HELP! - Is my child hyperactive?

[Eulalia]

My boy (3yrs, 7 months) has always been active but I never felt he was hyperactive ? but I don?t really know what the definition of that is. Amongst other behaviour which I will come to does it include getting up very early and not sleeping when tired?

Since around Christmas he has been phasing out the daytime nap. This was a bit hit and miss as he would tire himself out so much that he?d be really grumpy by evening so some days I did give in and let him sleep in the daytime and just have a bedtime of 10pm. In total this was about 12 hours sleep. Some days were fine with sleep from 8-8.

However since last Sunday he started dropping the number of hours he sleeps at night to about 10.5 hours without a daytime nap. Every day last week he would be awake at 6-7am depending on bedtime. He was tiring himself out before we got out of the door for playgroup and by evening was really overtired for my husband arriving home which made him irritable. By the end of the week it really caught up on him (my son) and on Friday afternoon he fell asleep with his head on the table at 4pm. I gave up and put him to bed at 5pm then woke him at 7.30pm then he went back to bed at 11pm. Again up early the next day at 7am. Yesterday I had a bad stomach upset so put him back to bed and he slept 10.30-1.30pm. I thought it would be OK with this long nap as it was so early in the day and also put him to bed late at 9.30 but he was awake this morning at 6am.

In the mornings I?ve tried letting him watch TV but he gets bored with this quickly, videos also and he?s not really old enough to be trusted with much else. He tends to just want to bounce up and down on the bed and wake me (and dd).

Any suggestions?

Sorry this is so long. Now the (hyper?)activity. He also drives me mad by running around the house everywhere often just backwards and forwards from one end of the room to the other, jumping up and down on the sofa, following me from room to room and generally just not sitting still for a second. Sometimes he is so silly he falls over and hurts himself. He doesn?t have anything in his diet that would promote this behaviour. I feel he should be growing out of this kind of thing by now but is this wishful thinking on my part? He also sometimes does loud humming noises endlessly. I try to take him out as much as possible to the park and he has playgroup 3 days a week but maybe this doesn?t allow him to burn off enough energy. Maybe I should get a treadmill! Anyone else got a child like this?

I've not got just one, but two of them, Eulalia!

Like you I pondered the 'is he active or hyperactive' question at length, especailly with son number one, since I had never had a toddler before. I decided active was more appropriate. I kept asking teachers and nursery workers this question too. It's good to get a variety of opinions, especially from those who see your child in a group situation away from you, I think. All the people I asked said 'active' for bot son number on and son number two. Partly this is on account of the hours my sons sleep. Even if the youngest is not such a good sleeper, he still clocks up the hours - about 11 a night. (Quick update, he does have to odd half hour to an hour daytime nap, but his bedtime is now mostly before 8.30 - he settles much better, than a year ago and even asks to be put to bed. I think nursery days are the reason for this change as I said on another thread).

Anyway, as I understand it, a hyperactive child really is awake for lots more hours. That's not to say my active boys are problem free. My oldest son's behaviour has always been an issue at school. My youngest son distinguished himself by flinging a changing mat at the assessor,and throwing a wobbly after he sucessfully completed his three and a half year assessment recently. The assesor would not let him climb on the table in the consulting room and he became very cross. She was not impressed and did not look like she believed me when I said this type of outburst was not a common thing. The upshot is that we've got to have another test. Anyway, enough of my problems for now.

Eulalia, one thing that is different between my two sons age 3/4 is this: the oldest was so attention demanding. There was no chance of me reading even two paragraphs of a paper when we were together indoors. My youngest is more self reliant. I can browse the sunday papers while he watches a video, he will sit through a whole disney film at the cimema, he will run off and play happily with other children when we go to a play centre. My oldest insisted I followed him through all the tunnels and made me sit with him wheil he watched TV. I found it much more draining looking after my oldest even though he slept through 12 hours at night. He ran around a lot but it was not just this. He just wanted tons of attention from me or indeed any adult carer all the time. Teachers found the same thing when he started school.

I think it's easy to mix up the effect a child is having on you with the way a child is. My oldest son's personality drove me to distraction sometimes. I'm not saying this is what is happening with you, but I htink in myu case it colourd my feelings towards his activeness. Funnily enough,the 3 year assessors were much more positive about my oldest son, while I felt quite negative. Yet with my youngest son, the assessor was for more negative than me! I don't find my youngest son's behaviour a huge problem, would say he is a better behaved three year old than his older brother was. He is sociable, not a hitter, shares OK etc etc. Yet the nursery want him ( and several others in his class) to be looked at by an SEN advisor as a precaution and to suggest ways of controlling them. And this assessor wants to do another assessment at our home.

Anyway, going back to your question on does it get better and what should you expect at this age, I think your son is just at a very active age. I'm not sure how much he will calm down naturally in the next six mohts or so. I don't think my oldest did, though his attention span did begin to increase. However, both my sons got tired more easily at home in the evening once they had a full day at nursery (ie 5 or 6 hours). It was the new environment, new routines and most of all, I think, the new people. If there is any way you can arrage for your son to have longer nursery days (if he's happy to have them of course) I'd go for it. If this is not possible, I'm sure you'll find that when your son starts school he will seem mre tired in the evenings and ready for bed at a 'normal' time.

