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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

give me some ideas please

21 replies

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 07:01

ok so I find ds very, very hard work. I am also pregnant and exhausted. I also have m.e. Dh has also been away for 9 days and I have 3 to go. Of the time he has been away there have been 3 days where there is nothing on. One was the first Friday and was hellish...we did go to the forest for a walk but this only ate up 2 hours, exhausted me and left me with 10 hours still to cope with during which ds was bloody hard work. The second was today which was fairly ok as things go...ds only had 4 big tantrums, only hit me twice so not too bad...we went to library in morning and spent 2 hours reading as he loves this. Very very worn out now though as he needs constant input and I just don't have the resources at the moment. Anyway I have now got tomorrow left to go and just am dreading it to be honest. I don't have enough money to go somewhere that costs. We have a 2 rivers near, one with ducks, one with stones, we have a domain with large grassy bit and park. We have local park. All of these require alot of input eg to stop ds running off, getting too close to water, etc but is generally better than staying in. I have 13 hours to entertain him for, of which he will not spend any on his own. Please don't suggest tv as this just makes his behaviour worse and is not worth it at all. What would you do???

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meandjoe · 22/11/2008 07:02

How old is he??

Original poster

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 07:03

sorry he is 4.

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meandjoe · 22/11/2008 07:08

How about somethings round the house like painiting, I know it's messy but at 4, he could at least try and keep the paint on the paper! Colouring books. How about just going out to see an family/ friends as they could maybe help with entertaining him and he'll get a change of scenery which always helps my ds. It's getting near Christmas, could you just sit him down with an argos catalogue and get him to look at things he'd like on his wish list? Maybe go out in the garden (assuming you have one now) and collect leaves then make pictures with them (obviously requires glue so may be a bit messy but fun!). I'll try and think of some more!

Original poster

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 07:15

thanks yes we do painting most days, usually lasts less than 30mins but still it is something. Yes is summer here and he will go out in pool if day is nice, unfortunately I have to go in too which is getting very difficult with pregnancy. No to catalogue idea but thanks anyway, he is not into toys at all (if that is what argos does) he is into adult input at all times. Most people I know have family time on Sunday and can't intrude and mostly people can't handle him round at theirs so don't get many offers tbh. I have a mum nearish but she is in a home and while I love to see her, ds doesn't really cope to go there.

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meandjoe · 22/11/2008 07:15

OK, this one sounds a bit bonkers but I remember my mum doing this with us when we were little and it used to entertain all 3 of us for a good hour or 2! Have you got any big peices of paper like rolls of lining paper or old rolls of wallpaper lying around? Turn it on to the back and have ds lay down on top of the paper, draw around him with a marker, then have him 'dress' himself with lots of scrap paper/ colouring in, paints, whatever.

I know all these things require input from you but hopefully not too much. He should with a bit of luck be very distracted and hopefully not tantrumming.

Could you get him to make Christmas cards for family? He should get into the Christmas mood and be only too happy to do something creative (maybe!)

At least if he's doing something arts and crafty then you don't have to be chasing around after him and you get to stay indoors and warm!

meandjoe · 22/11/2008 07:20

Are there any toddler groups near by? My ds can be a bit of a handful around other people's houses so I do understand (he's only 15 months but I can't see it improving tbh!)

Does he like playing any games that you could play with him like 'Connect four' or card games? It must be hard after being on your own for so many days alone with him. xx

Original poster

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 07:21

thanks for all the ideas meandjoe. Have done xmas cards. Re drawing round him, he wouldn't cope well with lying and being drawn around but could try just drawing outline of person for him to decorate...no way would it keep him going for a couple of hours...wow!!!!

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meandjoe · 22/11/2008 07:21

P.S You are so lucky it's summer, we are freeaing which makes it impossible getting out the house! lol.

seeker · 22/11/2008 07:22

Forgive me - but it sounds as if you have concerns about his behaviour too. Are there issues there that need to be addressed - he sounds quite challenging!

Original poster

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 07:23

tomorrow is a sunday here so no toddler groups. (DH is away Mon and Tue too but I have playcentre on one day and I am working Tue so only have ds from 3 that day.)

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JustKeepSwimming · 22/11/2008 07:26

um, forgive me if i'm way out of line here, but at 4 he won't occupy himself at all??
even play on the floor with cars? what if you have a pretend town on the floor, drawn on paper with roads, etc.?

the reason i'm asking is, you are pregnant, so baby will be appearing soon and needing your attention and time - what will you do with ds then?
Maybe now is the time to start getting him to learn to play independently?
even if only for 5 mins to start with?

Original poster

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 07:26

seeker I have asked until I am blue in the face about how challenging I find him but nobody seems to be able to come up with much to be honest. He is apparently just a 4year old boy and I think it is maybe just that I find it hard to cope rather than he is hard to cope with iykwim

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Original poster

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 07:29

justkeepswimming I have tried believe me I have tried, he does not play with toys he is not interested. I have no idea how I will cope with the baby as well especially as I won't be working soon and will have to give up his days with childminder as I won't be able to afford them when I am not working. To be honest (this is terrible I know) I am only working 2 days so I can afford to have him with a cm and get a "break" at work.

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JustKeepSwimming · 22/11/2008 07:31

Can you resort to bribery?
If he plays with his cars/bricks/colouring book/whatever for 5mins without you there he gets a sweet/biscuit/chocolate?

then up it?

sorry if you've tried all this before - i haven't seen the posts.

and tv really doesn't help? gawd cbeebies has saved my sanity so may times since having ds2!

Original poster

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 07:39

tv is an absolute and utter no sorry, his behaviour goes through the roof if he watches tv. Never found anything bribe worthy enough for ds thanks anyway. Um back to original posts ideas for tomorrow please as I have I think tried everything for behaviour and am doing best I can in this area. I will read with him for a while but this doesn't burn much energy, will do some sort of art activity with him but ditto. Will go into pool if hot but as mentioned finding this really uncomfortable but ds will fairly happily squirt water at me for quite a while...biggest problem (other than getting me in and out) is getting him out as I am struggling to lift him now and he is usually less than willing.

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Original poster

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 07:41

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HomeintheSun · 22/11/2008 07:51

does he like music? my DS is 2 next month and loves music and would happily dance and spin round the livingroom for hours.

Original poster

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 07:53

thanks home in the sun but not really into music, he did like it about the same age as your son but not interested now unfortunately

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seeker · 22/11/2008 08:00

What does he like to do? If you gave him a completely free choice, what would he do?

Original poster

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 08:10

we did that today seeker and from 8-8 did
stories at home
drawing (tantrum as drawing didn't look how he wanted it)
library for stories
baking brownies
ds describing a robot for me to build (resulted in one of the tantrums as we didn't have the right parts to make his robot)
a game ds designed of stand up a whole lot of dominos and then try to blow them down (tantrum as I was having difficulty blowing down the dominos)
a game of snakes and ladders (tantrum because he went down a snake)
a game of candyland
a game of guess who
stories at home
bath play
stories
ds describing another robot for me to draw

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Original poster

yawningmonster · 22/11/2008 08:21

biggest prob today was it was a bit on rainy side and ds couldn't burn off much, usually at home he likes to play hide and seek, chase, jumping, lounge room obstacle course but I can't manage to do these with him at the moment. Hide and seek is not too bad but he likes me to hide well and I can't hide many places as bump excludes some favourite places, it is easier not to play than invite a known blow up point iykwim (perhaps I should just take a deep breath and cope with the tantrum at least he burns some steam)

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