Starting 'big' school help!!

[claw3]

This afternoon i am taking my 4 year old son to visit the school he is due to start in January, to meet the teacher etc.

He has decided this morning that he is not going to go to 'big' school, not even for a visit!

He has suspected SPD and can be resistant to change. We have been counting down how many sleeps to visit, for a couple of days to prepare him and he seemed keen. But this morning he is adamant that he is not going.

How did you guys cope, any ideas of how to get him there without him kicking and screaming?

Good luck for this afternoon. When my dd's went into school for a meet the teacher session, they had a lovely time. The children were allowed to go into the reception class and play with some of the toys, and then the teacher read them all a story. It was very gentle, very like nursery and the children enjoyed it. While the children were playing, the parents were given a talk by the head, and then shared tea and biscuits and bought uniform, book bags etc. Some of the children did not want to go with the teacher, and that was fine, they were allowed to stay with their parents (although they would have had a better time playing with the toys in the classroom).

Four year olds can be very stubborn, so I would tell him that you are going to have a quick look at the toys in his new school, and then you are going home.

There are lots of parents with reception children to be found on the primary section of the education board, so you will probably also find lots of support there.

Hope all went well this morning. Have you any other visits coming up? When my ds started school, there were a few opportunities to visit school, coffee mornings and songs and stories in his class. My ds also doesn't like change - he has found the start of Year 2 difficult,he also found reception hard, and fingers crossed, he is settling down now. Would it help if your ds took a special cuddly toy with him, and you read stories about starting school? I know there is an Usborne book called starting school, and also a Charlie and Lola one. I hope you don't mind me asking, but what does SPD stand for? My ds reacted badly this year to the change.

Could you go with something like "Well, I need to visit the school, and I can't leave you here, so you'll have to come in as well. But you don't have to do anything, just wait while I speak to someone"? Then when you're having a boring grown-up talk with the teacher you can offer him the chance to go and play if he likes... Of course he may cling like a limpet and refuse to even look at things, but you never know he might be tempted once he's in the building.

Ding - Thanks but its not until 2.30 this afternoon. SNP is sensory processing disorder. I wouldnt be alarmed at just being resistant to change, there are lots of other signs. Dont want to start anyone panicking!
I like the book idea, he loves Charlie and Lola, will give that a try before January.

Mad - Thanks im hoping he will be ok when we get there.

Scots - He is normally a really confident boy, straight in there and doesnt even notice whether im there or not. I have told him we are just going to say hello to the teacher and a quick look round the class. He has started to get really upset about it now, so have decided not to mention it anymore. I suppose i will just have to put him in the car, carry him there and hope for the best!

Although this isn't quite relevant to your scenario I regularly used to get my dd1 (now in YR1) to nursery and reception by telling her that if she didn't want to go that was fine but we had to go and tell her teacher that she wasn't going as that was the polite thing to do. Every time she stayed without a fuss!!!!

Elk - My ds would probably do just that and then expect to come home, knowing my luck!

I usually avoid power struggles with him at all costs, but i think i might have to do the 'im the parent, youre a child, just get in the car' routine this time.

How did it go?

You know he doesn't have to start full time education (at school or otherwise) till the term after he becomes 5, yes? So if he's adamant that he doesn't want to go and your circumstances permit it, it's absolutely fine to say "oh, ok then" and go on living your lvies just as you are now!

Onward- Morning, well when it was time to leave he ran upstairs and hid, took me about 15 minutes to find him hidden in my wardrobe! I had to carry him to the car, with him clinging to anything we passed, the bannisters, doors etc!

He did say to me in the car on the way there, he thought the kids would make fun of him and laugh at him. (he has had some of this at nursery, because he can be a bit 'quirky')

Literally as soon as we got there, the nursery teacher asked if he would like to go and play or stay with mummy and he was off without even so much as goodbye! He loved it!

He will be 5 in March, so January will be the term before he is 5.

Oh that's good - if he's funny about the idea of it in future you can always remind him that he enjoyed the visit!