3.5yo having trouble undressing

[cornflakegirl]

My 3.5yo DS can't seem to get the hang of taking off tshirts and jumpers by himself. Long-sleeved ones are worst, but he struggles with short-sleeved ones too. He can manage pyjama tops, because they are so stretchy, I think.

I've tried getting him to cross his arms and pull the bottom of the tshirt over his head. He completely doesn't get this. We now get him to hold one sleeve above his head and pull his arm out downwards, but he really struggles, and his elbow usually gets stuck.

Has anyone got any tips to help him learn how to do this?

Because of his age his arms are still relatively short to the rest of the body proportions. As he grows it will become easier for him. I'm not sure what to suggest as a practical solution. Maybe buy slightly larger clothes so he has more room and give him lots of time to change his clothes.

Mine couldn't undress himself til 4.Now at nearly 5 we still have battles.Have decided he is Laid Back lazy

I did wonder if it was just because his clothes were too tight. But we just got him some more clothes in the next size up, and it doesn't seem to have helped. And the size above that drown him!

Lots of time doesn't seem to help either. I encourage him to try, and say that I'll help him when he's had a proper go. He really resists trying, but when he finally does, I have to help him because he just gets so stuck.

His best friend is 5 months younger than him and seems to have no problem with it. I don't know if it's just because she's quite skinny and he's quite chunky, so less spare room in the tshirt. Or whether she knows something that he hasn't worked out yet!

He doesn't really like undressing himself. If he got stuck taking his socks off, he used to get frustrated and give up really quickly. But we perservered with that, and now he knows that if pulling isn't working he needs to try pushing the top down etc. Not sure what alternative methods there are with removing a tshirt though!

my ds has some SN... so what we do is "backward step"... if I am trying to get ds to take clothes off, I get to the last step and let him do the rest, so pull down his trousers, he takes them off (usually ), take his arms out of his sleeves then he pulls his top off, over his head...

gradually, once they have mastered the final step you leave the 2nd last step undone and so on.. this works for my ds, I don't say anything (though I might praise him for doing it, I do not direct him, or ask him to do anything)

I think it is such a simple and non-confrontational way for my ds to learn...and I only found out about it by going on a course, I know some children seem to learn these things without being taught, but maybe (in my case anyway too much thinking doesn't help!).

hth

Thanks Aefondkiss. I think that's kind of what we do with tshirts. If I get the first arm out for him, he can take it from there, and seems quite happy to do so.

Maybe I just need to think a bit harder about other ways he could get the first arm out! Or maybe I should just chill

I had to teach my son how to dress and undress, too, and ended up not going for the crossing arms over and pulling t-shirt over head option, because that results in a completely inside-out t-shirt, and I couldn't face one day having to teach him how to get it back the right way round...

I used to get my son to put one hand up inside his t-shirt and pull down hard with his hand on the seam underneath his armpit on the other side (ie where the sleeve meets the t-shirt body) so that he could wriggle his arm out over that hand without the elbow getting stuck at the seam, then do the same with the other arm, then with both arms already out of the sleeves, pull the t-shirt off over his head. Even though he has low muscle tone and a poor grip, he managed to do this unless he was particularly sweaty.

asteamedpoater - great minds! i tried that method with him this weekend, and it definitely seems to have potential. i think maybe half the battle is just getting him past thinking that he can't do it.

If you require any other tips on dressing skills, I've been there! We've tried and tested most methods over the last two years... I never realised how complicated getting dressed is until I had to show someone else how to do it.

Cool - any tips for buttons?

I'd chill if I were you. Those arms will grow.

Aefondkiss's suggestion would work well with buttons - start by getting the buttons into position for him and just get him to pull/push the buttons through for the last bit, then work on from there once he's got a bit of confidence and a reasonable grip - and start with very large buttons and big button holes. And get him to do buttons on clothes he isn't actually wearing, first - if the clothes are on and he's looking down at them, it's much trickier. And, of course, talk him through what you are doing when you show him how to do the whole thing. OTs normally have button strips with different sizes and shapes of button to practice on, so if you or he were really keen, you could make one for him...

However, he is only 3.5 and plenty of children that age still find buttons really tricky, so I wouldn't push it unless he actually finds it fun. My younger son seemed to get hours of amusement out of playing with buttons - I think it made him feel very clever, because his older brother found them so tricky!