Mums of Boys please help me at am seriously unsure of what I need to do

[TheMadHouse]

DS1 is 3.8 and all of a sudden has become 10 times more energetic, angry, arumentative, disruptive, naughty and downright bad for the sake of it sometimes.

I have read bringing up boys and thought that this could be the testosterone thing, but I need advise on how to get through it and practical things I can do.

I ensure that we do activities out of the house Monday - Friday mornings and then he goes to Preschool. We used to go to the park after school, but it is too dark when we get there now.

I am at the end of my teather, he his hitting his younger brother, turning the TV up so loud. Nothing I do makes any difference at the moment.

Every day is a battle and I am not wanting to be with him at the moment.

4 DS's?

I agree with n5rje - sometimes I found my ds would be calmer when the tv was off completely and he had to have a snack every two hours and was uncontrollable if hungry...

Snowcrystal was right as well in that I think they miss the hugs and closeness but dont know the right way to ask for it - I think it helped us to time out without warning for anything violent and be consistant about it but then be really all over them with the praise and affection at other times.

did I read right that he has got a wii as well at 3.8? does it get played with a lot?I think if my ds had one then anything else wouldnt get his attention at all (hes now 5)

it does get better though honestly. they do return to being normal again though with bouts of monster behaviour in between.

rereading that it sounds a bit judgemental about the wii it wasnt meant to be - more interested really...

giantkatestacks - the wii is really a family thing that we all use together. He doesnt go on it during the week unless he has been really good and then it is very limited. We thought long and hard before buying one.

I understand the TV issue to, but that it not on all the time and it strickly sanctioned. It tends to be used when I am cooking or some other such thing that they arnt helping with.

giantkatestacks - sorry I responsed before you posted again

its ok Madhouse - the only reason I asked is that my ds plays on one at his after school club and the whining we have had to get one...god its neverending but have held off because I know it would become a massive battleground between us...

rereading your original post - could he be tired after a morning activity and preschool?or is it far worse if you dont get out of the house?

Far worse if we do not get out - I dont think tiredness is the thing IFKWIM

Boys are like dogs

At least two good runs out every day

The park/beach/woods, whatever is nearest

Can you walk to/from Nursery, to add in extra exercise opportunities?

Football, swimming, what about dancing - don't laugh - both of mine benefited from learning to move their bodies in new ways IYSWIM.

I agree that staying in is really not a Good Idea

And remember - this too shall pass

Good luck

Boys - I agree with you. I do walk to nursery

We tried dancing, but..... it was all girls and one little girl wouldnt hold his hand and started to cry He wouldnt go back, as he had upset someone. She also told him it was just for girls We do music and movement on a friday with the same teacher and she suggested stagecoach which he can start when he is 4 in March.

The local football team have just started to take 3/4 year olds, so have filled out an application form.

We also go swimming every wednesday morning.

Plus they are winding up for Xmas which is hideously hard interesting.

Try to ride it out, as others have said, pick your battles, try not to say no all the time ( I spend a LOT of time saying 'steady'- and mine are older), limit the opportunities for mischief making (you have control of the remote for example even when cooking).

Onwards and upwards.

What struck me is how much you do and that he might be tired.

When we dont do our regular stuff, like half term etc he is even worse.

I will ride it out - I am just not sure I like the fact that he can turn anything into a pretend weapon at the moment

He had the sweeping brush this morning as his pirate sword - at least I dont have to worry about his imagination

Madhouse - do you spend time with other boys his age - they are all the same.

This may not be much of a consolation when your ds is driving you mad but I felt increasingly frustrated until people pointed out that I was just expecting too much of mine to behave as I wanted all the time and had to ignore a lot of it as being boisterous (though not the hitting etc obv)

I think that is part of the issuie, a lot of the things we do seem to have lots of girls and they are just different. My close friend has a little bot the same age, but he is completley different - very sesitive

Sounds like a developmental change. My ds (4.5) can be a complete nightmare. It is very easy to spend my entire waking hours shouting at him or telling him off. What I do make a conscious effort to do is praise him fulsomely when he does something good (rare it has to be said).

For example the odd time that I don't have a battle in the morning I will tell him on the way to school how proud I am that he got dressed quickly/ate his breakfast/put his shoes on etc. When he has been badly behaved then we discuss (in the car - captive audience) how it feels to be told off and how much nicer it is when mummy is happy and not cross! Seems to be working slowly but we do still have the full blown tantrum - either lying on the supermarket floor or jumping up and down and screaming. Sometimes I join in!

i think i read somewhere that testosterone thing is a complete myth.

something about testosterone levels remaining stable until puberty so if a 4 year old did have a testosterone surge it would trigger precocious puberty.