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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

4yo not eating - wants mummy to feed

7 replies

mum2jakeyroo · 22/11/2008 08:19

My 4yo old has recently stopped wanting to feed himself. Tbh I think it is laziness. I serve up meals that I know he likes but still he says he needs help and will sit there and not eat so we have a choice feed him or let him go without. Any tips. He will generally eat a sandwich at lunch no problem

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 08:26

I am not the best person to advise as I don't have a lot of success with my parenting techniques. Ds likes me to do most things for him at 4 and it takes a lot of work and encouragement for him to do them even though he can.
With eating I try to do the I will do 4 mouthfulls then you do 4. I also give him a lot of finger food at the moment so he can't really ask me to feed him. At night time without fail I tell ds 3 things I am proud of during the day and if we are having a trying time with eating will use this time to try and boost him eg "I was so proud that you ate 5 mouthfuls by yourself tonight...sometimes you want me to do it and tonight you showed me how well you can use your fork/spoon and not spill any."

CoteDAzur · 22/11/2008 08:33

Well, the obvious answer is "Don't feed him".

moondog · 22/11/2008 08:56

No pandering.
Will wear you out and turn him into a monster.
If he wont eat, dont force him.
I guarantee you thast he will not starve.

Original poster

mum2jakeyroo · 22/11/2008 09:27

Thanks all - thats what we have been doing - if he doesn't eat we don't feed him (also have a 2yo and a 5wk old so believe me not got the time to pander)
Another quick question - he stays at gp's every other week for one night and I don't think she is abiding by our wishes cos 'he needs to eat'. Would you stop sending him until his eating is sorted.

OP posts:

blinks · 22/11/2008 09:35

it might be more pronounced because of the 5 week old, our daughter regressed on various things after we had DD2...

Mungarra · 22/11/2008 09:41

I would pander to it. I know it's annoying but he probably needs reassurance after the baby's arrival. My 4 year old middle child likes me to get him dressed even though he can do it himself. He seems to need that extra bit of attention.

It won't go on forever. He's only 4 and he needs reassurance. Children often regress when there's a mew baby.

ElenorRigby · 23/11/2008 09:21

I think your DSD is seeing the attention his younger siblings and wants to be special again or even remain a baby. I remember reading somewhere its unsettling or even scary to be growing into a big boy or girl.
5yo DSD had been going through similar with her sister of 15 months. To get attention DSD will lie on the floor and pretend to be a baby. She is better now though with the usual rewarding the good and ignoring the bad.

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