I am in a rush, so will end now, but will post more if I think of anything.

No, bt I know a girl who has! Sounds exactly like the ds of a friend of mine. Lovely boy but a human whirlwind. Also had the sleep problems. Few things - I think he may be getting overtired. My youngest dd (who can also be a bit overexcitable) actually wakes up earlier if she stays up late. She's then horrible all day. It did take both of mine a few months to adjust when they dropped nap times, so you may find that this will sort itself out soon. Also, both of mine seem to go into 'hyper' mode when they are very tired - almost like if they refuse to admit it it will go away. Usually with eldest dd I just keep telling her off until she will stay in bed for 10 mins with eyes shut and mouth closed (not talking). She's then fast asleep, but without the telling off she won't give in.
Other things - aren't boys supposed to get a surge of hormones round about 4. Perhaps your Ds has kicked in early.
As regards the little boy of my friend, he's now 7, still sometimes makes me tired just watching his boundless energy, but has calmed down a lot, and now knows when its appropriate (park, football practice) and when its not (my lounge ), school has calmed him down a lot and he has no problems sitting still when he has to, he'd just rather not. He is lovely though, and something about all that enthusiasm is great (mind you - I'm not his mum)

Thanks for your long post tigermoth and yours too berries. Yes berries he has shown these signs of being overtired before - I think you are right it is going to take awhile to settle into some sort of routine. I think I've been too afraid to put him to bed too early in case he woke at 4am or something!

tigermoth - yes I remember you talking about your children on other posts so I am glad I am not alone. I do find ds draining but sometimes I just have to laugh like the way he found the noisest toy this morning and dragged it across the floor. Fortunately even dh found it funny! Maybe it is just hte bright sunny Spring mornings just now that is wakening him.

I forgot to mention that he also has another Under 5's group and we go swimming every week so we do something 5 days a week. He is just at playgroup which is 2.5 hours and can't do more hours than that for just now. So we'll just have to see how it goes...

As for today well he nearly fell asleep at 5.30 at the dinner table but perked up and was really fine till bedtime sitting fairly quietly, drawing etc. He went to bed at 8pm so we'll see what happens tonight.

I also forgot to mention he's been referred to a behavioural unit mainly to do with his speech but he's behind with toilet training as well. But that is another story!

My ds didn't have an assessment at 3.5? I am not sure when the next is. Hope all goes well with your ds's next assessment and maybe they will move the tables away!

We have got a new kitten who behaves in exactly the same way as your son Eulalia, particualarly the mad running around and jumping up and down and following us around. Sometimes she is so silly she runs into things, and hurts and frightens herself. Maybe it is something that young animals do? I wish I had the energy.

Hi Eulalia,

My ds is nearly 3.7 and funningly enough he has just recently not needed so much sleep. Before he would go 7 - 7 but this last couple of weeks it is nearly 8 and then he is sometimes up by 6.30 - 7.00. I think he is just getting that bit older and isn't needing so much sleep. He stopped the day time sleep before Christmas.

He too is very active but I think it is just a boy thing( I hope!!)He too likes jumping on the couch etc and running around and also in the last couple of weeks he has started running away on me if we are out and about. He thinks it is a great game!! It drives me mad as I always feel on edge with him.I worry so much about the danger of cars. I have told him he is going back into reins!I don't know if this will work or not.

When we come out of nursery I always think he is the most active, the other children seem to be alot calmer where as my ds wants to run around etc.

I have looked at hyperactive web sites but I don't think he has this as he can be quiet etc and has always been a good sleeper.It is hard work being a mam sometimes.

Take care

Thanks lorne and aloha. lorne my ds is the same and I still use the double buggy if we have to go to the city centre even though he is a bit big for it now. anyone know what sort of age these should be used to?

Well this morning I was woken at 6.30 by dd this time (sigh) but ds woke at 6.55 so he had about 10 3/4hrs - I thought he would sleep longer as only had 8.5 hrs the night before - oh well.... anyone can't talk more crying baby .....

Last night it was 8.30 - 7pm which is OK for us and maybe a time we will stick to now. Looks like for hte moment 10.5 hrs is all he needs.

dd is following in his footsteps - she had even less sleep than him last night!

Keep us posted on your ds2 tigermoth.

Thanks.

My ds 2 really doesn't slep much more than 10.5 hours a night either, Eulaila. I am surel some of his bad moods are down to tiredness, so this cause and effect situation will pass in time. He is at his worst late afternoon early evening, and that is the time he tries to sneak in a nap on the sofa if we are not looking. His tiredness time is getting gradually later, so one day it will I hope perfectly coincide with his bedtime!

