

There's no hope then

ds1 is heading the same way He's only 4 but he's not allowed to get anything else out until he (for which read we) put what he's just played with away. As for clothes, they get tossed everywhere but I try to make it a game, who can get the most in the basket fastest (prob won't work with a 9yo though). I decided i can either get stressed about it or live with it, they aren't going to change. I opted to live with it, couldn't stand constantly battling with them, thats no fun at all.

Sorry I'm not much help am I

I have no intention to live with it, if it were up to ds the house would end u being condmned by social services!

I have not cleaned up his mess for 4 days in the hope he'll look around and do it himself. This has not worked so I've just had to tell him off. [sigh emoticom] He's just knocked 2 day old hot chocolate on the carpet which doesn't make me feel any calmer!

You have to allow mess/play in certain rooms only, and make other rooms mess-free zones.

Eg our children are allowed to make mess in their bedrooms and in the dining room (which is really a sort of library-play-computer-TV room as we always eat in the kitchen). Other rooms are totally out of bounds to their toys and detritus - though not to them.

I saw a 'basketball net but with no hole in the bottom' dirty clothes basket that you hang over the door, might that inspire him for the clothes?

Our house it titchy Anna. We just don't have the space for a messyroom. He doesn't leave toys lying around, but dirty pants (vom!), clothes, plates, cups. He will knock my work off the sofa and just say 'oh well' , leaving it on the floor until I tell him off. I've had enough!

Rather than rewarding try taking away priviledges.

Agree 'cups, plates etc should not be taken out of kitchen' rule.

Put all the mess in his bed

I'll try that channel. Thanks

Can't you have a "no food outside the kitchen" rule?

I would go bonkers if people had food and drinks in the sitting room/near the sofa...

We have two major rules -

Clear up before you clear off

and

If it's on the floor it's thrown

The second one isn't working as yet, we're still having to screech and stand insistently over them while they tidy, but is in its infancy as a rule.

The first one works wonderfully.

Also with Anna8888 - they only get to strew their stuff in their own room, the rest of the house is out of bounds, but you have to be disciplined and say no as soon as they cross the boundary, or the old ways will creep back....

My DS is much younger so probably talking crap but what if you black bin bag stuff that's left lying around in communal areas of the house?

And re the food - we only let them eat over a table. Easier in the long run, even if it's only a cereal bar.

lol! He's so bloody lazy. I didn't make his bed for him last night and he spent 10 minutes moaning. I feel like a slave!

We have to eat it the living room as there is no space for a table or chairs in the kithen. Our house really is small. He has not had pocket money for months as he's done nothing to earn it (sigh!!)

The table's in the living room (only place with any space) and currently has monopoly on it which has been there for 3 weeks! I'm still waiting for him to put it away.

I'm off, shall be back later. Thanks for all of your help.

When I say live with it I mean live with the fact that they're crap at clearing up not live witn the mess My house is clean and tidy despite living with 3 men (one of whom is only 1 but brings his own unique style of mess). Tidying gets done together and is driven by me but I refuse to stand over them like a screaming banshee watching while they grovel around tidying to my satisfaction...although I come to think of it...

I have 2 strict rules:

1. No food upstairs.

1. No TV until everything is off the floor/ house is clean and tidy according to some random standard which varies from day to day depending on what mood I'm in.

The no TV rule has been an absolute miracle worker. In fact, I'm about to enforce it again in a minute. I've seen toys, books, bags on the sofa from last night, so the TV is about to go off any minute now while things get cleared up...

5yo DSD has recently been taught to take her plates and cups back to the sink for washing. She has also been taught to empty any remaining food into the bin.
I dunno I think you just have to get them into the habit early.

People might disapprove but I say to my kids (age 3 and 5) "Who wants a sweet?, well you tidy up for me and I will get you one". Or when DD asks me to do something with her (often, because she is very demanding), I say "Well if you tidy up for me I will do that activity with you". I don't see anything wrong with bribery because in adult real life we get money if we do work and in their life they do a household chore and get a sweet. I think it is educational!

It won't work if they get sweets all the time anyway. Mine get one jelly baby when they have done something good and I think a handful of jelly babies per day won't rot their teeth/minds too much. When they are older I suppose it will have to be money not sweets. I may be 'wrong' but it works for us!

Phantom - my ds (9) is untidy as well - he needs constant reminding.
I have been thinking of making little velcro reminders that he moves accross from a TO DO to DONE side of a chart. Just been too lazy busy.

Am watching for other ideas!!

dunk your laundry

My dd (9) is hopeless with clothes. All over the bedroom floor, hanging out the wardrobe, etc. Whose fault - Mine of course. Need more withdrawel of privaleges, I think.

Snigger, thank you. 'Clear up before you clear off' is making quite an impact round here.

Routines for tidying? Start small. It's useless getting them to tidy when things are bad. My son aged 7-8-9 will cry for I hour that he can't do it rather than lift a single toy from the floor. I've gone back to beginning. At bedtime I remind him politely to put underwear in laundry basket. BUT I DONT KNOW WHERE IT IS he wails. I show him politely/angrily where it is, and accompany him to laundry basket if necessary. Then I ask him politely but firmly to put his still wearable school clothes on the chest, not scrunched on floor. Everyday reinforces this simple habit, but requires concentration from mum.
Making bed I've given up on, but could apply same technique if necessary.
Taking plates to sink is established habit in all three children, enforced at every meal from five years.
All other tidying I have failed miserably to enforce, being rather messy myself.

Toots.

You may also want to try my patented

"If I stand on your Lego again I'm going to FEED it to you" screech.