3 year old talking about death/killing/mortality...

[blinks]

my daughter has started mentioning death in various contexts of late and i'm not sure how to explain or handle it.

t'other day in the supermarket she was wanting me to show her a cake on the top shelf while i was busy inspecting some other foodstuff so she said 'mummy if you don't show me the cake i'm going to kill you'.

gulp

she said it very nonchalantly so i just said 'we don't say that and if you want something say please etc etc'.

i was a bit shaken by it but i've noticed that she's started to mention death quite regularly, talking about dreams or during imaginative play. nothing gory or morbid so i just get the feeling she's sussing out what death means.

no-one close to her has died recently... is this normal for her age (3)?

so no-one wants to talk death of a sunday evernin? ah well...

DS1 has just turned 4 and issues death threats at least 20 times a day.
It can be really wearing.
I spoke to the nursery about it and they were very good and said at that age they don't really understand the permanence of death especially if they haven't lost anyone close to them.

it is really shocking to be told that they are going to kill you if you don't give them a biscuit!

one of the weirder threats was one to DH, he said, "You will be in the photos, but you will be dead"

ee gads dragonbutter- pissed myself at that but then felt bad for doing so... it WAS a bit shocking to hear something so threatening (even though her expression and intonation was very neutral) and i started racking my brains for something potentially scarring she may have been exposed to but as she's mentioned death a few times of late, my instinct was this might be a normal stage...

i'm worried she might say something similar at playschool and they'd think she's getting threatened at home...

i doubt it.
but i have considered reading 'we need to talk about Kevin' just to make sure i'm not missing something serious.

my dd 3 has started this. I'm going to kill you. for a little while she would cry and say mummy you are dead.

I can remember being scared of death when I was about 4, i didn't really understand it and it made me feel physically sick.

interesting madrose... have either of you had a chat with your DC about death? do you think 3 is too young?

my DD turns 3 in january and has started issuing death threats the most memorable was last week when she said she wanted a dvd on and i said no as she was already busy painting so she said "DVD mummy or ill strangle you" needless to say i checked her for 666 brandings and steered clear of her mouth for fear she would vomit on me ala exorcist[scared emoticon] as far as the death thing im pretty sure its a phase all children go through as i clearly remember my friends DD around 3-4 years old asking my friend if she could tell her when she would die as she would like to sort her toys out first
xx ei xx

This goes in phases. Sounds like she is in an early phase: she knows the words and knows it means something powerful but doesn't actually understand the concept.

She is quite likely to go through another phase round about 6 or so when the concept and scariness of death actually does hit her. This is the time when you will need to talk to her about death.

In this earlier phase I would just ignore her, tell her not to be silly, just carry on with what you're doing.