I have heard nothing from the surgery or the school as yet, but will keep you posted. I believe age assessments are done at varying times depending on yor locality. Don't know what happens in your area - possibly you ds will have an assessment sometime before he starts school?

sounds very similar to my son Eulaila and i have never considered hyperactivity, i think boys are just very active and some much more than others. In true hyperactive kids i think they really are uncontrollably active and sleep very little. My ds is just 4 and when he's awake he is very active and wants attention but on the flip side he also sleeps quite alot, still has an afternoon nap and falls asleep at tea time if he doesn't get it! I ahve noticed though that sometimes he goes really crazy when he is tired and he ALWAYS comes out of pre-school like a tornado, with me chasing down the street after him usually!

I all so have a hypo 3 year son.he dose not carm down till 3,00am and is awake at 7.00am for school. So i went to my health visitor and the doctors about 4 or 5 time untill thay would listen to me and thay sent him to a paediatrician.He has now waiting for a a pointment to see a child phycolaist

last night my 3 year old went to bed at 8.00pm i was so pleased and he did not wake up till 9.00am.Si was able to spend some time with my husband.I is the first time in 1 year.I have now cut out some of the all the e numbers,colours,flavouring, preservative because the paediatrician said that thay can send your children hypo

I've just noticed this thread and it relates to my situation almost exactly. My son is 2 and 10 months and has a 'frantic' disposition theres no other word for it. Not only is he 'hyper' but hes also very heavy handed, as he weighs 3 and a half stone this can become a problem. He has recently been described by the playgroup leader as a good intentioned hyperactive child that doesn't know his own strenghth. Just the reviews you want for your child. The only thing I can link it to is changes in his life, such as starting playgroup, moving house and a new baby on the way. I mean its enough to make me hyper. It also links with a very poor attention span which makes me wonder whether he will always be this way in some form or another. Instead of worrying myself sick over it I try to look at it in a more positive light and instead of forcing him to sit and do puzzles and frustrate him with counting all day I try to encourage him the things he likes to do such as running, football and music. It works off some of the energy any way.

I started thinking about this thread when I was out with ds (almost 3) this morning.

My local shopping centre has a child minding centre which is very convenient for me and ds LOVES going there, but when I arrived there this morning I realised it wasn't open yet, so I had about half an hour to kill. I went to a nearby cafe to order a cup of tea and something for ds, and while I was standing there waiting, ds was running in and out of the cafe and attempting to get into the cafe's kitchen. I kept telling him to come and stand next to me, to no avail whatsoever. I looked around a moment later and noticed that ds had managed to open the door to the kitchen and had run inside, so I went in to retrieve him - with a bit of a 'look' from the manager. I just can't work out why he can't stand with me even for a moment - like everyone else's children here, he is on the go constantly. Sometimes I think it's excitement, because when we're at home, he is able to sit quietly on the floor and play with his toys and he will also sit still for an hour or so and watch a video. But when we take him out, he just seems to go into 'hyper' mode and wants to see everything/go everywhere all at once. It's rather hard to get him to settle down sometimes too, he just wants to go, go, go. As far as sleep goes, he gets around 13 hours a day, night and day time included.

I read somewhere the other day (it might have been on mumsnet!) that one of the signs of hyperactivity is if the child won't make eye contact with you. DS will look at me when I start talking to him, but after a moment he looks over my shoulder and start concentrating on something else, and I feel as though I've lost his attention. Is this fairly normal? It doesn't happen all the time but recently I've noticed him doing it when I'm trying to tell him something. Sigh... feel like I'm becoming neurotic about this but all their activity can be very wearing on you, as everyone here would know.

My son and daughter both self-distract. They will look at you for a minute or so and then they look else where. DS has been assessed and he just has a active nature, we are waiting for DDs assessment on tuesday. We feel that there is more to her problems than we already know.

Hello, I've just found your thread Eulalia, my ds is the same age as yours and behaves in a very similar way. Today he finally went for an audiology test and failed due to fluid in his middle ear, which strangely enough at the time was a relief!? Just to know that there was maybe something tangible to link his language and behavior to.
While at the clinic we bumped into the Dr who assessed him for development and behavior. After deciding to disregard, for now, the possibility of autism, she asked me and his nursery to fill out questionaires relating to his concentration and interaction and general behavior. She had collated the results of these and written him up as hyperactive and 12months behind in his social communication, as he plays alongside his peers rather than with them.
I only say he is similar to your ds because you write that he runs up and down tirelessly and hums. My ds does this and he can sometimes look as though he wishes he could stop but there is something driving him on against his will. I have found that the only really effective way of stopping this is by trying to get his attention with something that I know he finds hard to resist ie a story or some kind of one on one play (I have found chocolate to be a terrible catalyst for this behavior and have now banned it from him poor sod).
I have found that the only way to make bedtime work is to be totally regimental about the routine, ie loo, bath, teeth, tidy up time, pyjamas, in bed, 3 storys (he loses one for any bad behviour, but can earn them back by being sweet),light off, kiss and maybe a tape of fairy tales to get out of the room without too much heartache. After a few nights of this being the only way he got used to it and now even enjoys the fact that he knows what comes next.
I need sleep now. Today has been rather emotional, I'll try to remember to write the other symptoms of his 'hyperactive' diagnosis another time if you would like to hear them?