HELP!!! My 4 year old is getting so agressive & angry!!!

[meowcatuk]

Hi,

My daughter who has just turned 4 is having such bad tantrums at the moment I am finding it really hard to cope!!

She gets so angry and agressive I don't know how to deal with it, it has only started over the last say 2 months she shouts and you can really see the frustration in her face! It can be over anything she doesn't want to do - brushing her hair, getting dressed for school!!

I am finding it really hard not to shout back and lose my temper (I am not into hitting or anything like that so just don't know how to deal with it in a way she will learn it is unacceptable)

If anyone can give me any pointers of how I can get my little girl back please let me know as I am finding it really upsetting!! Please help xxxx

Has she just started school? If so then its probably a reaction to that. Its a big transition for them starting school and lots of children get very tired too.

Do you use time out at home?

Hi, ya she just started school in september she used to go to nursery for a couple of hours each week so she is kinda used to being away from me.

Ya just started using time out today (naughty step) - it is like she thinks its really funny and either laughs or screams at me!!

She was never like this before if feel like she has turned into a child I don't know - as you can tell i am finding it quite upsetting and am sure she knows she is getting to me xx

Stick with it and she'll soon get the idea. You could try using a star chart to encourage positive behaviour too - lots of children respond better to the carrot approach than the stick IYKWIM. I find a combination of rewards for good behaviour and consequences for bad behaviour to be the most successful approach with my two.

hmm, sounds like my 4 yr old who has just started school and who has turned from an angelic smiley girl to a temper tantrum who hits.

Am trying to praise the good and reinforce the 'hitting is bad' with alternatives (ie tell the teacher if someone says something she doesn't like instead of hitting). And reinforcing boundaries. The naughty step will be worn out soon!!! Good luck!

my dd 4yo has been through exactly the same thing. I have had to come down really hard not tolerating any nonsense i think its a control thing, testing you out to see how much yu will put up with, i have taken her back to her room 30 time in a super nanny style until she came out and said sorry. Just stand firm and imagine you are super nanny.

my daughter is the same...when she started school she stared having really bad tantrums...
but it was weird she was excited about school until she got to the gate then she just went nuts!!! hitting screaming and even biting...
but when i pick her up the teachers say she was very good and she is happy...
does anyone have any ideas how i can stop the tantrums in the morning before school??
i have been told that it is a security/abandonment issue....is that true??