Poo in the bath causing terrible problems for DS please help!!!!

[woose]

A few days ago my DS who is just two did a poo in the bath. He totally freaked out screaming and screaming. My DH always does the bath and although he didn't get cross or anything he may have been a little taken aback as this has not happened before. Now DS wont go near the bath and screams and screams. We have not started potty training and now I am worried that this will affect the process. It seems also that he has developed a fixation with wanting things clean. Tonight he wont sleep on his sheet because he thinks it is not clean. My DH and I don't know what to do, and seem to disagree. My DH is more forceful and seems to think DS needs to just get in the bath and stay there even though he is clearly upset. Whereas I think we should just take him away from the situation and maybe forget about baths for a bit. It is complicated also because I have just had a baby and he is worried about that too. So I am getting rather stressed by it all.

DS did this a couple of times.

We gave the bath a good clean out with bleach, while having a talk with DS about how nasty and smelly the bleach was, how he shouldn't go touch or sniff it, and how it was killing all the poo germs and making the bath nice and clean for everyone again.

OTOH, after that he did get the top off the domestos on two occasions and gave the toilet bowl an enthusiastic scrubbing...

When I told my friends about it they said that they always let their 2 year olds look at their poo when they change their nappies and it occurred to me that my DS may not have really seen his poo because when you change the nappy it just gets whisked away and I think it was a sudden realisation that this came out of his body that freaked him out. I think cleaning the bath with him is a good idea, I might try that!!

Sounds very stressful. I haven't had this exact experience - but DD did inexplicably go off baths at one point around 18mths. She screamed as if traumatised if we tried to put her in at all. We tried a couple of days without, then eased her back slowly...playing in bathroom, then in bath fully dressed, then in bath naked with no water, then showered her sitting in bath and playing with water, finally back to full baths. This was over a period of a couple of days and then she was fine.

Very time intensive when you have a new baby though. Forcing her to stay in the bath while upset wouldn't work with my DD I know that much!

Hope that helps a bit. No expert on potty training, but I doubt it will scar him in the long run. Has he seen poo before? Could you talk to him about it and maybe show him a nappy to get him used to the idea that it is all natural?

Dd went off baths a few times and I used to get in with her until she got back into the swing of it again. Have always been v frank about poo though so that could bea freak out for him-she used to run around without a nappy on a lot so we had a few poo moments!

Also (I know this is gross), but maybe let him come in the bathroom with you and/or your dh poo once just to show him that everyone does it? We used to have communal toileting (me on the toilet, her on the potty) when dd was training just so that she knew that everything was natural.

Could your DH not get in it the bath himself with lots of toys, bubbles and distraction and invite DS in to join in the fun, make it into a game how quick he can catch the yellow duck (or whatever?)

Or how about taking DS shopping for new toys for the bath, and a new dressing gown/cosy towel to give bathtime a refreshed focus?

Perhaps you could do story time in the bath. Something a bit different to distract him from the trauma.

Bless him though, a poo in the bath! it's only a little poo. aww...

with you when you poo

I think the cleaning idea is good in principle, but if he's already morphed from the bath being unclean to the sheet being unclean I would just tread a bit carefully in case it makes him more sensitive/aware of "clean" and "unclean". I wouldn't over focus on this.

Perhaps just show him the bath empty and saying "All clean! No poo! Look, can you see anything in the bath? Help Mummy have a look" etc (ie No, because it is empty and spotless). Then "shall we have a bath, shall we have this bubble bath or that one, what colour towel shall we use" etc etc. Move on once the cleanliness has been established perhaps.

sorry, ie "Nothing, because it is empty and spotless".

Hi everyone
Thanks a lot for all your ideas. I will try some of them. Tonight DS just held on to the bath and my DH sponged him clean and although he was not that happy about being in the bathroom he did not freak out. I think the bubbles and games is a good idea.

I think you are right - this might be the first time he ever saw his poo, which would explain why he was so frightened. I'd suggest trying to do things that will help him understand this is normal. Am sure there must be some great books out there - can anyone link? I'd personally be more for "normalising" the poo than feeding his desire to see everything clean and heighten his sense of poo as dirty (which of course it is, but it's not healthy for him to fear it in this way). He needs to understand it's natural - funny even! Animal poops, your poo - try and make him realise it's part of normal healthy life. It's too early, but might any part of him understand the process of eating, the body taking out the goodness, and getting rid of the bits it doesn't need?